


Operation Murray

by TheKingParrot



Category: Outlander, Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:27:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 53,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21754489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheKingParrot/pseuds/TheKingParrot
Summary: The prompt is from @akb723 - Love, Christmas, and a bit of drama ensues when Ian has been in the VA hospital after having lost his leg. While there, he meets nurse Major Claire Beauchamp. They become friends swapping familial information, stories, etc. Ian tells how much he missed/misses being home for Christmas. Wanting to surprise her friend, Claire attempts to reach out to his listed family, James, to see if there would be any way to get Ian home for Christmas, or at the very least, bring Christmas to Ian.
Comments: 1102
Kudos: 444





	1. Operation Telic

Major Claire Beauchamp was reading a report that had landed on her desk earlier that day. It began: _The UK lost 179 servicemen and women during Operation Telic that followed the invasion of Iraq on 20 March 2003. Many of those who died were killed by roadside bombs or in clashes with insurgents while on patrol. Others died as a result of accidents, so-called "friendly fire" strikes, suicide or natural causes. The six-year British military mission came to an end in April 2009._

She picked up a book sitting on her desk and threw it at the wall, letting out a squeal: “And what about the poor bastards left permanently maimed by this fucking war that should never have happened!” she cried. Lying in the hospital under her command were three wards of the permanently maimed from the operation in Iraq. It was December 2009 and although the military mission technically ended in April 2009, there were service personnel who had been so badly damaged, physically and psychologically, that moving them back to their homes hadn’t been possible.

She returned to the report: _3,598 British personnel were wounded, **i** njured or fell ill (315 wounded in action); 1,971 of whom required aeromedical evacuation._

All the service personnel in her three wards had been aeromedical evacuations. Some had lost legs, some arms, some their sight. Some had received wounds which left them in need of skin grafts and reconstructive surgery. A small group had been prisoners of war. A majority were suffering psychological damage. Those left in the wards had needed considerable medical care before they could even be evacuated. Life as they’d known it was over and they needed a team of professionals to prepare them for life after military service.

Claire and some of the other nursing staff had served in Combat Support Hospitals and Field Hospitals in Iraq. Many of their patients had suffered from gastroenteritis, skin conditions, upper respiratory tract infections and other less serious conditions. They had been treated and returned to the field when ready. The more serious injuries were people whose names were permanently etched in her memory. And the nurses they’d lost were personal and professional friends.

Back in the UK, the Op Telic veterans were housed at a Ministry of Defence Hospital Unit in Portsmouth, on the south coast of England. The unit was part of the Queen Alexandra Hospital, with specialist surgeons experienced in war injuries. It had been decided to keep the Telic veterans together in one facility for medical and social reasons. Many had served together and were known personally to the medical staff.

Almost all the service personnel had family or friends who could visit. The train trip from London took less than two hours. Claire had spoken to these visitors and arranged with many to come to the hospital for Christmas Day. She had bailed up the Minister for Defence on his last visit and secured funding for a fully catered Christmas lunch for the patients and their families. Claire was known for not taking ‘no’ for an answer. Her colleagues loved her tenacity and determination, and the patients knew that they had an advocate. The MoD knew she got results and could use her success rates for PR – provided they listened to her when she demanded support.

She had one patient who had received no visitors: Ian Murray. 

On weekends, when other patients had visitors who were laughing, plying them with chocolate and showing photos, Claire would wander in to the ward to find Ian in bed with his head in a newspaper held high so he couldn’t see them and they couldn’t see him. He would receive regular letters with photos – his wife, his children, his home. It wasn’t hard to see why his wife didn’t visit – four children aged between 18 months and five years and elderly parents and a farm to care for.

“What are their names?”, Claire asked as she looked at the latest photograph.

“That’s my eldest, wee Jamie, and he’s 5. Next to him is Maggie, who’s 4 and holding her hand is Kitty, who’s 3. The baby is young Ian, who’s 18 months. The elderly couple behind them are Brian and Ellen, my in-laws. Jenny’s got her hands full caring for all of them while Jamie works the farm”, Ian explained.

“Two Jamies? Just to make life even more complicated?” Claire smiled.

“Aye, Jenny’s brother. He’s great with the bairns”, Ian smiled. “And a great friend as well as my brother-in-law. He must have taken the photo”.

“So, Jamie Fraser Senior is the person listed as your family?” Claire asked.

“Aye, if anything went awry, I’d prefer Jamie be contacted. It’s been hard on Jenny. I havena seen her for over two years, and when I last saw her, we made wee Ian. I was on leave and I hit the landmine within days of returning to duty.” He rolled his eyes: “Jenny only has to look at it and she’s pregnant.”

“And you only have to look at her?” Claire laughed.

“Fair point. She’s a bonny woman and my childhood sweetheart”, Ian said. Claire noticed his eyes glistening with tears and offered him the tissue box.

“I think you need to blow your nose”, she suggested. 

Visiting Ian became a habit for Claire. She knew that medical care was only part of the rehabilitation process. She came to know Ian’s coffee order (strong black with two sugars). She also knew that if there was shortbread available, he preferred to have that with white tea and one sugar. She’d even adopted some of his strange Scots vocabulary: “You’re a wee scunner!” for the whiners in their midst, “she’s up to high doh” for the nurses who got riled up and “awa’ an bile yer heid” when he wanted someone to rack off.

Claire watched Ian as the ward’s Christmas tree was erected. He became uncharacteristically withdrawn and “awa’ an bile ye rheid” became an even more common phrase used for all and sundry. She had already been writing to the family to keep them informed of Ian’s progress, but now she decided to phone.

Getting hold of Jamie Fraser was easier said than done. She tried his mobile several times, not wanting to ring the family home for fear of alarming Jenny. When he finally returned her call, she had to listen carefully to understand his strong brogue:

“I couldna ring afore. I’m out on the farm most o’ the day. Is Ian peely wally?” he asked.

“Well, I’m not sure. What does peely wally actually mean?” Claire asked with a smile.

“Sorry, I mean is he sickly?” Jamie explained.

“Well, having the lower part of your leg blown off by a land mine does tend to make one a bit peely wally, but that’s not why I’m calling”, Claire replied. “I’m just wondering if we can arrange to have Ian contacted by the family on Christmas Day. I know it’s difficult to visit, but I wondered if I could set up a FaceTime call so he can see the children and Jenny, or maybe just a phone call so he can hear them. So many other families will have visitors – it’s a difficult time for him”, Claire told him.

“Aye. I wish we could be there but Ma and Da are both in need of care and the bairns seem to be on a cycle of illness. As soon as one gets well, another goes down wi’ something”, Jamie said sounding exhausted. “The internet drops out here all the time, but a phone call would be a grand idea. If ye let me know what time suits ye, I’ll be sure to have everyone ready. Did ye want it to be a surprise?” he asked.

“A surprise would be brilliant, but I think he needs to know that we’re organising something to keep his spirits up. I’ll let him know he’ll be hearing from you – and thank you for all you do. Ian speaks very highly of you”, she said.

“Tell him his present’ll be in the post as soon as I can get to Broch Mordha. And thank ye for thinking of this. We all appreciate everything ye do”, Jamie told her.

Claire wrote the time in her diary. She wanted to be sure she was in situ at the moment they’d agreed on. She headed down to the ward and told Ian: “I appreciate that Claire. It’ll be good to chat with them. I miss them all sae much.”

Claire and the rest of the staff were flat out preparing for Christmas. She and others without families had volunteered to work over the Christmas holiday. They ensured every patient had at least one gift and that tables were set for those who could sit up and bed serving trays who had to remain in bed. The wards were beautifully decorated in an effort to provide as much festive cheer as possible.

Claire waited by Ian’s bed with the phone waiting for the call from Ian’s family.


	2. The Bossy Sassenach Major

When the phone rang, Ian looked up intently. Claire plugged in the headphones so he could hear clearly without the peripheral noise of the ward. She watched as Ian’s face lit up and he spoke to Jenny and each of the children, asking them what they had got from Christmas. There were a few moments when he looked concerned and she made a mental note to ask him if there was anything he wanted her to do. Being so far away could make a patient feel powerless and that did nothing for their fragile mental health.

He was happy but tired when the call finished, and he handed the phone and headphones back to Claire. He rested his head on the pillows stacked behind him and began to tell Claire about the call when they heard a shrill sound outside the ward: “Was that the pipes? It sounded like the skirl from a chanter” Ian said. A moment later there was the constant sound of the pipes and a piper, in full regalia, appeared in the doorway.

“Did ye sort this?” Ian asked her with a wide grin.

“Nothing to do with me”, Claire replied.

As the piper slowly strode into the ward playing _Scotland the Brave_ , Ian spotted two figures behind him and called out: “Jamie – and wee Jamie! By Christ, ye two are a sight for sore eyes” Ian called out emotionally. “I wondered why ye werena there when Jenny rang. Ye wily bastard Jamie Fraser! And I love ye for it.”

Wee Jamie ran up to Ian’s bed: “Da. Are ye excited?” the young boy asked as his uncle sat him on the side of the bed. 

“I’ve never been more excited in my whole life son”, Ian said holding him close. “And ye in full Murray colours and yer uncle in Fraser. It’s like Scotland came to me.”

“Uncle Jamie wants to know where the bossy Sassenach Major is”, wee Jamie asked. 

Jamie Fraser looked up and saw an older nurse at the end of the ward: “I reckon she’s the old one up there. The one who looks like she sucked on a lemon. What do ye say Ian?”

Claire displayed mock indignation by placing her hands on her hips and saying to Ian with a wink: “Aren’t you going to introduce me Ian?”

Ian laughed: “Major Claire Beauchamp, this is my eldest child wee Jamie and his uncle Jamie Fraser. Jamie, this is the bossy Sassenach Major in the flesh.”

Claire watched as Jamie blushed. His face now merged into his wavy red hair. There was something particularly amusing about seeing such a tall, well-built man looking like he’d just opened his mouth to change feet. Like he’d transformed into a little boy about to be sent to the corner.

“I’m sorry Major … Claire …”, Jamie stammered.

“Don’t worry. You’re absolutely right. I am bossy. Believe me, if I weren’t, nothing would get done around here. I’ll leave you three to catch up. Lunch will be served in about 15 minutes and you’re very welcome to join us.” She looked at wee Jamie: “And we have sticky date pudding or Christmas pudding with ice cream for dessert. I think you’ll enjoy that.”

Claire began to mill around the crowded ward, talking to patients and their families and ensuring staff received any support they needed. Jamie watched her as she smiled, laughed and reassured people: “How did someone like her become a Major?” he asked Ian.

“Ye mean someone that pretty with a great figure and a sense of humour?” Ian said quietly in Jamie’s ear.

Jamie gave him a surprised look. “I may be a family man, but I’m no’ blind Jamie. Claire is one very special person. I’ve seen her take on military bosses, doctors and politicians and my money’d be on her _any_ time”, Ian told him. “She’s been a breath of fresh air on my bad days man. She seems to know exactly when to appear wi’ a cuppa and a biscuit. And she’s a good listener.”

As they ate lunch, Jamie found himself gazing at Claire. Occasionally, he’d look up to see that she was gazing at him. He began to wonder what she’d look like If she weren’t in that bland uniform. She was wondering if he really was wearing anything under that kilt. Ian was watching both of them and thinking what a fine pair they’d make. Two of his favourite people – both strong, caring, kind and good-looking.

After the meal, Claire had a quiet word with the piper, and they rose to announce to the gathering that they were invited to sing along to _Amazing Grace._ Some of the staff were surprised to see Claire, wine glass in hand, lead the singing: “I’m beginning to wonder if I know the Major at all” one of the patients laughed. “She should let her hair down more often.”

As the evening wore on, Claire did let her hair down – literally. Her long, dark hair hung down her back, softening her face and showing her off for the beauty she was. Jamie watched on, captivated.

Ian whispered in wee Jamie’s ear, both of them giggling like naughty lads, and the boy scampered across the ward and asked one of the nurses for a bit of help. The nurse carried a chair over to Ian’s bed and stood wee Jamie on it. Then Ian called out: “Major, I could use a wee bit of help here”. Claire wandered over and stood by Ian’s bed: “What can I do for you Ian?”

Wee Jamie held the mistletoe over Claire’s head and Ian winked at Jamie. In a deft movement, Jamie grabbed Claire around the waist and planted a kiss on her lips. The patients in the ward cheered loudly when Claire threw her arms around his neck and kissed him long and hard in return. She whispered in his ear: “Well, you did say I was bossy.”

Still reeling from Claire’s kiss, Jamie sat on a chair and looked at a grinning Ian. Stunned, Jamie told him: “Christ, that woman can kiss. I swear she’s got lips that could bring the dead to life.”

Visitors had begun to drift off to drive home. Some of them, like Jamie’s piper friend, had already left to catch the few trains that were running to London and beyond. Claire was farewelling each of them as they left. The two Jamies were some of the last visitors in the ward: “Where are you staying?” Claire asked.

“We’re staying in a wee B&B a few miles away. We’ll catch a train to London tomorrow afternoon and then the sleeper to Edinburgh”, Jamie replied.

“Come to my place for an evening meal. Nothing flash but enough to survive, and then you can visit Ian again before you leave”, Claire suggested.

“We dinna want to be any trouble”, Jamie said hoping she’d insist that it was no trouble at all. Claire looked at wee Jamie: “I don’t suppose you’d be interested in trying the _Boho Gelato_ I bought in Brighton last weekend. I’ve got one with strawberries, one with chocolate chips and an ice cream cake.”

“Can I try them all?” wee Jamie asked with a cheeky grin.

“Of course, I’m going to. It’s Christmas for goodness sake”, Claire laughed.

“And can we bring some for Da tomorrow?” wee Jamie added.

“Excellent idea! You can try them and tell me which you think he’d like the most”, Claire smiled.

They farewelled Ian, promising to return the next day. Claire drove them to her terrace house in Portsmouth: “Excuse me, I’m just going to put on something other than this uniform and then I’ll get us some soup, sandwiches and gelato”, Claire told them.

The two Jamies looked out at the water views until Claire returned. Wearing jeans and a T shirt, she was a knockout. As she chatted to wee Jamie about sandwich fillings, Jamie looked on and ached to feel her lips on his again. Even when she ate plain old sandwiches, he envied them being in her mouth. And the sight of her eating gelato drove him insane.

After their meal, they began chatting while wee Jamie looked at a book. Within minutes, the lad was fast asleep on the couch. Claire smiled: “It’s been a long day. He’s been such a good lad and Ian was so pleased to see him.”

She turned to look at Jamie: “I think I should warn you that Ian’s going to find it difficult. He can’t wait to get home, but it’s going to be a difficult adjustment. He’s carrying a lot of baggage from Iraq, not just his injuries. Do you know anything about it at all?”

“No, he hasna written about anything. He’s doing his best to forget I think”, Jamie said.

“Which is why his psychologist continues to work with him. He tries to forget but he has shocking nightmares. I won’t go into too much detail, just know that he lost his leg trying to save a child a bit younger than wee Jamie”, Claire explained.

“And did he … save the child?” Jamie said with concern.

“No. The child was blown up and Ian saw it all. That’s his recurring nightmare”, Claire said as her eyes filled with tears.

Jamie leaned forward and wiped a tear from her cheek: “Can I ask ye something?”

She nodded. “When Ian comes home, can you come with him? Meet Jenny and the bairns? And my parents? See where I live?” he asked quietly.

“I’d like that. How long am I invited for?” she smiled.

“I was thinking maybe ten years and then we’d review the situation. And one more thing?” he asked softly.

“What’s that?” Claire smiled through her tears.

“Could ye give me a bossy kiss again for Christmas?” he asked with a grin.

“Definitely”, she said sliding on to his lap.


	3. Twenty-four chocolates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the story continues ... this just flowed on to the keyboard.
> 
> The two Jamies prepare to return to Scotland, while Claire makes her own arrangements.

Young Jamie was in a deep sleep, so Jamie carried him out to Claire’s car and gently placed him on the back seat. He managed to get his seat belt secured and sat alongside him, like a giant personal pillow. Claire drove them to their B&B, which was a short drive away.

When they arrived, Jamie extricated himself from the slumped body of his nephew and got out of the car: “Thank ye Claire. We’ll see ye in the morning before we catch the train to London. I hope ye’ll take my invitation seriously. I meant what I said.”

“Even the ten years?” she smiled.

“Especially the ten years”, he grinned.

“I can pick you and wee Jamie up in the morning at about 9am if you like and take you to the hospital. It’s on my way”, Claire offered.

“Aye, I’d like that very much”, Jamie said as he leaned into the car and kissed her on the cheek. “I’ll look forward to it.”

Jamie lifted wee Jamie from the rear seat and carried him to the B&B, looking back at Claire as she drove off. He had no idea what had happened between he and Claire that day, but he was glad of it. Maybe this was meant to be, and it might be the only good thing that came out of Ian’s accident.

As Claire drove home, she was having the same conversation with herself. She had given up hope of finding someone who could soften the barriers she’d built around herself but somehow Jamie had walked straight in and taken her off guard. Was it the kilt? Was it the close relationship he obviously had with his brother in law and his nephew? Was it the red hair and blue eyes? The mistletoe? She had no idea, but she felt a sense of optimism she hadn’t experienced since … well, since then.

The following day, Claire arrived on the dot of 9 to find the two Jamies had finished breakfast and were carrying their bags from their room at the B&B. 

“Did ye bring the ice cream for Da?” wee Jamie asked immediately.

“I did. I have it in a cooler bag in the boot. A big scoop of every type I had”, Claire assured him. 

Claire was back in her uniform and the cheeky imp couldn’t help himself: “Ye’re back to being the bossy Sassenach Major today then” he smiled.

“I am, so get into the car, do up your safety belt and prepare to see yer Da before you go home cheeky”, Claire grinned. She opened the boot and the two Jamies put their bags in. As wee Jamie jumped into the rear seat, Jamie gently held Claire’s arm: “Thank ye for this. The lad misses having his Da at home. It’s been very special.”

Claire reached up and kissed Jamie gently on his lips: “It has. I’m so glad you came. It’s made a big difference to Ian’s life.”

“And to mine”, Jamie smiled kissing her back.

When they got to the hospital, Claire got the cooler pack of ice creams out of the boot. Wee Jamie insisted on carrying the bag in and sat on the bed next to Ian as they shared the special treat.

Claire and Jamie stood back, watching the father and son enjoy their time together: “What time is your train?” Claire asked.

“We leave Portsmouth at 4.20pm and arrive at Waterloo at 6.24pm. Then we’ll cross London to Euston station. We’ll have something to eat thereabouts and then we can get on the Caledonian sleeper at 10pm”, Jamie told her.

“That’s a long day. How about you stay here as long as possible. I’ll order in some lunch for you to have with Ian and then drive you to the station”, Claire offered. Seeing the look on Jamie’s face, she added: “And it’s no trouble. This is the best therapy for Ian, and I’ll crash your lunch if that’s OK.”

“Sounds wonderful. Thank ye, truly”, he smiled.

“I’ll go and make the arrangements and catch up on my paperwork before the Boxing Day visitors arrive. It’s sure to be frantic and they’ll have a million questions for me. Come to my office if you have any questions”, Claire said running her hand up his arm.

Claire headed off to her office, Jamie watching her as she walked away. He turned back to see Ian beaming at him: “I do think ye rather like the Major Jamie lad.”

Wee Jamie chimed in: “Uncle Jamie and I had dinner at the Major’s last night. They had another Christmas kiss Da, but there was no mistletoe.”

Jamie gaped: “Ye were asleep Jamie lad!”

Wee Jamie smiled back: “I peeped.”

Ian pointed out a playroom to wee Jamie in the far corner of the ward. It was there for the children of any visitors: “Go see if ye like any of the toys” he suggested.

While wee Jamie was rummaging through the toy boxes, Ian looked inquiringly at Jamie: “So, ye’re under the Major’s spell like half the patients at this place eh?”

“I canna recall meeting someone who had me so fascinated. She’s no’ just bonny, she’s kind and funny. I should tell ye that I asked her to come up to _Lallybroch_ with ye when ye finally come home and she said she would. I think it’d be good for ye and Jenny. It’ll take a while to sort out things at home and Jenny’s under a lot of pressure …”

Ian stopped him mid-sentence: “And ye hope she’ll stay?”

“God yes”, Jamie said. “I know she mightn’t, but I really hope she likes it enough to stay. I canna believe I’m saying this after knowing her for 24 hours!”

“Sometimes ye just know Jamie. First moment I saw the pair of ye together, I saw something between ye. I canna explain it, but I saw it, and I felt it. I can vouch for her being a special person and I know ye as well as I know anyone. I hope it works out. Mind ye, she and Jenny are both as strong-minded as one another, that could produce some fireworks!”

The two men laughed as they talked about the family dynamics and Jamie shared a few anecdotes with Ian. Before they knew it, Claire arrived with a tray of lunch. She had arranged for a large tray of various small pizzas, fries and a range of finger foods to be sure to appeal to all tastes, including wee Jamie’s. For dessert, there was carrot cake and ice cream with chocolate topping.

Claire had a rushed lunch with them and then spent a few hours socialising with the patients and visitors, watched by Jamie. He couldn’t keep his eyes off her and she would regularly flit back and touch him on the shoulder before moving on.

At 3.30pm, Claire sat on the bed next to wee Jamie: “We’ll have to go to the station before too long. Is there anything you need to ask me or your Da before you leave?”

Wee Jamie’s mouth fell: “I want to know when Da will come home. Ma misses him too and we need him there.”

Claire watched as Ian’s eyes teared up: “Would it help if I could give you a date for your Da to come home? So you can look forward to it?”

“Yes. When?” wee Jamie said excitedly.

“Well, in my office I have some special calendars. They’re called advent calendars. They are really for Christmas, but we’re going to call them _Da’s Coming Home Calendars_. There is one chocolate for each day and there are 24 chocolates. I’m going to work hard to get your Da home on the day after you eat the last chocolate. And I’ve got four calendars, so there’s one for each of your brothers and sisters too. I’ll give them to your Uncle Jamie for you to take home” Claire told a beaming little boy.

“Well, this is news to me too” Ian said happily.

“Well, Ian Murray, I am going to work you hard to meet that deadline. You’re going to do double the amount of physio and we’re going to get you kitted out with a wheelchair and most of what you need before you leave here” Claire warned Ian.

“Whatever you say Major”, Ian saluted.

“And ye?” Jamie asked. “Ye can come then?”

“I’ve barely had a day away from the Army in years Jamie. They owe me well over a year in holiday and overtime. I won’t be asking for leave I’ll be telling them that I’m bloody well taking it. Anyone who tells me I can’t go on leave should prepare to meet a sticky end”, Claire declared. “After all, I’m the bossy Sassenach Major, am I not?”

Knowing that there was a timetable to get Ian home made everyone cheerful, even though the two Jamies had to leave. After their farewells to Ian, Claire drove them to the station at Portsmouth. 

Jamie took Claire in his arms and thanked her for all she’d done, while wee Jamie covered his eyes with his hands: “If ye’re gonna kiss her again, I dinna want to see.”

“Well, dinna look then” his uncle told him, as he kissed Claire enthusiastically and whispered in her ear: “25 days. I canna wait.”

“Call me when you get home, so I know you’re both safe”, Claire said as they carried their bags on to the train.

She waved until the train was out of sight then returned to the hospital. She had some serious planning to do.


	4. Be prepared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having made the decision to venture north to Scotland, Claire begins to plan for the future.

If there was one thing Claire excelled at, it was planning and organising. When she wanted to get things done, she took no prisoners. After a long day at the hospital, she arrived home, ate a reheated meal and set about planning for the next 3 weeks. By the time she went to bed, her notebook was brimming with details.

It may have been the Christmas holidays in most workplaces, but in a hospital, things continue to happen. When she arrived at work the following morning, she revised the physiotherapy and occupational therapy listings to get Ian prepared to leave, fired off a series of emails to organise an order for a Ministry-funded wheelchair and various other hardware Ian would need, and contacted the Human Resources department to arrange her extended period of leave.

By mid-afternoon, senior officers were knocking on her office door and expressing horror at her intention to take a long period of leave. When Colonel Grey rang her to discuss her plans, she knew that it was being taken seriously.

“Claire, I am concerned about your plans and I hope you won’t mind if I ask you directly – are you unwell? Should I be concerned that you may not return? Please understand that I’m asking out of genuine concern. I mean, I hesitate to use the term ‘replace’ in relation to you as I know that’s not possible”, he said sincerely.

“Thank you, John, but I have been due an extended period of leave for a long time and I’ve decided to spend some time in Scotland. I genuinely have no idea if and when I might return to my duties. I love my job, but it’s become my life and I need to see a little more than the inside of a military hospital before I’m an old lady”, she told him.

It was reasonably rare for officers to use first names, but Claire and John had known one another for years. They had served together in Iraq and John had seen the incredible work she had done with soldiers suffering multiple injuries and psychological scars. She, in turn, had seen the sincere concern he showed for troops under his command. There was genuine respect for one another.

He asked: “Well, can I ask that you take six months leave and then talk to me? I can keep your current position open then, but if you take a year, I’d have to advertise for someone on a permanent basis”, he asked.

“Very well, but don’t be surprised if I decide not to return. Still, I guess it’s always wise to keep my options open. I have loved this job. Six months it is”, Claire conceded.

She had wondered if the Colonel would make this offer and had debated with herself the wisdom of accepting or rejecting the offer if it were made. She really had nothing to lose by accepting it. If Scotland didn’t work out, she could return. Deep down, she didn’t really want to consider that. She needed to see beyond hospital wards and the military establishment.

Next on her list was trading in her sedan for a flexible SUV that could take extra passengers, luggage, a wheelchair and camping equipment with ease. If she was going to take leave, she was going to do it with practical style. She contacted a former patient who was working in a dealership and set the ball rolling.

She was also delighted to receive a text from Jamie: _Home safely. Lots of excitement here at the news of Ian and the chocolate calendars. Can we speak tonight on FaceTime? I want to see you and check that you weren’t someone I dreamed up. Love, Jamie._

She texted back: _Are you that tall, handsome Scot who swept me off my feet? If so, can’t wait to hear from you. I’ll grab some food on the way home and have eaten by 7. Love, Claire._

At exactly 7pm, Jamie was on FaceTime with a beaming smile. She was still smitten by his bright blue eyes: “Sassenach, how’s yer day been?” he asked.

“Busy, as usual. As well as work, I’ve been putting plans in place for me to depart at the same time as Ian. I’m hoping to get a flashy chariot to bring us both north. How have you been?” she asked.

“A wee bit tired but busy clearing out anything that might be in Ian’s way while he’s trying to get about the house. The kids have had their first chocolate from the calendars. It was the only way to get them all in their beds – they’re so excited”, he smiled.

“Well, the little ones have got to get to know Ian again. And to wee Ian he’s just a name”, she smiled.

“Aye, but they’re not just excited about their Da. Wee Jamie has been talking about ye in glowing terms. Ye’ve got a lot to live up to”, Jamie told her.

“Has he mentioned I’m bossy?” Claire laughed.

“He has but he framed it as ‘not as bossy as Ma’, which had Jenny threatening him with her wooden spoon”, Jamie said.

“Anything else I have to live up to?” she asked.

“They think ye’ve got an ice cream factory at yer home. Still, it’ll be that cold when ye get here they might not be too concerned with that. Be sure to have plenty of layers handy as ye come further north Sassenach”, he warned her.

Changing the subject, Jamie asked: “Have ye told the military that you’re taking a year off? How did they take it?”

“Well my friend John, officially Colonel Grey, asked that I take six months leave so that I had the option of returning”, she told him. She watched a frown appear on Jamie’s face. “I said yes, but it’s really more of a formality. At the end of the six months, I can just say ‘I won’t be back’”.

“That’s good, I suppose” he replied half-heartedly. “Ye’re no’ getting cold feet?”

“Jamie, this is a giant leap of faith for me. It’s going to be a big adjustment, but it’s a change I really want to make. Now, have you warned Jenny that it’s going to be a huge change for her too? He doesn’t talk about it much, but I know Ian is pretty anxious about fitting back into the family unit after all that’s happened. He has to find out where he fits in the family jigsaw, given he can’t do a lot of the things he did in the past”, Claire told him.

“I’m not sure she really appreciates how much things have changed for Ian. I guess that will come with time. But she canna wait for him to be home”, Jamie smiled. “And I canna wait for ye to get here.”

They talked a little longer about nothing in particular and agreed that daily FaceTime chats were the way to go.

When Jamie returned to the kitchen, where Jenny, Brian and Ellen were enjoying a quiet cuppa now all the children were in bed, Jenny smiled at Jamie: “So, ye’ve been chatting to the mysterious Major have ye? That woman has got a lot to live up to. Wee Jamie has been telling everyone who stands still long enough about the Sassenach that his uncle Jamie has fallen for. Agnes McSweeney in Broch Mordha asked him why a Scots lass wouldna do and the cheeky monkey told her to “awa’ an’ bile yer heid”. I had to drag him out of the post office by the ear.”

“Out of the mouths of babes”, Brian laughed. “She always was a nosy old busybody. How is Claire, Jamie? Organising Ian?”

“Aye, she was saying it’ll be a big adjustment for him. I’m glad he’ll have her to help him get ready for the change” Jamie told them as he poured himself a cup from the giant pot and grabbed a slice of cake.

“It’s gonna be a big change for all of us. The kids look at the old photos of Ian with both legs and think that’s what they’ll see. I’m glad wee Jamie has seen him, that’ll help to soften the blow. He was telling the girls that “Da has one and a half legs now so he looks a bit lopsided”. The girls looked at him like he’d lost his marbles”, Jenny smiled.

The four adults sat around the table discussing what Ian might and might not be able to do around the property. Ian had been a hard worker around the farm before joining the army and it was important that he be made to feel productive again.

After their chat, Jamie put on a warm jacket and ventured into the self-contained quarters formerly occupied by Mrs Crook, who had been the cook and general help with the family for years. The area had been used for storage since she moved into the same retirement village as her sister. Now he wanted to make a welcome space for Claire. Living with a family of five adults and four children would be a challenge after having her own cottage to herself and he wanted her to feel she could escape the madding crowd and have some privacy – with him.

By the time he fell into bed there was a pile of rubbish and “unlikely to ever be useful” paraphernalia piled into the trailer outside the kitchen door to be disposed of. It was going to take the full 24 days to get it as nice as he wanted it to be.


	5. I Need a New Bum (part I)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is brought to you with the assistance of the Scottish granny (in this case, Ellen).

Claire was like a little girl with a new toy when her auto dealer turned up at the hospital with the SUV of her dreams. He had all the classic dealer spiel: “Single owner, done very few miles for a three-year-old vehicle, immaculate condition, owner desperate to sell so the price has been drastically reduced, vehicle inspection showed no faults” and so on. Turned out it was all true. The late wife of the previous owner had also used a wheelchair and the vehicle had been custom modified to fit it with another 6 seats and a storage rack on the roof. The seats could be folded down to make a bed. The previous owner was heading to Spain to live.

After a test drive, a check of all the paperwork, an agreement on the value of her trade-in and a quick squiz at her savings account, she signed on the dotted line.

Later in the day, after Ian’s physio workout, she wheeled him out to the hospital car park: “This, Ian Murray, is the chariot that will be carrying you home to Scotland” she announced proudly.

“You bought this? It’s a Mercedes isn’t it? That must’ve cost ye a pretty penny! What a beauty”, he exclaimed. “Dinna let the kids get in it. It’ll be smothered in mud in moments.”

Claire laughed: “Less than three weeks now Ian. Jamie tells me the kids are so excited that their nightly chocolate is the only thing that gets them into bed.”

Ian looked pensive: “Do ye think ye’ll like Scotland and being away from working in the hospital? It’s a different world ye’re going to Major.”

“I think I need to do this before I get _too_ stuck in my ways Ian. And having Jamie at the other end is quite a motivator”, she smiled.

“Aye, but ye’ve still to really get to know one another. I know ye both well enough to believe ye’ll make a fine couple but ye’re both taking a risk”, he suggested.

“And joining the army and going to the Middle East _wasn’t_ a risk? If I can survive that and all that happened there, I’ll survive in Scotland”, Claire told him.

“Ye dinna talk much about yer time in Iraq Claire. How bad was it for ye?” Ian asked a little cautiously.

Claire looked at her watch: “Goodness, look at the time! Better get you back for afternoon tea and occupational therapy or I’ll be in trouble.”

Ian had seen Claire do this before – avoid answering questions about her past, particularly her time in Iraq. He knew better than to persist. Claire was an open person most of the time, but there were some things she didn’t discuss and the look on her face shouted, “don’t go there”. In that respect, she and Jamie were very alike.

Over the remaining weeks, Ian was pushed to the limit on more than one occasion. He’d never considered it before his injury but adjusting to a prosthetic leg took time and practice – and a lot of frustration. His prosthetic leg had been weighted to help with balance and it was reasonably flexible. Having to remove it to shower took timing – when to sit, how to dry the leg, putting it back on, getting up without slipping – and he had to remove it before going to bed. 

He joked with the physio about making love with one leg and was surprised when he laughed and replied: “Yep, getting your leg over is going to be a new experience.” After the initial surprise he had _that_ conversation with him: choosing the best positions, being open with your partner, seeking help with any sexual dysfunction. Ian blushed when the physio added: “I hear the Major is going to Scotland too. She knows quite a lot about all this so you can talk to her.”

“I’m no’ with the Major ye know. I have a wife and four bairns”, he clarified.

“Oh sorry, that was a bit personal. But the Major has worked in this field for a long time. I was in Iraq for some of the time she was there”, he told him.

“She doesna talk about it much”, Ian said wondering if the physio might open up.

“No. Most of us don’t I guess but she’s more closed than most. My advice would be direct from John Cleese – “don’t mention the war””, he warned.

While Ian was preparing himself at the hospital, Claire was selecting what to take to Scotland with her and what to put into storage. She had found a tenant for her cottage for six months and was leaving her whitegoods for them, but the items of furniture, books and other things she wanted to keep were to go to a storage facility. She would only take what could comfortably fit in the new vehicle with Ian’s gear.

She was reminded of how long it took to organise the transfer of utilities and a change of address. What a nightmare. Reality hit when she finished packing the SUV and took the spare set of keys to the property manager for the tenants. She and Ian were leaving the next morning. She went to the B&B the two Jamies had stayed at and flopped on the bed, exhausted.

Back at _Lallybroch_ , the Murray children were changing into their pyjamas. Maggie looked at her calendar: “It’s the last choccie. Da will be here tomorrow!” she squealed as she jumped around the room with Kitty. Wee Ian was the last in his pyjamas – Jenny had waited until he had spread his chocolate all over his hands and face and she’d washed it off.

Ellen looked at wee Jamie: “Are ye no’ going to eat yer choccie Jamie?” she asked.

“No, I’m saving it for Da to have tomorrow. He’ll be tired when he gets here. It’s a very long way granny”, wee Jamie told her.

“That’s very kind Jamie lad”, his grandpa said with a proud smile.

Knowing how proud his grandies were of him, he took his opportunity: “Granny, will ye read us _I need a new bum_?” The book was a favourite with the Murray children. The children crowded around Ellen as she read it, doing her best not to giggle and failing miserably. Finally, Jenny got the children into bed and made a pot of tea.

Jamie arrived in the kitchen as the kettle was boiling: “I just put the finishing touches to the flat for Claire. I hope she likes it.”

Jenny was digging into the shortbread tin: “Ye’ve spent so much time in there Jamie. Are we allowed to see it yet?”

“After our tea. Ma and Da can have a look too”, he smiled.

When they’d had their tea and shortbread, the Frasers finally saw the results of his handiwork.

“My word Jamie. This woman must be special to ye. I didna think it possible. Ye’ve made it beautiful”, Ellen sighed.

Jenny crossed her arms and laughed: “I see ye’re planning to spend plenty of time in here too. All yer favourite books lined up on the bottom shelf of the bookcase. Still, ye’ve left all the other shelves for her. She’ll love it mo bràthair. If she doesna, I’m moving in.”

Brian slapped Jamie on the back: “It’s perfect son. Well done.”

Now Jamie had to wait. Claire had sent him her travel plan, allowing for comfort stops. It would take over 8 hours and she would be exhausted. He wouldn’t rest until she and Ian had arrived safely.

The following morning, Claire had breakfast and drove to the hospital to collect Ian. The nursing staff had him washed, dressed and fed. He had a helium balloon for each of the children, a farewell gift from the staff and a smile a mile wide. There was a guard of honour for him and Claire. Colonel Grey, other senior military personnel, nurses, allied health staff and others formed the guard. As he handed a beautifully wrapped gift to Claire, John said quietly: “I hope you come back to us Claire. But above all, I hope you’ll be happy no matter what you decide. Thank you for everything.”

By the time Ian was in the vehicle with his chair and luggage, both he and Claire were in tears: “Never thought I’d cry when I left this place Major but that was some send-off. It’s strange to be out in the big wide world.”

“From now on, it’s Claire. First stop will be Oxford. Get ready for a long journey Ian”, Claire told him as they pulled away from the waving crowd.

It took 1 ½ hours to drive to Oxford. Ian soon realised that being out of hospital and out in the world was going to be a major adjustment. Dying to go to the loo, he and Claire parked in a disabled spot at a suburban shopping centre in Oxford. Most people were sensitive to the needs of someone disabled, but some seemed to be blind to him. Knowing this was Ian’s first venture out of a hospital since his loss, Claire stayed with him as much as possible, but he struggled in the toilet. He emerged looking unsettled and frustrated to a waiting Claire: “Bit of a challenge Ian?” she asked.

“I feel like an alien on the wrong planet”, he said looking peeved.

“I sometimes wonder if that’s how the Iraqi and Syrian refugees feel if they get to another country”, she suggested.

“Good point. At least I speak English”, Ian scoffed.

“Well, sort of”, Claire laughed.

“Awa’ an bile yer heid”, Ian replied.

“See what I mean?” she giggled as he laughed out loud.

Still laughing, they grabbed some food and drink and continued on their way.


	6. I need a new bum (part II)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Needing a new bum becomes a reality for one character.

3 hours later, Claire pulled up in Knaresborough, a market town in North Yorkshire. She had checked in advance that the local pub served lunches and had an easily accessible disabled toilet. Their just-over-halfway stop was a welcome rest before the remainder of the drive. She sent a text to Jamie to let him know all was well. He must have been waiting with his mobile in his hand, she thought, when he fired back a message: _We’re all excited. Canna wait. Drive safely. Love, Jamie._

Knowing that the sun would go down around 4pm, Claire suggested they keep going, stopping only for coffee and a snack at a roadside café. Ian, keen to get home, agreed. Claire helped him recline his seat and put on her headphones so he could rest, and she could concentrate.

As often seems to be the case on a long drive, the last 30 or so minutes seemed like an eternity. As she turned off the road and on to the long drive to _Lallybroch,_ she could see the lights of the house. Jamie had turned on the outside lights to guide her.

Jamie and the children, looking out of the windows at 5-minute intervals, saw the headlights and cheered. As she pulled up outside the door, it flew open and a crowd of excited Frasers and Murrays ran into the night. Ian threw his arms in the air in excitement as the passenger door flew open and three happy children scrambled in to hug him. Jenny stood back, holding wee Ian and trying not to cry. Wee Ian just wanted a balloon. 

Jamie was at the driver’s door ready to help a tired Claire out of the vehicle. They paused briefly to simply smile at one another, until Jamie told her: “I can breathe easy now Sassenach. Ye must be exhausted”. He clung to her as if she might disappear.

“I think I need a new bum”, she told them, wondering why the children laughed so hard. Jamie explained that was their favourite book. “Come and meet Ma and Da. They’re at the front door waiting to welcome ye.”

Claire grabbed her leather jacket and walked up the steps to the front door, where she was embraced by Ellen and then Brian.

“Would ye like a cup of tea and something to eat?” Ellen asked.

“Make it a pot and a plate of anything and I’ll be your best friend forever”, a tired Claire told her.

“I think ye will be anyway”, Ellen replied as she guided Claire towards a huge couch. “Put yer feet up on the ottoman and rest for a wee bit. Ye must be so tired.”

Jamie sat next to her on the couch looking delighted: “I canna believe ye’re here. Those 24 days felt like forever.”

“I will _never_ drive from Portsmouth to Scotland in one day ever again, but that new SUV was brilliant. Ian would never have survived it in my old sedan”, she said squeezing his hand.

“Ian! Oh shit, I didna help Jenny with Ian. I’ll be back in a moment Claire”, Jamie said jumping up just in time to see Brian helping Ian through the front door with the children in pursuit. Ian was so tired, he was struggling to stand up, so Jamie ran outside and grabbed the wheelchair, which he’d seen at the back of the SUV. He rushed back in with it and helped Ian sit down. Ian sighed with relief and smiled at wee Jamie when he placed a chocolate in Ian’s hand: “I saved my last choccie for ye Da. I knew ye’d be tired.”

“Thanks son. It’s great to be home with ye all”, Ian assured him.

Both Claire and Ian sat amidst the excitement of the _Lallybroch_ household, glad to be with people who they loved and were getting to know again. Claire thought a cup of tea never tasted so good, and Ian salivated when eating his first piece of Ellen’s home-made Dundee cake in years.

Ian marvelled at his youngest son and namesake, approaching two years yet not seen in the flesh until today. Jenny placed their youngest child in the highchair next to his Da to give them the chance to get to know one another. She sat on the other side of Ian gently rubbing his arm and not wanting to let go of him ever again. She was also shielding him from the boisterous antics of his older children, who were working off weeks of excitement and showing off to their Da.

After she’d drunk and eaten, Claire leaned on Jamie fighting off the urge to sleep. Eventually she dozed and woke half an hour later with enough energy to stand and be shown the flat Jamie had readied for her.

There was a free-standing wood heater in the cosy open-plan living area that was generating welcome heat. A small but very functional kitchen, a comfortable bedroom and an en suite completed the renovated flat.

“Oh Jamie, it’s beautiful. Did you do _all_ of this?” she asked.

“Aye, I want ye to be happy here Claire and to have a private space where ye can get away from all the noise and hubbub”, he said running his arm around her back.

“And will you be in here being private with me?” she asked with a cheeky grin.

“Well, I rather hoped so”, he said with a broad smile.

“Me too”, she said standing on her tiptoes and kissing him. “I’ve been looking forward to having you all to myself for weeks now.”

“I still don’t understand what happened to make us both so sure that we should be together, but I’ve never doubted it. Ye?” he asked.

“No idea but since I met you, I’ve wanted to be wherever you are”, Claire said. “I think I need to have a shower and get into bed soon or I’ll fall asleep standing up.”

“I’ll fetch yer bags from the car and bring them here. Back soon”, he told her kissing her on her forehead.

When Jamie returned with Claire’s bags, he found her sprawled across the bed fast asleep, her leather jacket on the floor. He quietly put the bags in a corner of the living area, hung up her jacket in the cupboard and grabbed some blankets to cover her. He put some logs in the wood heater and adjusted the damper so it would burn overnight. Claire slept through it all. He leaned across and gently kissed her cheek: “Sleep well Sassenach. I canna wait to show ye around tomorrow.”

As he left the flat, he looked back and smiled. She was finally here, and she had safely delivered Ian.

With four young children in the house, mornings could be frantic. The following morning was bitterly cold, so the children were stationed around the fire in their pyjamas and dressing gowns trying to keep warm while they ate their breakfast. Jenny was helping Ian, so Ellen was busy making drinks and toast for everyone. Jamie grabbed a tray, some tea, toast and porridge and headed to the flat to feed Claire.

He knocked lightly on the door and entered, closing the door firmly behind him. A sleepy Claire was sitting up in bed, bleary eyed but smiling. He could see her bare shoulders above the bedspread.

“Morning. I woke in the night, undressed and climbed into the bed” she smiled. “That wood heater is wonderful. Did you feed it before you went to bed?” she asked.

“Aye. Just as well, it’s wickedly cold this morning. Here’s yer breakfast in bed. I’ll just stoke up the fire” Jamie told her.

He put some more wood on the fire and made to leave: “Come back here Jamie Fraser! Tell me what plans you have for the rest of our lives while I eat breakfast”, Claire said patting the space next to her on the bed.

Jamie sat on the bed next to her and grabbed a piece of toast: “Well, I was planning on taking ye on a trek around the property today, but I’m pretty sure it’ll snow soon so we might just have a day organising things indoors. I’ll just have to brave the elements to feed the livestock.”

“We could spend the day in bed”, Claire grinned raising her eyebrows and giggling.

Jamie blushed a little: “Well, I had considered that possibility Major” he replied.

“We are in a most unusual situation, aren’t we? Most people meet someone, get to know them, perfect their foreplay, bonk madly and then live together. We’re doing everything in one giant step” Claire observed. “Do you find that a bit unnerving?”

“Aye, I suppose I do. I do worry that … well, that you might find I’m not up to scratch”, Jamie said looking down.

“What? You? I think not Jamie. What would make you think such a thing?” Claire said in amazement.

“I’m not sure I want to talk about it right now”, he said quietly. There was a pregnant pause before Claire spoke.

“Take your shirt off”, Claire said moving her breakfast tray to the floor.

“What?” Jamie said in surprise.

“Take your shirt off. I want to see you” she told him.

Somewhat surprised, Jamie stood and took off his jumper and shirt, revealing a well-honed body.

“Well, fair’s fair. You take off yours too”, he replied.

Claire pulled back the bedding: “Don’t need to. I’m not wearing anything” she said looking at him. “Now, take off the rest and get into bed with me.”

“Right now?” Jamie said in disbelief.

“Right now!” she said in her best bossy yet humorous tone.

Jamie rushed to get his shoes and jeans off and got under the covers with her: “Am I dreaming?” he laughed.

“Not yet, but we’ll work on that” she told him. “I’ve been waiting weeks to have you in my bed”, she said as one hand pulled his head towards her and she kissed him. It was a full-bodied kiss, with one leg lifting so that it rested over his hips.

“Oh Christ Claire. You feel wonderful next to me.” His hands ran down her naked body, resting on her hips. One hand found its way between her legs and he gently stroked her vulva. 

Her head swept back in delight as he continued to move his fingers and kiss her neck. She grabbed one shoulder and pulled him towards her: “I want you now” she said breathlessly. “It’s OK. I’m on the pill. Please, please” she begged him.

Jamie laid her on her back and moved over her. She took hold of his swollen penis and guided it into her, then held his buttocks and pulled him into her. Both of them gasped as they experienced their interconnectedness for the first time. Claire’s legs rose and gripped Jamie’s hips as he thrust into her: “Oh Christ Claire. I dinna want to come too quickly” he muttered as he paused.

“Just ride me, don’t worry, just ride me” she begged him. They writhed, kissed and caressed one another until there was a rushing sensation, then sighed and held one another. As they drifted into a sleepy embrace, Claire muttered: “Believe me, you are way more than up to scratch.”


	7. The day of the fohawk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire is the star attraction at Lallybroch.

Claire laid with her head on Jamie’s shoulder, playing with his chest hair, when he said quietly: “Thank ye.”

“For what? Wanting to make love to you?” she whispered in his ear.

“Aye, but also for telling me ye liked it”, he said rolling towards her. “One day, I’ll tell ye all about it, but right now I just want to savour the moment and enjoy being with ye. It was amazing.”

“Mmm … are you going to sleep with me tonight? I mean, breakfast sex is great but falling asleep after sex would be rather nice, I think”, Claire said as she ran her hand down his chest. “Shame to waste such a luscious body” she laughed.

They were smooching when they heard a quiet knock on the door, followed by Ellen scolding one of the children quietly: “Come away from the door ye wee scamp. Claire is having her breakfast. She’ll come out when she’s ready.”

Jamie sighed: “I thought it was too good to last. The kids’ll have a million questions to ask ye and a collection of books ye can read to them. Prepare to be under attack Claire”, Jamie told her as he rose from the bed.

“I’ll have a quick shower then face the onslaught”, Claire said as she too rose from the bed. She sidled up to a naked Jamie: “But I could attack you at any time and drag you in here to meet my insatiable needs. Be warned!”

“And I will happily submit to ye Sassenach”, he smiled as he kissed her and gently spanked her naked bottom. 

Claire disappeared into the bathroom while Jamie dressed and headed to the living room. He was faced with three of the Murray children, wanting to know where Claire was and when she was going to play with them.

“Claire will be out after she’s washed and dressed. Now clean up yer mess so she doesna fall over it”, Jamie told them.

The children immediately picked up their dirty dishes and took them to the kitchen, then tidied up their dirty clothes and toys. Jamie marvelled at how they could do as they were told when they thought there was something in it for them. Claire soon emerged to be surrounded by wee Jamie, Maggie and Kittie, all wanting her to do something with them.

Jamie headed off to feed the livestock, survey the property and check the water troughs. When he returned he was cold to the bone. He removed his jacket and took off his dirty boots, then found Claire in the lounge with the three older Murray children. They were lined up sitting on dining chairs as Claire did her “fancy hairdressing”. Both the girls had quite long hair, so she was braiding theirs. Wee Jamie had been told that he would get a special hairdo as well, but Claire was keeping it a secret. He was getting impatient.

Once the girls’ hair had been finished, they stood back to see what Claire would do with wee Jamie. Uncle Jamie had made himself a large mug of hot coffee and watched on, as Claire told wee Jamie to cover his face with his hands – and not to peep. 

“What are ye going to do Major?” he asked excitedly.

“I’m going to give you a Fohawk”, Claire smiled, winking at Uncle Jamie. “If you don’t like it, we can just wash it out.”

“He doesna like washing his hair. Ma says he’s a wee scunner”, Kitty informed the gathering as Ian and Jenny arrived on the scene and watched. Brian and Ellen were close behind. Claire laughed: “Well, his father loves using that phrase as well. We heard it in the hospital whenever someone was complaining.”

Claire worked with a brush, comb, scissors and hair spray to achieve the promised Fohawk. When she’d finished trimming the back and sides, wee Jamie was allowed to look in the mirror.

“I look cool!” he cried with delight. He rushed out of the lounge room and returned with a pair of children’s sunglasses, strutting around the room like a rock star.

Jenny was delighted to see the children looking so tidy and happy: “Where did ye learn to do hair like that Claire?” she asked.

“I developed the skills at the orphanage in Mosul”, Claire replied as she headed for the kitchen. “I am desperate for a pot of tea.”

Jenny looked at Ian: “Where’s Mosul? And why was Claire in an orphanage?”

“Mosul is a city in Iraq. And Claire tends to disappear whenever her time in Iraq is mentioned. She hasna talked of the orphanage before as far as I know”, Ian replied looking pensive. Nothing more was said.

Jenny pulled out a basket of dress-up clothes for the children to play with, and a mirror so they could admire themselves with their outfits and hairstyles. It kept them occupied for much of the day, which was a welcome change in the icy cold Scottish winter. Claire was the compere for their intermittent fashion shows and Ian, Jenny, Ellen, Brian and Jamie were their audience. Wee Ian was more interested in eating and drinking.

Ellen and Jenny prepared the evening meal while Claire helped the children fold and store the piles of clothes they had used for their show. Claire had to get used to the idea of it being dark at 4 and eating at 5. 

By the time they’d finished their meal, cleaned up and drunk a hot drink, it was time for the children to get ready for bed. Of course, it was entirely predictable that they would want Claire to read to them. They couldn’t agree on a book, so Claire chose one she had brought with her: _There’s a Pharaoh in our bath._

She read the book aloud amidst much laughing and clapping and promised to tell the children about her time in Egypt the following day.

Later, as they readied for bed, Jamie held Claire close: “Ye were a major hit with the bairns today Sassenach. They’ll never let ye rest now and I want to sit in when ye tell them about yer time in Egypt. Ye make my life sound boring” he scoffed.

“I suspect your life has been more stable than mine. You have a lovely family, a beautiful home and a rich history here. I’m a bit of a gypsy, moving from place to place with my Uncle then the military. It all sounds romantic, but it has its pitfalls”, Claire said wistfully.

She removed her jumper, revealing her ivory skin and a black lacy bra. Jamie was transfixed: “Ye’re so beautiful Claire” he said running his hands over her shoulders and breasts.

“Can you take off my bra for me?” she asked with a wicked grin.

“I certainly can” he smiled, unfastening it and throwing it to the floor. He kissed each of her breasts, running his tongue over her nipples. He loved hearing her sigh as she said his name. It was the ultimate turn-on.

“My turn” she said, undoing the belt on his jeans and pulling down the zip. “My my, Jamie Fraser, are you excited?” she teased as she ran her hand inside his pants.

“Oh Christ, when ye touch me my whole body comes alive, Claire. It’s like ye flick a switch.” He pulled Claire’s lacy pants down and lifted her on to the kitchen island bench, then removed his own jeans and pulled her towards him: “Do ye want it here or on the bed?” he asked breathlessly.

“I want you everywhere Jamie, but let’s start here”, she teased as her tongue explored his mouth and he slowly pulled her towards his erect penis.

“Sweet Jesus” he cried out, as Claire’s legs locked around his waist. “I swear I’m in heaven.” His hands gripped her hips as he sank deep inside her. Claire leaned back and pushed against the bench with her hands as her legs tightened on his back. Jamie was groaning with a mixture of excitement and satisfaction, sweat building up on his brow. 

As he began to tire, he lifted Claire from the bench and moved towards the end of the bed, still inside her. Claire’s arms were wrapped around his neck. He carefully sat on the bed and Claire took over the hard work, rising and falling until they climaxed and held one another close. They were both panting from the physical exertion and satisfaction of making love.

When they parted, they both fell on the bed facing one another, smiling and sighing.

Jamie ran one hand down Claire’s cheek and pulled her head towards him: “I have waited my entire life for this Sassenach. To find the woman who could make me feel so loved and happy. It was worth the wait.” 

She nodded: “Somehow I knew you were the right person on that first day we met. I never dreamed you’d feel the same way about me. I’m more than alright Jamie. I am so happy to be here with you that I’m tempted to pinch myself, but I’m frightened I might wake from a dream.”

They climbed into the bed, held one another and reflected on the first day they met.

“I want to tell ye something Sassenach”, Jamie smiled. “I’ve not had an extensive sex life, but I’ve never found anyone I was truly comfortable with. There was always something lacking. It was just meeting a physical need, nothing more. To be honest, it could even be boring. But with ye, I now understand how incredible making love can be. Maybe that’s the difference – having sex and making love are two quite different things.”

“Yes, I understand that. I had a strong feeling that first time we kissed under the mistletoe. It wasn’t just a boring old kiss, it was a prelude to something far more exciting. You brought my entire body to life” she laughed.

“Aye, that’s exactly it. I told Ian I thought a kiss from ye could bring someone back to life” Jamie told her with a wide grin. “When I told ye I was worried I might not be up to scratch, I was worried that I’d never been overjoyed about love-making and there might be something wrong with me.”

“But you just needed to find the right person to make love to?”, Claire added.

“Exactly”, Jamie agreed. “And I never guessed it’d be a bossy Sassenach Major.”

They drifted off to sleep quickly, tired but happy.


	8. Triggers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being home is a big adjustment for Ian Murray and the family.

When Jamie woke it was still dark. It took him a moment to realise it was someone knocking on the door that had woken him. He wrapped a blanket around his waist and opened the door. It was Jenny: “Jamie, I need some help. I dinna know what to do. Ian is acting like a mad man, calling out and thrashing around.”

“I’ll wake Claire”, Jamie said. He ran his hand down Claire’s face to rouse her: “Claire, can ye come see to Ian. Sounds like he’s having nightmares.”

Claire rose and they both dressed hurriedly. Jamie led Claire to the downstairs room that Ian and Jenny were now sleeping in. Jenny was in the doorway, shaking a little and biting her nails: “Should I wake him Claire?” she asked.

“No. I just need a torch if you have one so I can be sure he’s not in any danger of falling out of bed or hurting himself. I don’t want to turn on the light as it might startle him”, Claire replied.

Jamie ran to the kitchen and grabbed a torch. Claire walked slowly around the bed, checking for any obvious problems. Ian was still mumbling and moving his arms erratically.

Claire opened a window a smidge. It was too warm and stuffy in the room, which was causing Ian to sweat. She moved a glass and bottle away from his bedside table and took them into the hall: “Did Ian drink alcohol before going to bed?” she asked Jenny.

“Aye, he asked me to get him a dram, but I think he may have had more than one”, Jenny replied. “Did I do the wrong thing?” she asked anxiously.

“It’s always hard to know what’s right and what’s wrong Jenny”, Claire reassured her. “Every person with PTSD is different. Did he have any alcohol with his medication?”

“I don’t think so but I canna be sure” Jenny replied.

“Jamie, can you take Jenny to the kitchen and make her a hot chocolate or something? I’ll stay here and see if Ian settles down”, Claire asked. “And Jenny, look after yourself. Your family needs you.”

Jamie led Jenny down to the kitchen while Claire sat in the corner of the bedroom in a chair and watched Ian. As the room cooled a little, he stopped sweating and flailing. Eventually, he drifted into a deeper sleep and she quietly left the room.

In the kitchen, Jamie and Jenny were sitting at the large table with mugs of hot chocolate. Jenny had settled down a little and Jamie was doing his best to calm her. Claire put her hand on Jenny’s shoulder: “You did the right thing to wake us. Do you have another bed you can sleep in for a few hours? Ian’s settled now and we can talk about things in the morning. Coming home has been exciting for him but also tiring and we need to get him back into his routine. You’re about to see how bossy I can be”, Claire smiled.

Claire made herself a hot chocolate, assured Jenny that Ian would be alright if a little grumpy in the morning, and then they all hit the sack.

Back in bed, Jamie ran his arm around Claire: “Christ, I’m so glad ye came here with Ian. Not just for me but for Jenny and the family.”

Claire eased her body closer to his: “You will pay with your body!” she laughed.

“And very happy to do so”, he sniggered.

The atmosphere was a little strained in the morning. Jenny was tired but the children weren’t. Ian was living proof that sleep problems can intensify daytime PTSD symptoms. He was grumpy and unable to cope with the noise the children were making. Ellen and Brian took over the children’s breakfast schedule and were clearing the dishes when Jenny strode into the kitchen: “Claire, can ye help Ian get his prosthetic on? He’s like a bear with a sore head in there and I canna do anything right.” She was close to tears.

Claire gulped down her last mouthful of coffee and headed for the bedroom, where Ian had worked himself up into a state of angst: “I’m guessing Jenny sent ye in to sort me out. Well I dinna need yer help.”

Claire crossed her arms: “Ye’re a wee scunner!” she declared, sounding just like him when he was riled.

“Piss off” he replied.

“Get stuffed” she responded.

This exchange of insults continued until even Ian couldn’t help but smile: “I suppose ye might as well give me a hand while ye’re here but I dinna need ye.”

“I don’t need any of your shit either Ian Murray, but I get the feeling that everyone’s going to get some of it today. You do know you frightened the crap out of Jenny last night? That Jamie and I were up in the wee hours because of your sleeping problems?”

“Oh. No, I didna know that”, Ian said looking conciliatory.

“You and I need to sit down today and make a daily plan that everyone can see and follow. You might have left the hospital, but you still need a routine. You can’t just throw your care plan out of the window now you’re home. So, bossy Sassenach Major is about to re-emerge until you get your arse in gear. Got it?” Claire said with her hands on her hips.

“Aye Major” he said with a sigh.

“So, first thing. No wheelchair for a few hours. You need to exercise and adapt. You’re going to walk to your breakfast. I’ll clear the way of children. Follow me” she told him.

As Ian emerged from the bedroom, Claire was in front of him calling to the children: “Make way for your Da. He’s coming through.” The children plastered themselves against the wall, except for wee Ian who was part-walking and part-crawling towards them. Claire whisked him up and put him on her hip: “Including you, young man.”

Ian sat quietly eating his breakfast and looking contrite. As Jenny placed a cup of tea by his plate, he held her hand: “I’m sorry Jenny. Claire tells me I gave ye a fright. We’re going to work to make sure it doesna happen again.”

Jenny ran her arms around his neck and told him quietly: “I know ye didna mean to upset me. I was frightened. It’s good to have ye home.”

That afternoon, while the children watched a cartoon on the television, Claire, Jenny and Ian sat at the dining table. Claire outlined some things that needed to be taken into account, writing them down as she went: “Ian experienced serious sleep disturbances in the hospital, so we need to take that into account in his daytime activities. If he wakes up frequently at night, he’ll suffer from what’s known as maintenance insomnia. That’ll make him even more tired and irritable. Not ideal for family life. So, he needs to have his medication at exactly the same time every day. Morning meds with breakfast and evening meds with dinner. No alcohol whatsoever until we get this settled down, and even then - very little.”

“I thought I could have the odd dram when I got home”, Ian objected. Claire gave him _that_ look. “Aye alright, no alcohol until I’ve settled” Ian conceded reluctantly.

“If you don’t sleep well at night, you’re more likely to nod off during the day. That, in turn, will affect your ability to sleep at night. So, if you drop off, we’ll wake you after 30 minutes. Enough for a nap but not enough to keep you awake later”, she added and put it on the list.

“Daily exercise. You need to walk, even if it’s just around the house, regularly throughout the day otherwise you could be mentally tired but unable to sleep. We also need to get you doing some of the exercises the physio outlined”, Claire told them.

“I threw away the exercise guide” Ian told her grumpily.

“Just as well I’ve got a copy then” Claire said as she poked her tongue out at him. Jenny smiled: “Now I can see where the bossy Sassenach Major tag came from. She’s on yer case Ian and I’m with her after last night.”

“A snack about an hour before bed in case you get hungry in the night, and a small drink like hot chocolate. No alcohol or caffeine” Claire emphasised. “And your last coffee needs to be early afternoon. The half-life of caffeine can be anything up to nine hours.”

Claire continued, listing each of the measures they would be taking. She made a sign to pin up in the kitchen. As Ellen, Brian and Jamie saw it during the day they agreed to abide by it too. “Christ, ye’re all ganging up on me”, Ian complained, adding “but I will need yer help.”

When they were alone, later in the day, Claire asked Ian quietly: “Have you told Jenny what happened the day of your accident?”

“No, I hope I’ll know when it’s the right time. Is there a right time?” he asked.

“Only you can know that Ian”, she replied, squeezing his hand.

By bedtime that night, Ian was tired. Claire checked the room to ensure it wasn’t too hot and put a glass of water by the bed. For some reason sweating at night aggravated PTSD, but also she had often wondered if becoming too hot was a stimulus to people who had served in hot climates. Summers in Iraq were brutally hot.

Ian’s perseverance paid off – he slept through the night. 

The following day was far more settled for everyone. Jamie gave Claire a tour of the house and she waded through the snow that had settled outside to see the area around the house – the barn, stables and wood store with its neatly stacked pile of firewood. She and Jamie had thought that splitting logs might be something Ian could do, but they would need to modify the area so he could do it whilst perched on a bench. They were agreed that it would be good exercise and that Jamie should work with him. The two men were great friends as well as in-laws and Ian needed time with Jamie to talk and re-establish that bond.

They returned to the house to defrost by the fire in the flat, with huge mugs of hot tea with honey. Their space was an important place for them to really get to know one another. Claire showed Jamie a photo album of some of the excavations she’d been involved with alongside her Uncle Lamb in places like Egypt, Jordan and Crete as he sat with his arm around her and kissed her intermittently. There was a comfort with one another that they both enjoyed.


	9. Sticks and stones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you."
> 
> Does anyone actually believe that old adage?

Things went well despite having wintry days largely confined to the house. The snow had largely melted, but it was still very cold. When the children became restless, Claire would talk to them about pyramids, pharaohs, mummies, ancient sites and her childhood. Wee Jamie was amazed when he saw photographs of Claire looking about his age and riding a camel. The girls enjoyed it when Claire taught them how to _Walk like an Egyptian._

Claire found the _National Museums of Scotland_ web site and the Egyptian artefacts in their collection. Wee Jamie told her he wanted to go there for his birthday and Claire told him she would keep that in mind. 

When she tired of their constant questions, Claire found some YouTube videos of the life of King Tut and the children watched quietly.

Jamie and Ian were working on the firewood stack. It took Ian a while to find the best techniques with Jamie’s help, but they worked out a system which allowed Ian to participate. He tired easily but was pleased to feel productive and to share time with Jamie.

“So, ye and Claire seem to have settled into a relationship together. Are ye happy Jamie?” Ian asked.

Jamie looked at him with a thoughtful smile: “I canna believe how easy it is to be with her. I’ve never really felt that comfortable with any woman I’ve met. I feel like I’ve found the love of my life and a best friend rolled in one. Do ye think I could be that lucky?” he asked.

“I’ve never seen ye with a woman who made ye so happy before Jamie and in all the time I was in the hospital I never saw her as relaxed and happy as she is here with ye. Shame I had to lose half a leg for ye to meet her eh?” Ian laughed.

Jamie looked at Ian, realising that was the first time Ian had laughed aloud since he got home, and the first time he’d directly referred to the loss of part of his leg. “Aye, thanks for taking one for the team Murray”, he replied.:

Jamie was expecting something to fly through the air in his general direction, but Ian was deep in thought: “Do ye think Jenny finds it hard to look at me now?” he asked.

“She said it was good that wee Jamie had seen ye before ye got home. He prepared everyone for ye having one a half legs and “looking lopsided”, as he put it. I think maybe it was good for Jenny too. It helped to ready her for the reality of the situation. I know how hard it was for her when she first heard about yer accident. She was already pregnant, she couldna see ye as ye were stuck in Iraq and then Portsmouth. I think the photos Claire sent when ye were in Portsmouth hit her hard, but she needed to see that things had changed. Mostly she was celebrating that ye were still alive Ian. She wasna sure you’d see her or the children again.”

A wide smile came over Ian’s face: “Wee Ian is a braw lad. It’s funny that ye can love a child ye’ve never even met. Thanks for sending all the photos of Jenny and the children Jamie, and for looking after them while I couldn’t.”

Jamie slapped him on the shoulder: “That’s what family and friends are for. I know ye’d have done the same for me.”

Despite being in the barn and well dressed for the cold, the two men eventually gave in to the cold and Jamie helped Ian back to the house. Another hour and it would be sunset anyway.

As they removed their layers, Ellen made several pots of tea and gave the children warm chocolate drinks and biscuits. She was pouring the tea into mugs when Jenny appeared: “Ye lads must be frozen. I’ll make ye both a hot toddy.” She grabbed a large bottle of whisky and the rest of the ingredients.

Claire was watching on as Jenny poured one, two and then three shots of whisky in each glass: “Jenny, you need to go easy on the alcohol. Ian mightn’t sleep well tonight if he drinks …”

Claire wasn’t able to finish her sentence before Jenny flew at her: “Ye know, _Major_ , I’m a wee bit sick of ye telling me what _my_ husband should and shouldn’t do. Ian’s been home awhile now and sleeping like a babe. _I’ll decide_ what he can and can’t do. I’ve lived in this house all my life and ye’re just a guest. I’ll thank ye to butt out.”

There was silence at first as all eyes moved from Jenny to Claire. “Well, if I’m a guest I suppose there’s an expectation that I’ll be leaving some time soon. Seeing as you’ve made me feel so unwelcome Jenny, it might as well be now.” Claire rose and headed for the flat, biting her tongue despite the temptation to scream and swear. The children were in the same room. Jamie wasn’t as controlled as she.

“I’ve lived in this house my entire life as well, _Janet_ , and if the woman I love isna welcome here then neither am I”, he shouted. “Ye couldna keep yer mouth shut could ye? Claire’s done everything possible to fit in here but no, ye just had to show her that Jenny Murray rules the roost, didn’t ye? Christ, ye can try running this place on yer own. If Claire’s going, I’m going too”, he added as he stomped towards the flat.

When he opened the door to the flat, he saw Claire seething and packing a bag. He shut the door behind him: “Claire, please tell me ye’re not going back to Portsmouth. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right.”

“Jamie, I need to get out of here now before I say something I’ll regret. I’ve no wish to lose my temper in front of your family and right now I’m feeling like a stranger in their midst. I’m going to drive to Edinburgh and stay there overnight so I can have time and quiet to think”, she said shaking with emotion.

“Then I’m coming with ye. I’ll get a change of clothes”, he said grabbing them from the cupboard in the bedroom. 

“Are you sure Jamie?” she asked, looking up from her packing. “I don’t want to come between you and your family.”

“It’s Jenny who’s caused any ill feeling Sassenach. She never was one to choose her words carefully. She just flies off the handle and makes people uncomfortable. Well, she’s gone too far this time” he replied.

Jamie moved towards Claire, gently pulling her head to his chest: “Now I’ve found ye, I’m not letting ye go. A night or two on our own is just what we need. God knows, we’ve had little enough time to just enjoy one another without being surrounded by my family. I love ye Claire and if ye go, I go.”

Neither of them had ever said _those three words_ to one another before. Claire melted in his arms: “I love you too Jamie, which is why I bit my tongue. If I’d said what I felt like saying, there would have been no going back. Besides which, the children would have remembered every swear word that came out of my mouth”, she smiled.

“Come on Sassenach. Let’s go. It’ll be night by the time we get to Edinburgh and we need to find somewhere to stay the night, besides which I could eat a horse”, Jamie told her. He kissed the top of her head: “No matter what we decide, we’ll be together. I promise.”

They emerged from the flat with their bags, watched by the eyes of the Frasers and Murrays. Jamie looked at them stony faced: “Claire and I are off to Edinburgh. I’ll let ye know when we’ll be back.”

Brian, Ellen and Ian nodded at him. Jenny was looking away, pretending to be busy at the stove. The children looked confused. Claire and Jamie put their bags in the car and headed for Edinburgh.

As they drove, Jamie opened up to Claire: “It’s always been a wee bit like that between me and Janet. I suppose I’ve grown up with it and grown accustomed to her ways, but when she spoke to ye like that I felt a fire in my chest.”

“Do you only call her Janet when you’re annoyed?” Claire grinned.

“Aye, I suppose I do. Ma and Da are the same. Did ye hear what I said to her?”

“I did. It would have been difficult not to”, Claire replied. “Thank you for being my knight in shining armour. I’m not usually the damsel in distress type.”

“Ye did well not to knock her head off her shoulders. Anyway, let’s enjoy our time alone Sassenach. I think I’ll have to make ye scream with delight tonight, seeing as only strangers will be able to hear ye”, he laughed.

“I’ll keep you to that. We’re going to stay somewhere magnificent. I’m on leave with full pay and I haven’t spent much in a while. Let’s get pissed together”, she suggested.

“Do ye want a nice hotel or an apartment?” he asked.

“Oh, an apartment would be lovely. We could walk around and eat in the nude without a care in the world”, she smiled.

“There’s a place in St Andrew Square that Ma and Da stayed in once. I think it’s called _The Edinburgh Grand._ Let’s try there”, he suggested.

As Claire drove, Jamie rang to ask if they had any vacant apartments – they did. They arrived, parked the car, looked at two apartments and chose one with a large spa. “It’s a minimum stay of two nights”, the clerk told them.

“Then we’ll be here for two nights”, Jamie told them.

As they carried their bags up to the apartment, Jamie whispered to Claire. “They have a restaurant, or they can do room service so we can eat dinner in the nude.”

“Make sure they have large serviettes in case you spill something hot on your … well, you know”, she laughed.


	10. Humble pie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenny's outburst has cast a pall over Lallybroch and it's residents.

Back at Lallybroch, it would have been possible to cut the air with a knife. Jenny worked on making the children’s dinner in silence while Ellen asked them to choose a book she could read to them. The children could sense something was wrong and Maggie became upset: “Will Claire be back to do our hair tomorrow?” she asked. Jenny snapped at her and she burst into tears, prompting Kitty to cry too. Ian held his head in his hands, looking upset.

It was wee Jamie that took Jenny to task: “Ma, why were ye so nasty to the Major? Did she do something wrong? Uncle Jamie didna like it.”

Jenny turned and gave him a look which Brian knew meant trouble, so he took his grandson’s hand: “Come with me lad. We’ll go upstairs and make sure the heater’s on in yer bedroom.” 

Ellen got a hairbrush and brushed the two girls’ hair, quietly reassuring them. Once their dinner was ready, the four children ate and went to bed. Jenny then served up dinner for the four adults, who ate in near silence. Finally, Ian asked Ellen to check the children were asleep. She checked the little ones in their beds and returned: “Aye, they’re all fine.”

“Good. I need to tell ye something I dinna want them to hear”, Ian told them.

Jenny got up to clear the dishes: “Sit down Jenny. I’ve something to say.”

“But I need to get …” she began.

“Sit down now. It’s important”, Ian insisted, the tone of his voice leaving no doubt that he was not to be ignored.

Jenny, Ellen and Brian sat quietly watching Ian as he began: “When I was in Iraq, there were a great many people who were left with next to nothing. Some of them moved into the city because their villages had been destroyed – bombed, burned to the ground. Some to escape the mass killings. There were so many children who had the clothes they stood up in and little else. We’d collect anything we could and make balls for them to play with. Plastic bags full of soft rubbish and bound wi’ tape for them to kick around. Sometimes we’d fashion a piece of wood into a rough doll for the wee girls. They were so grateful for anything they could call their own. It broke my heart to watch them trying to scrape together some sort of life.” He wiped a few tears from his cheeks.

“The day of my accident, I was watching some young lads playing football with one of the balls we’d made for them. One of the boys picked up the ball and threw it. It landed in a fenced-off area a long way off, carried by the wind. A wee lad about the same age as wee Jamie ran towards the area. It was fenced off, but he was determined to get that precious ball back. He pulled the fencing up and crawled underneath. I ran over to try and stop him, but he was too fast. He ran into an area of land mines and I ran after him, not thinking of anything but stopping him. There were two explosions – the first one blew him to pieces and the second blew off the bottom half of my leg. In my nightmares, that’s what I see. The same thing, night after night. I see it and I feel it, over and over again.”

He continued as Jenny, Ellen and Brian wiped their eyes but remained silent.

“I canna describe the pain I was in. They had to remove me carefully from the mine field and get me to the military hospital. They gave me enough injections to knock me out, but as soon as those drugs began wearing off, I was screaming for more. Looking back, I can recall asking if the only way to stop the pain was to kill me. Death had to be preferable, I thought.

It was weeks before they could stabilise me enough to get me out of Iraq. It felt like one long, continuous day of torture. Every time I moved I was in agony. By the time I got to Portsmouth, I didna care whether I lived or died. But I do have one vivid memory of someone squeezing my hand and saying: _I know ye feel like shit Ian Murray but I promise you that you’ll get home and see your family and that you’ll walk into your home smiling. Tell yourself that again and again because it will happen. We’re here to make sure of that._

I found out later that the person was Major Claire Beauchamp. She checked on every patient in those wards every day. She knew their personal circumstances and their deepest fears. She’d encourage us every day and knock us into shape if we lost sight of our goals. She supported our families too. I didna know what day it was most of the time, but as I slowly got better I realised that she came into the hospital seven days a week without fail to make sure she’d checked on us and spoken to each one of us. She’d spend longer with me because she knew that my family were so far away. She’d make me hot drinks and sit and chat with me. I’d dictate some of the letters to ye early in the time there and she’d write them up for me, and she’d read the replies if I was feeling too sick to sit up. She stuck yer photos where I could see them when I was lying down. I'd stare at them for hours. There wasn't much else I could do.

I watched as some of the other patients had hallucinations and panic attacks, screaming and hitting out, and she was always there. Sometimes she’d put herself in danger, I thought, but she never failed to support her patients and her staff.

In my darkest moments, I told her that I couldna face coming home. I left a whole man and I would return maimed for life. I asked her if my family would get a full pension or some sort of compensation if I killed myself. She sat down and said to me, calm as ye like: _This isn’t just about you Ian. You have a wife you love and beautiful children. I’ve seen how you look at the photos of them. They need you and you need them. If you choose to leave this life your pain may be over, but theirs will last forever. They would always wonder ‘what if he’d come home’? If they were here now, what would you tell them?_

I said: _I’d tell them that I love them._

Well, she told me to remember that every time I doubted my will to live and finally, I began to believe I could face the future. When the two Jamies walked into that hospital, I knew I wanted to be here. She was right, I did walk back in this house and I was smiling at the sight of ye all.”

He stopped and looked at Jenny: “That’s the woman ye just told to butt out and I canna describe how sad - maybe even ashamed - I am that she was made to feel unwelcome in this house. Jamie loves Claire and they both deserve better than that. I’m going to bed now.”

Ian rose and slowly made his way to the bedroom, leaving Jenny and her parents stunned. It was some minutes before Brian rose from his chair and spoke: “And we’d all do well to remember that it was Jamie who did almost everything that needed to be done on this property for years, mostly alone. If he leaves to be with Claire, we couldna manage. And after tonight, I wouldna blame him if he did. I’m going to bed to think on what Ian told us. Goodnight.”

Jenny was left alone with Ellen: “Ma, I dinna know what to do.”

“Janet, these past few years have been so hard, especially on ye with the children. Remember that they’ve been hard on all of us. Jamie put his life on hold for us and now he’s found Claire. I’ve never seen him so happy and she has done everything possible to fit in here. Ye never were fond of humble pie, but ye might need to eat some over this because what you did and said was cruel. I’ll make ye a hot drink and then I’m going to bed too”, Ellen replied.

Ellen made Jenny a hot chocolate and kissed her on the cheek: “Time to put yer thinking cap on, my dear. Goodnight.”

Jenny was left alone to consider all that had happened. Her head was spinning with all that Ian had told them. There was a slight chill descending and she realised no-one had built up the large fire that burned constantly in the living area during the winter months. Jamie always did it. She went to the box by the front door, where the split wood was stacked. There were only a few small pieces there. It was another job that Jamie had always done, but now Jamie wasn’t there she had to put on her boots and coat to go to the barn, where Ian and Jamie had neatly stacked a large supply of firewood.

As she wheelbarrowed a load of firewood towards the house, she looked around at the machinery shed, full of farm equipment that Jamie kept in working order, the fencing that he repaired in time for winter and the livestock in the field close by that he tended. All things she had taken for granted as she grappled with being a mother of four with a sick husband. She would never have coped without the support of Jamie and her parents, and Ian might not have returned at all if it hadn’t been for Claire. It was food for thought. Humble pie, as Ellen said.

It was no coincidence that it turned into a long, restless night. Ian had forgotten to take his medication with dinner. Even worse, he’d drunk the hot toddy that Jenny had made for him with the generous helping of whisky. His nightmares were the worst he’d had in some time and Jenny eventually moved to the spare bed next to wee Ian, but sleep eluded her. Her mind was constantly churning with what Ian had said to her, and what she’d said to Claire.

The following day was a nightmare of sorts. The children were fractious, Ian’s PTSD kicked in with a vengeance and everyone was on tenterhooks. What had been a happy homecoming was morphing into a difficult time of introspection.


	11. A way forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Frasers and Murrays need to find a way to resolve the conflict with the help of Claire.

In Edinburgh, Jamie and Claire had eaten a sumptuous dinner in their apartment and were enjoying the large spa, just large enough for them to enjoy together. They were finishing off the last of the bottle of wine they’d ordered with their meal and feeling relaxed.

“I canna remember being so comfortable and indulged before in my life”, Jamie told Claire. He was lying in the spa, his legs tangled with Claire’s. He had a wine in one hand and the other hand on her breast.

“I’m just thinking about that huge bed that’s waiting for us”, Claire sniggered. She kissed him, rose from the hot water and wrapped a towel around herself. Jamie followed her and, once dried, they lay on the bed together. The bed was large enough for them to spreadeagle across it. Claire had her eyes closed when she felt Jamie gently caressing her between her open legs. She opened her eyes to see him propped up on one arm, looking adoringly at her face as it contorted. 

She could feel her head spin as he fondled her, gently kissing her face: “Jamie, please. I want you inside me” she begged.

“Not yet Sassenach. I want to watch ye”, he whispered.

She writhed and sighed as his dextrous fingers explored her.. He waited until she was practically squealing his name and then entered her with force.

“God Claire, ye were so eager for me. I love that. Scream my name” he told her. As she called out his name, he entered her hard and then withdrew. “Scream it again” he insisted, which she did. So it continued, each time becoming louder. When he finally came, Claire was in a state of ecstasy, so dizzy she was practically unable to speak. When Jamie asked her if she was alright, she just nodded and rolled towards him.

It was some minutes before Claire looked at him and smiled: “You bastard.”

Jamie laughed: “And why am I a bastard Major?”

“Not quite up to scratch, you said. You knew you were brilliant all along. Fishing for compliments, were you?” she said poking him in the chest.

Jamie’s face became a little more serious as he held her tight: “Only because of ye Claire. Ye are my master and I am yours. Only with ye.”

Sleep descended on both of them. A contented sleep.

The following morning, they decided to walk towards Edinburgh Castle, stopping for breakfast along the way. Determined to improve her knowledge of Scotland, Claire let Jamie order. A huge plate of bacon, baked beans, black pudding, haggis, tattie scones, fried tomatoes, mushrooms and toast was placed in front of her.

“Jamie, this could feed me for the entire day!” she exclaimed.

“I’ll eat anything ye canna manage”, he smiled as he tucked in. “And then we’ll walk it off.”

Jamie found that spending the day walking around Edinburgh with Claire was like seeing the city for the first time. So many places that Jamie had walked past numerous times were sources of fascination for Claire. The Old Town had her spellbound. He enjoyed her enthusiasm and the affectionate way she held his arm as they walked. They stopped for a light lunch of Scottish Mince Pie with boiled parsley potatoes and carrots then, as the light began to fall, strolled back to their apartment.

Sitting sipping coffee in the apartment, Jamie brought up the inevitable: “Tonight’s our second night Sassenach. I need to get back to do some jobs on the farm. How do ye feel about facing up to Jenny?”

“I’ve had a chance to calm down now. It was always going to be hard for Jenny to accept that Ian will never be the same man he was when he left. I guess we’ll just have to see how it works out”, Claire replied.

“Claire, whatever happens ye and I will be together. If that means ye want to go back to Portsmouth, then I’m coming with ye”, Jamie told her.

“Jamie, your family couldn’t manage _Lallybroch_ without you. What on earth would they do?” Claire said, looking concerned.

“Well, they need to consider that. I’m no’ Jenny’s slave. No-one else would’ve made the effort ye did to fit in with the family and now the family will have to think about what they’re going to do. They know ye have a home in Portsmouth and a job ye could return to. Now they need to understand that if ye go, I’ll be leaving with ye”, Jamie said emphatically.

Claire rose from her chair and ran her arm around Jamie’s shoulders: “Jamie, I don’t want it to come to that. Taking you away from your family, your home, everything you know – that wasn’t on the agenda at all”, she said kissing him.

“Aye, I know but I think I need to make a stand Sassenach. It would likely have happened anyway but falling in love with ye just sped it up. Everyone’s been holding their breath until Ian came home, and now we have to look to the future. My future is with ye Claire”, Jamie reassured her.

Jamie rang Brian to let him know that he and Claire would be home the following day. Brian said very little other than a quiet: “I hope Claire is alright. Please tell her we miss her. I’ll let everyone know.”

They decided to order room service for dinner again. Jamie was ready to eat a large meal, but Claire wasn’t as hungry. When they’d eaten, they enjoyed the spa bath again and then fell into bed. Gentle love-making, followed by the remains of a bottle of wine and smooching, left them tired and they slept well before facing the return to _Lallybroch._

The following morning – bags packed, and breakfast eaten – they jumped into the SUV. Jamie wanted to get back to the farm in time to feed and check the livestock and boundaries. As they pulled up in front of the house, Jamie put his hand on Claire’s arm: “Remember Claire, we’re in this together” he smiled.

They took their bags from the car and walked through the front door. The tension was palpable. Ellen greeted them: “Welcome home. Go into yer flat and Brian and I will join ye there shortly. Brian has lit the fire and I’ll bring ye hot drinks” she said quietly, squeezing Claire’s arm.

“I’ve a feeling that things have been stressful here Sassenach. No doubt we’re about to find out”, Jamie said looking apprehensive.

The flat was cosy and warm, and in no time Brian and Ellen had arrived with a tray of hot drinks. They settled down at the table. Brian began: “Claire, we're delighted to see ye. Thank ye for giving us another chance. I’ll cut to the chase. After ye’d left Ian told us about what happened in Iraq and Jenny’s been very jittery ever since. He told her off for making ye feel unwelcome Claire and made no secret of the fact that ye were an important part of his recovery. Jenny didna know what to say or do.”

Ellen continued: “She’s been on edge with the bairns. Right now, wee Jamie is in his room for back chatting her and the girls are teary. I don’t know how we can break the cycle.”

“What’s Ian been doing?” Jamie asked.

“He spends a lot of time in bed. Comes out for meals but spends a lot of time alone reading” Brian replied.

“Well, that’s a recipe for depression”, Claire responded. “We’ll have to put our heads together to come up with something to break the cycle.”

The four of them sat in silence, sipping their drinks. After a while, Claire asked: ““When was the last time Jenny got away from here for a break?”

The three Frasers looked at one another: “Not for years. I think maybe when wee Jamie was a baby. Other than that, the furthest she’s been is Broch Mordha”, Ellen suggested. “Aye, that’d be right”, Brian agreed.

Jamie smiled: “She’s either been pregnant or handling a wee one for years. I can barely remember her without a child.”

Claire looked thoughtful: “And Ian’s been in Iraq, a hospital in Portsmouth and then home. Hardly relaxing. I think they both need a change of scenery and a chance to re-establish their marriage and ideally that means away from the children, or at least most of them. What do you think?”

Brian nodded in agreement: “That would mean we’d have to step in as babysitters for a week maybe.”

Ellen nudged him: “We’re that now.”

Jamie said: “Well, I’m in. The alternative is to live with Janet being a pain in the arse so as far as I’m concerned there’s no choice in the matter. If things become too difficult for Claire, I’ll be leaving with her. So, we’re agreed. Where could they go?”

Claire’s mind had been racing: “Well, if we could find a small cottage by the beach not too far from here, they’d know that we can bring the children to see them if they get cranky. I can take them there in my SUV with the wheelchair and all the groceries they need, and they can contact us if they need us.”

The brainstorming continued so they could put a united front to Ian and Jenny. It was agreed that they would put their proposal to them that evening, after all the children were asleep. It was also agreed that they _wouldn’t_ take no for an answer. They’d negotiate, but Ian and Jenny were going to have a holiday together.

While Jamie and Brian did some jobs outside, Claire and Ellen slaved over a hot computer looking for possible locations and came up with three places that looked suitable. That gave Jenny and Ian the element of choice. Each place had a spare bedroom in case they wanted to take wee Ian, as he was still establishing a relationship with his father. They also came up with a list of things the other children might like to do. The National Museum’s Egyptian display was on the list.

When their plan was complete, Claire printed out some details of the places they’d found ready to present to the Murrays.

Jenny did her best to avoid Claire as much as possible. She still had no idea how to broach the subject of her rudeness and, as Ellen said, humble pie didn’t come easily to Jenny. When it came time for the evening meal, Jamie encouraged Ian to come to the table and they ate as a family. The children insisted on Claire reading to them and then they went to bed.

When Ellen put the proposal to Ian and Jenny, their initial reaction was to reject it. It was Brian who said firmly: “The only choice we’re giving ye is _where_ ye go. Ye need time together as a couple. Ye’ve both been through your own versions of hell and ye both need to find yer way again - together. Claire’s offered to drive ye to one of these places with yer wheelchair, all the groceries ye need and wee Ian if ye wish to take him. We’ll take care of the others. So, choose … or we’ll choose for ye.”

Jenny looked shocked: “Claire, ye’d do that for us despite the way I spoke to ye?”

“Of course I would. I know exactly what Ian’s been through and I can only imagine how difficult it’s been for you. It took me a while to re-establish myself when I got back from Iraq and that’s what both of you are facing with four children. We just want to help you do that”, Claire replied.

They watched as Jenny’s hand covered her mouth and the tears began to flow: “I’ve been dreading opening my mouth to ye again Claire. I’m so ashamed of the way I spoke to ye and then Ian telling us all ye’d done. I felt like such a wee galla.”

Claire looked confused until Jamie grinned and told her: “That’s a wee bitch Sassenach, and I’m not going to argue with ye on that Janet.” It was enough to break the tension.

Ian had been looking thoughtful but finally agreed: “Ye’re right. We do need to re-establish ourselves as a couple. I’d like to take wee Ian so I can get to know him better. Are ye sure ye can cope with the others?”

Claire read out the list of activities they had considered for wee Jamie, Maggie and Kitty and Jenny slapped Ian on the arm: “Christ, they’ll want us to go away more often! They willna miss us at all. Thank ye. We’re so lucky to have ye all.” She rose from her chair and hugged them all. The longest hug was reserved for Claire: “I need to talk to ye in private” she whispered.


	12. Peachy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenny confides in Claire.
> 
> (This draft, just placed in AO3, somehow managed to post itself. I have no idea how!)

While Jamie talked to Ian about what jobs they might do together, Claire and Jenny disappeared into the flat.

“Claire, I need to tell ye that I finally realised I was jealous of ye. It seems ye know Ian better than me these days and the children adore ye too. The way I spoke to ye was wrong and I know that I upset Jamie too, after all he’s done for me and the family. Ma told me I need to eat humble pie over it, and she was right. I’m sorry, especially after all the help ye’ve given us. But that’s not the only thing I _really_ wanted to talk about”, she paused and looked down, “Can I talk to ye about intimacy with Ian.”

“Jenny, Ian adores you. He spoke of you all the time while in hospital and I know he spoke to a male physio about ‘getting his leg over’” Claire smiled.

Jenny snorted with laughter and blushed: “Aye, well he’s only got the one so there’s not a lot of choice is there? We’re both as nervous as the first time we shared a bed though and I know I need to lead the way but it’s hard to know if I’m going to cause him any pain. I thought with ye working in the hospital with so many badly injured people, ye might have some ideas?”

Claire moved to the wardrobe and rummaged in a box, producing a book which she handed to Jenny: _The Amputee’s Guide to Sex._

“Christ, people write _books_ about this?” Jenny said in surprise.

“Interesting illustrations too”, Claire giggled. “It’s a popular topic of discussion at the hospital in Portsmouth but partners need to be open about it too. Could make good holiday reading and practice” she winked. Then she went to her computer and entered in _YouTube –_ ‘Sex for amputees’. Jenny chortled when she saw a number of videos appear. Claire selected one and the two women sat there watching the video and giggling: “Oh. My. God. Did they just do that? They did!” Jenny squealed.

Jamie and Ian were just outside the flat and heard Claire and Jenny laughing: “What on earth is going in there?” Ian said nudging Jamie. Jamie knocked on the door and the two men entered. Claire closed her computer quickly, then she and Jenny flopped on the couch laughing.

When they’d settled down, Jenny took a firm hold of the book Claire had given her and took Ian by the hand: “Come to bed Ian. I’m going to read ye a story” she said winking at Claire. Jamie closed the door behind them.

“What the hell was all that about?” Jamie asked Claire, who was still giggling.

Claire opened her computer and played the video to Jamie, who sat on the couch with his mouth agape: “I’ll never be able to unsee that Sassenach. Not if I live a thousand years. Christ, it’s amputee soft porn!”

Claire laid her head on his shoulder: “I just gave Jenny a book titled _The Amputee’s Guide to Sex._ Graphic illustrations. That’s what she’s reading to Ian tonight.”

Jamie threw his head back and laughed aloud: “He willna be able to wipe the smile off his face tomorrow. He and I are gonna work in the machinery shed. Better prepare myself for some interesting man chat.”

As they readied for bed, Jamie kissed Claire on her forehead: “Thanks for today. What ye offered to do for Jenny and Ian was beyond kind after she was so rude to ye.”

“I did it for them but also for us Jamie. I’ve been thinking, if I’m going to be part of this family, I have to be magnanimous and show that I’m in for the long haul. I need to show that I love everything about you”, she said kissing his shoulder.

“I love ye Claire”, he told her as he held her. A broad smile engulged his face. “Do you think the position on that video is possible for someone with _two_ legs?”

She pushed him on to the bed: “Let’s give it a try!” 

Claire fell on the bed next to Jamie and they giggled as they thought of the calisthenics involved. After a minute or two, Jamie held her and said quietly: “Seriously, Ian and Jenny need this holiday to develop a new understanding of one another. I canna imagine what this change means to them. They’ve known one another for so long and now they almost need to start over.”

“A lot of relationships don’t make it Jamie. So many of the people I knew in Iraq had real difficulty adjusting when they returned to their homes. They’d changed and other people they knew had moved on with their lives. Then there were the others who didn’t get home at all. When you go to the military careers talks, no one talks about that”, Claire said looking distant.

“Sassenach, how did ye cope? How difficult was it for you?” Jamie asked quietly. “Can ye talk about it?”

“Well, after I left Iraq, I went to Portsmouth and some of the people there I knew from my time in Iraq. I suppose that sort of cushioned the blow, but I needed to get away from all that. In a way, I only left Iraq when I came to Scotland. It was a big move but having you to come to has made it all worthwhile. I suppose I still have a link in a way, because of Ian and his adjustments.” She reached over and kissed him: “Thank you.”

“What for?” Jamie asked.

“For being everything I thought you would be and more. I’m a lucky girl”, she smiled.

“We were meant to be Claire. Now, get your clothes off so I can run my lips over that body. It’s been too long since I’ve tasted ye” Jamie said running his hands under her jumper and lifting it over her head.

Claire laughed as Jamie began at her breasts and worked his way down her body, kissing her as he went: “What do I taste of?”

“Ye start off sort of floral but as I work my way down to here”, he said as he reached her pubic area, you taste of pure _lust_ ”.

“Really?” she chuckled. “And what does lust taste like?”

Like dark, spicy chocolate until ye reach the ripe peach”, he replied as his tongue met her clitoris. His hands firmly held her hips as his tongue stimulated what felt like every nerve in her body. She had one hand running through his red hair and the other was clinging to the pillow as she held her breath. When she did exhale, it was a deep sigh.

“Roll over”, Jamie told her. She was already well lubricated, and Jamie entered her easily whilst kissing her shoulders and holding one breast. He muttered in her ear: “Does it ever stop? The wanting ye?”

“God, I hope not”, Claire muttered into the bedding. Thoroughly sated, they slept soundly.

The household was more relaxed the next morning. Somehow the children sensed that things had settled down and relationships were back on a more even keel. It was Claire’s turn to squeeze into the cubby for morning tea with the girls and then push each of the children in turn on the swing. Jamie was busy drenching the sheep with Brian and Ian’s help. Although he was limited in what he could do, Ian enjoyed being a part of farm chores again. Above all, he enjoyed the camaraderie of being with Jamie and Brian.

That evening, when the children were in bed, Jenny and Ian spent some time looking at the holiday cottages that had been short-listed while Claire and Ellen cleared the table. “It’s good to see them looking forward to something they can enjoy together isn’t it?” Ellen said prodding Claire. “Your idea of a holiday was a good one. Jenny’s been a nervous wreck since she first heard of Ian’s accident. I hope she can relax again.”

“What about you and Brian?” Claire asked as she put the cutlery back in the drawer. “You deserve a break too Ellen. Jenny and the children would have been lost without you.”

“I havena had time to think about it Claire. Maybe when things have settled down again, we can have a wee break. I’ll give it some thought”, Ellen smiled. “I can see Jamie enjoyed having time alone with ye” she winked.

“We had a wonderful time” Claire blushed. “I’d like to spend some more time in Edinburgh and the rest of Scotland. It’s such a beautiful place.”

“I think my favourite holiday was in the Orkneys” Ellen said, looking a million miles away. “Even Brian and I had difficulty understanding what they were saying as they speak with an Orcadian dialect. As we flew into Kirkwall, the waters surrounding the islands were so clear ye could see the seals swimming in the crystal clear water, so graceful. Kirkwall is a Viking town at heart, with a skyline dominated by the magnificent 12th century Norse cathedral of St Magnus.”

“I can see I’ve got a lot to learn Ellen”, Claire smiled. “I know more about Egypt than Scotland.”

“Ye’ve lived a fascinating life Claire. And still plenty more to do and learn. The world’s yer oyster”, Ellen declared.


	13. Seacliff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A break for Ian and Jenny.

Jenny and Ian chose a cottage close to Seacliff Beach. It had a privately-owned section of beach which they would be able to access as part of the rental. An ideal place for wee Ian to discover the sand and sea for the first time. There was a ramp into the cottage and the bathroom had been modified for disabled guests. The owners lived a short distance away in the event of an emergency and Claire could drive there in a bit less than an hour.

Explaining the situation to wee Jamie, Maggie and Kitty was a bit difficult. Eventually, Jenny sat with them and Claire read out the list of things they could do while Ma and Da were away. It softened the blow.

Jenny’s heart nearly broke when Kitty said solemnly: “Ye won’t forget us will ye Ma?”

“Of course not, Kitty, but Ma needs a rest and so does Da. When we come back, we’ll be able to give yer grandies, Uncle Jamie and Aunty Claire a rest”, Jenny replied.

Claire was surprised to be referred to as ‘Aunty Claire’ for the first time, but none of the children questioned it so neither did she.

Ellen and Jenny prepared some boxes of non-perishable foodstuffs and made a list of what they still needed so Claire could stop en route. Clothes, medications and bags of odds and sods were packed in readiness. After an early lunch the following Monday, the SUV was loaded, and they prepared to leave.

Jamie had cleaned out and repaired the old cubby house, beside the machinery shed so it was sheltered, so that the children could play in it. Wee Jamie had been promised he could “help” to install a new swing by the cubby house. It was enough to distract the children from being left behind while Ma and Da left for a holiday. As the SUV pulled away, Ellen was taking a tray of afternoon tea to the cubby for the girls, who had wanted a tea party with their dolls. 

Claire smiled at Jenny as she craned her neck to get a last glimpse of her three older children: “They’ll be fine Jenny. They couldn’t have three better babysitters. Wee Jamie was showing me his tool kit just before we left. Very manly.”

It was a pleasant drive. They stopped at the village of East Linton, on the River Tyne, to pick up the remaining groceries then on to Seacliff. From the stone cottage they could see the ruins of Tantallon Castle, a 14th century fortress. Claire never failed to be fascinated by the history and beauty of Scotland.

Claire and Jenny helped Ian into the wheelchair and placed wee Ian on his lap. As he took his youngest son for a ride up the ramp, Claire and Jenny unloaded the SUV. Food was placed in the fridge and pantry. Clothes were placed in bedrooms. The kettle was soon on for a cuppa while they familiarised themselves with the cottage. 

“Jenny, this is beautiful. I’ll have to bring Jamie here on holiday too”, Claire told her.

“My brother would go to the ends of the earth with ye Claire. I dinna praise Jamie enough but he’s a good man and he deserves the best. He recognised ye as the woman for him almost the moment he saw ye. Ian told me all about it and that rascal son of mine with the mistletoe. For what it’s worth, I think he chose well and so did ye”, Jenny beamed.

“It’s worth a lot Jenny. Thank you”, Claire told her.

“He had a few short-lived relationships before ye, but there was never anything serious about them. Well, not from Jamie’s point of view anyway. Ma and Da said he was too fussy but when he came back from Portsmouth and told us about ye, we all saw this was different. And when he did up that flat for ye, we knew he wanted ye to stay for good!” Jenny told her as she warmed the teapot and then added the leaf tea.

Jenny sat next to Ian and poured the tea into mugs: “Ian and I have known each other for so long. We were a fixture since our early teens. It wasna so much a question of whether we’d get married as when.”

“What about ye Claire?” Ian asked. “Ye never talk about anyone else before Jamie.”

“Not much to talk about really”, Claire said. “A few fleeting relationships in my teens and at College, but nothing to write home about. A bit like Jamie I suppose. I was determined not to get involved with anyone in the military in case I was posted somewhere different or they were killed in action. Jamie really came out of the blue and I’m very glad he did. He was well worth the wait” she blushed. She finished her mug of tea: “Better head back to _Lallybroch._ I prefer not to drive as the sun’s setting, and I’ll be heading to the west. You know, if you’re worried about anything at all you only have to ring. I’ll call you on Saturday otherwise and pick you up on Sunday morning. I really hope this week helps you rest and relax.”

Jenny walked out to the car with Claire: “Thank ye so much Claire. I’m very grateful for all ye’ve done for us.” She kissed Claire on the cheek: “Can ye send me a few photos of my bairns, just to reassure me?”

“I can. Take care Jenny”, Claire said as she got into the SUV and drove away.

The quiet hum of the SUV was relaxing on the way back. When she pulled up at _Lallybroch,_ she was greeted by the delighted Jamies. They were keen to show her their handiwork.

As she and Ellen prepared the evening meal, Claire asked the children what they’d most like to do from the list of activities the next day. It was unanimous – a trip to the museum in Edinburgh to see the Egyptian display. There were loud cheers when Claire suggested they also go to an ice cream store which served baked goods and gelato.

The week was taken up with horse rides, Gymboree, the zoo, the Children’s Museum, bookstores and baking. By the end of each day, the children were exhausted, and Claire had a collection of photos to send to Jenny and Ian to show their children were thriving and surviving. She also sent several telling shots of Brian and Ellen fast asleep on the couch, leaning on one another.

Lying on the bed at the end of the week, Claire sighed: “Christ Jamie, no wonder Jenny needed a rest. This parenting is exhausting. She would never have coped without her family to help while Ian was away.”

“Time to pick up Jenny and Ian soon. Do you want me to drive so ye can relax and look out at the scenery?” he asked.

“As long as Brian and Ellen are OK with being left with the other three. Some time alone with you would be lovely”, she said rolling towards him. “We don’t get that much time alone do we? Maybe we should have a night or two away again soon.”

A slight frown appeared on Jamie’s face: “Ye’ve been here four months now Claire. How do ye feel about staying?” he asked.

Claire was taken aback: “Why, are you trying to get rid of me Fraser?”

“Far from it, Sassenach. I know ye agreed to take six months leave and it’s getting close. Either we stay here, or I come back to Portsmouth with ye – if ye want to be with me”, he said looking sideways at her.

“If I want to be with you? What sort of question is that? We’ve lived together for four months. What would make you think I _wouldn’t_ want to be with you?” she said, sounding a bit flummoxed.

“Well, ye loved yer job and ye were so good at it. I thought you might miss it”, he replied.

“Jamie, there is no comparison between my love for you and a job. I would have to go back to Portsmouth to sort out what I do with my cottage and all the things I have in storage. Unless you want to live in Portsmouth, of course. You don’t, do you?” she asked.

“Only if there was no other way to be with ye Claire. Are ye really alright about giving up yer career to be here? Are ye sure?”

“Well, if I really wanted to work, I could probably find a job in Scotland, I suppose. It has crossed my mind occasionally, but I haven’t looked into it. How would you feel about that? I still have 8 months of paid leave, so I’ve got plenty of time to consider my options”, she suggested.

“I want ye to do what makes ye happy Sassenach. I’m happy as long as I have ye with me. I canna imagine life without ye now”, Jamie grinned. “Waking up to ye in the morning is my favourite time of day.”

“I thought you enjoyed going to bed at night more than that”, she said kissing his cheek and running her hand down towards his groin.

“Well, yes. But there’s something about waking up with my erect cock resting on yer perfect arse and my hand holding yer breast. It’s the perfect start to the day” he laughed.

“Good point Fraser. That erect cock is pretty impressive. It’s always pleased to see me”, she giggled. “And it’s enough to heat the entire bed.”

“Oh, he’s pleased to see ye alright. That’s guaranteed. Maybe we should get him out now and ye can say hallo to him”, he said looking hopeful.

“I like that idea. I like it very much”, Claire said pulling his zipper down.


	14. Prestonpans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Home is where the heart is.

When they left for Seacliff, Jamie told Claire he wanted to make a side trip to Prestonpans, a small fishing village. They stopped at a café for a coffee and Jamie told Claire a little about the history of the place.

“The Jacobites won a battle here in 1745 under the Bonnie Prince and Lord George Murray. The Jacobites arrived at Prestonpans to find the Government troops in a strong position. To their north was the River Forth, to the west the thick-walled enclosures of Preston House and to the south marshy ground that would defuse any attack” he told her. “The government troops were led by Sir John Cope, who was maybe a bit too sure of himself. The Preston House that exists now wasna the same one – it was built in the nineteenth century.”

“Were there Frasers involved, as well as Murrays?” Claire asked.

“Aye. The Jacobites caught them unaware in the early hours and won the battle in less than half an hour. Their joy was short-lived though. When they fought again at Culloden, the battle lasted only an hour, with the Jacobites suffering a crushing defeat. Around 2,000 Jacobites were killed or wounded and the reprisals on the highlanders were vicious. It was the end of the lifestyle of the Scottish highlanders as it had been known. But I like to come here to remind myself that they did have that victory.”

“I’d like to say I was proud of my English ancestors, but the truth is I’ve seen some of the havoc they reeked in other countries and a lot of it’s not pretty. So many indigenous people in the colonies led a miserable life once they were ‘discovered’. Strange how many of those peoples had existed for centuries but they didn’t count until their lands were _discovered_ by the British”, Claire sighed. “It’s important that your family continue at _Lallybroch_ , Jamie. So much Scottish history has been lost. I could never drag you away from that. It’s your heritage.”

“So, you’ll stay here with me? Here in Scotland? No question?” Jamie said with a wide grin.

“Well, I couldn’t leave you and I don’t think you should leave here, so I guess the answer is an unequivocal yes”, she said placing her hand over his. “If you want me.”

“Well, that’s a definite yes too. I want ye more than anything I’ve ever wanted Claire. I’m now officially the happiest man there is. Let’s go get Jenny and Ian”, he said standing and embracing her.

They walked around the village hand in hand before returning to the SUV and driving on to Seacliff, where Jenny had packed up their belongings ready to leave. She greeted them at the door with wee Ian on her hip. Jamie swung into action, packing the bags and boxes in the vehicle and returning to have a quick tour of the cottage.

Claire sidled up to Jenny: “Did you do any interesting reading?” she asked with a knowing look.

“Aye, that book ye lent me was very interesting indeed Claire. Very informative”, Jenny grinned back.

“Did it have a happy ending?’ Claire nudged her.

“Couldna have been any better. I think we’ll live happily ever after”, Jenny laughed. “The entire holiday has been the best thing that’s happened to both of us in years. It was a great idea. It looks like the children had a ball too”, Jenny smiled.

“They did, but they’re looking forward to seeing you again. They’re very excited. Ready to go? I think Jamie’s getting Ian into the SUV right now”, Claire said pointing out of the window.

“Just one thing Claire, before we go” Jenny said holding Claire’s arm. “I want to apologise for anything I’ve said or done that made ye feel unwelcome. I’ve had time to think about how lucky I’ve been when it comes to support from family, but ye were under no such obligation and ye have been the sister I’ve never had. I hope ye’ll stay.”

“Well, Jamie and I just stopped at Prestonpans on the way here and I saw yet again the great pride he takes in his Scottish heritage. There’s no way I could take him away from here, and there’s no way I could leave him, so it’s settled. I’ll be staying.”

“Och, that’s brilliant! I know Ian will be delighted too. I canna wait to tell him”, she said grabbing her shoulder bag and heading out to the car with Claire. 

Ian was similarly relieved: “That’s great news Claire. Jamie would’ve been like a bear with a sore head without ye. I couldna be happier for both of ye – and us.”

With young Ian in the child seat, Claire took a turn at driving as Jamie brought Ian and Jenny up to date with news of their children. Claire was quite teary at his obvious happiness and relief that their futures were sealed. She was happier than she had been for many years.

An hour later they were back at _Lallybroch._ Jenny looked out of the window: “I thought the bairns would be here to welcome us. Probably feeding their faces knowing them” she laughed.

As she entered the front door, the children were waiting with _Welcome Home_ signs and screaming “ _Surprise!”_ Of course, it was no surprise at all, but Jenny and Ian dutifully feigned astonishment as they swept up their three older children. Jenny was dragged into the dining room to see the lunch Ellen and the children had prepared.

Brian muttered laconically: “You’d think we were feeding the five thousand Ellen.”

“Jenny doesna want to come home to cook the moment she gets here. This is a fitting end to their holiday, and the children have had a wonderful time helping”, she scolded.

As they sat and ate, the children talking so rapidly Jenny’s head was swimming, it was clear to all that the holiday had been a worthwhile break for everyone. Now a fresh start, with Claire being amongst them being the norm, was possible. As they ate their dessert, Jamie formally announced to the family that Claire would definitely be staying and there was a loud cheer that brought Claire to tears: “Thank you everyone. I feel very lucky to have found Jamie and be here with you all. I’m glad you’re as happy about it as I am.”

Brian thought it was a good time to break open a bottle of his favourite wine, only allowing Ian a small amount. This time, there was no argument from anyone. The results of Ian imbibing were clear to all.

Having made the decision to stay in Scotland with Jamie, Claire needed to consider a number of things: what would she do with her cottage in Portsmouth? Did she want to work in Scotland? However, her first call was to Colonel John Grey.

John was both delighted and saddened by Claire’s decision: “I’m so pleased to hear that you’re happy with your Scot Claire, but sorry that we’ll be losing you. Have you thought about what you might do in Scotland?”

“Well, I don’t think being on a farm seven days a week is necessarily the best thing for me. Much as I love Jamie and Scotland, I wonder if I need a bit of a challenge”, Claire replied.

“Would you be interested in a job with the Army Reserve in Scotland, Claire? They have a medical regiment based in Edinburgh and I just happen to know that they’re looking for someone to train reservists”, John said. She could hear him smiling smugly.

“And you happen to know this because …?” Claire asked.

“I was talking to someone I know in Glasgow and just dropped your name into the conversation. He was keen as mustard if you decided to stay there. Do you want me to give him a ring?” John suggested.

“I like the sound of that. If you think they’re really interested”, she added.

“Oh, they’re definitely interested. It’s one thing to employ a nurse educator, quite another to employ someone of your rank with field and rehabilitation experience. They’d be lucky to have you”, John told her. “You don’t even need to apply. Give me the word and I’ll shoot your military history through to them.”

Claire faltered for a moment, then agreed: “Well, if you’re sure – yes. I’d like to discuss it with them. Thank you, John.”

“After all you’ve done, I should be thanking you”, John assured her. 

Claire ended the call and sat for a few minutes considering the conversation she’d just had when Jamie waltzed into the flat: “Ye’re looking like Rodin’s _The Thinker,_ Sassenach. Everything alright?”

“I’m about to be recommended for a nurse education job with the Army Reserve in Edinburgh. I’m waiting for some details on exactly what it would entail. Are you OK with that?” she asked him.

“Well, that didn’t take long did it? Claire, as long as ye’re happy and ye’re here living with me, I’m fine with it. Who recommended ye?” he asked.

“John Grey, the colonel who suggested I take six months leave rather than a year. He said he’d already suggested me to someone he knows in Glasgow and they’re keen to meet me. It’s like the jigsaw is coming together, isn’t it?” she smiled.

Jamie sat next to her, raising and kissing her hand: “Claire, like I said – we were meant to be. I’ve never doubted it. Ian said to me that sometimes ye just know, and he was right. Now we just have the small matter of organising yer cottage and all that stuff in storage. Maybe we’ll have a wee holiday together”, Jamie suggested.

“Oh yes, that is one good idea”, Claire agreed. 


	15. Déjà vu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The feeling that one has lived through a situation before

Claire was sitting in the flat researching the Army Reserve operations in Scotland when an explosive sound invaded her ears.

Anyone who has heard a large farm tractor backfire knows it can be quite a shock for the uninitiated. It occurs when stopping an engine, and is caused by unburned fuel/air mixture being ignited by the heat of the muffler when the engine is shut off. If it occurs inside a large building, like the Fraser’s machinery shed, it sounds even worse. The walls reverberate.

For the Frasers and Murrays, this sound was awful but familiar. For Claire, it came as a rude shock.

Jamie had just returned from one of the more distant parts of the farm, so the muffler was particularly hot. He was wearing his Bluetooth ear muffs and listening to music when the ‘explosion’ occurred. He wasn’t aware of the reaction at first.

It was Jenny and Ian, sitting at the kitchen table with the children, who reacted first to the scream from the flat. As they moved towards the door to the flat, it flew open and Claire ran out in a state of panic. She headed straight towards the back door and the source of the sound, with Jenny in pursuit. Ian called out: “Jenny, it’s a panic attack. Watch her to make sure she doesna do herself any harm!” He told the children to stay back, not wanting them to see what was happening.

Ian had seen these attacks in Iraq and at the hospital. They were almost as bad to behold as they were to experience in person. The sweating, terrified eyes, shortness of breath, trembling and look of fear on a victim was alarming. He knew from experience that a person’s heart would pound so much that their ears hurt.

Jenny was running behind Claire, watching her scream and stumble towards the machinery shed, calling to her: “Claire, it’s alright. It’s just that damned tractor!” Claire was oblivious to it all. Jamie was sitting in the tractor, listening to the end of a favourite track, when he saw Claire race towards the hay bales stored along the back wall. She was furiously clawing at them, screaming. Behind her was Jenny. He jumped from the tractor, wondering what the hell was going on.

Claire was wailing: “We’ve got to help them! They’re trapped in there. For God’s sake, we have to save them.”

The bales were beginning to topple. Jamie ran in and caught a few bales that were about to fall on Claire’s head, while Jenny stood behind her ensuring she didn’t fall into any of the other machinery. There was no reasoning with her, and when Jamie tried to reassure her, she just shouted at him: “Why the fuck aren’t you helping? They could die in there!”

When she finally fell to the ground, sobbing and exhausted, Jamie gently lifted her in his arms and carried her back to the flat. She was covered in hay and dirt. Her hands were raw and bleeding where she had been frantically grabbing at anything in her path. With Jenny’s help, he removed her outer layer of clothing and laid on the bed with her as she sobbed and shook. He could feel her body trembling against him.

Ian had been shielding the children, while Ellen had arrived on the scene and rung for an ambulance.

There was an ambulance station in Broch Mordha, so it was only about ten minutes before they heard the sirens approaching the house. The children, normally delighted at the sound of any emergency vehicle, were more worried than excited.

The paramedics were soon in the flat, checking Claire’s blood pressure, her heart rate, dressing her bloodied hands, looking for any injuries she might have sustained and generally checking her out. As Jamie sat next to her, a quietly spoken paramedic was reassuring Claire: “Breathe in slowly through your nose. Breathe out slowly, deeply and gently through your mouth. Count steadily from one to five on each in-breath and each out-breath. close your eyes and focus on your breathing.”

The paramedic continued to monitor Claire’s heartbeat and pulse as she slowly calmed. After about ten minutes, her body relaxed into Jamie’s arms and she cried a little before drifting into a restless sleep. Jamie remained with Claire while the paramedics spoke to Jenny, Ian and Ellen about what to do over the next 24 hours. Ian had heard most of it before. Brian had taken the children upstairs.

Claire would remain at _Lallybroch_ as long as she remained stable. The paramedics would call later in the day to see how she was.

Concerned for her wellbeing, Jamie remained with Claire and they nodded off to sleep, Claire in Jamie’s arms. It was several hours later that he woke from his nap feeling hungry and thirsty. He extricated himself from Claire and headed for the main kitchen to avoid making noise that might wake her, finding Jenny making some bread.

“How is she?” Jenny asked. “Christ, the poor woman was distraught. So out of character for Claire. Do you want me to make ye a sandwich so ye can get back to the flat?’

“I’d love that. I dinna want to leave her for too long in case she wakes and wonders where I’ve gone”, he smiled.

Jenny made Jamie a sandwich while he grabbed a mug of coffee. He was heading back to the flat when he heard childrens’ voices. He had left the door to the flat ajar and Maggie and Kitty had snuck in to see Claire. He stopped at the door and listened to them talking to Claire, who had just opened her eyes.

“Are ye alright Aunty Claire?” Kitty asked quietly. Claire nodded.

Maggie continued: “Kitty wanted to bring ye her favourite doll, Esmeralda. She said Essie makes her better whenever she is worried or sick.” Kitty handed the doll to Claire, who quietly thanked her. Jamie watched as Kitty cupped her little hand around Claire’s ear and whispered something to her. Claire ran her hand down Kitty’s arm: “Thank you darling. That’s very special.”

The girls turned to see Jamie standing in the doorway: “We just wanted to see if Aunty Claire was alright” Maggie told him, worried that they might be in trouble.

“She’d like that very much girls, I’m sure. Thank ye”, he told them as they sidled out of the flat.

Jamie closed the door behind him and offered Claire half of his sandwich. She waved the plate away. She had pale skin most of the time, but now she was as white as the sheets around her: “No thanks. I feel a bit nauseous.” He sat on the side of the bed.

She said quietly: “Kitty said Essie was magic. She had asked Essie to bring Ian home and she had, so she would definitely make me better. Isn’t that beautiful?”

“Aye, it is. Ye gave everyone a fright Sassenach. How are ye feeling?” Jamie asked, between mouthfuls of his sandwich.

“Exhausted. Embarrassed. I can’t remember exactly what happened, or at least not all of it. Did I hurt anyone?” she asked looking worried.

“No, not at all. Just frightened the crap out of us is all”, he smiled as he kissed her cheek. “I think ye need to rest up for at least the rest of the day. The paramedics are going to check in on ye later.”

“I suppose you want to know what caused it?” she said apprehensively.

“If ye feel like it. It can wait until ye’re ready. As long as ye’re alright”, he reassured her.

“Can you come back to bed and cuddle me? I’m still a bit shaken”, she asked him.

He drank the last of his coffee and laid next to her: “I’m here for as long as you need me.”

“Forever?” Claire smiled.

“That’s a given”, Jamie said tucking an errant curl of hair behind her ear.

Claire rested her head on Jamie’s shoulder, his arm around her.

“It was Iraq. I’ll tell you more when I don’t feel so shit. Is that OK?” she asked.

“Absolutely. I guessed it was something to do with yer time there. We’ve all got our demons Sassenach. Ian and his leg, Jenny worried about Ian, my parents eloping because of a family feud …”

“Your parents eloped? How romantic”, Claire sighed.

“Well, it caused quite a stir at the time evidently. Of course, I wasna there to witness it but all these years later they’re still very happy. They fell in love almost at first sight, a bit like us. Maybe that’s one reason I had no doubt that we could work Claire. I knew they had never doubted their decision and neither do I”, Jamie said kissing the top of her head.

“How long have they been together?” Claire asked.

“Well, they had Jenny five years after they got married, so at least 38 years”, he replied.

“I love that story” Claire told him, snuggling into him.

They heard a knock on the door. The paramedics had returned to check on Claire. After checking her hands, renewing the dressings and ensuring that all other vital signs were back to normal, they advised her to go to the family doctor in a few days to have the dressings checked for any signs of infection.

Ellen brought Claire a bowl of soup and some of the freshly baked bread. After eating, Claire fell into a deep sleep.

Jamie ate dinner with the family while Claire slept.

Ian asked: “Has she said whether the panic attack was something to do with Iraq?”

“Aye, but none of the detail. She was exhausted and embarrassed. She’ll tell us when she’s ready”, Jamie responded.

“I’ve often wondered why she never talked of her time in Iraq. It must have been bad because she’s a strong woman”, Ian replied.


	16. Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire bares her soul.

The children were in bed and the adults talking over hot drinks when Claire emerged from the flat. She was still pale and wan, wrapped in a dark dressing gown which was in stark contrast to her ivory skin. As she emerged, Jamie rose from his seat and guided her to a comfortable chair. He placed a blanket over her legs, kissed her cheek and made her a hot chocolate, her favourite night-time drink.

Ellen was the first to speak: “Are ye feeling a little better now Claire?”

“I’m still tired but not as jittery, thank you”, she replied. 

She took the hot mug of chocolate from Jamie, who sat next to her and placed his hand on her knee. He wanted to comfort her and feel the connection with him. They smiled at one another in a gesture of affection. No words needed.

She was about halfway through her drink when she told them: “I’d like to tell you about it. About why that happened.” She looked around at the sympathetic faces around her. “It’s been a long time and I want you to understand where that came from.”

Ian knew better than anyone else what a challenge that was: “Are ye sure it willna stir ye up Claire? We can wait.”

“No, I think I’d feel more comfortable if you knew about it”, she replied.

She took another sip of her drink and began.

“When I was just five years old, I lost both my parents in a car accident. The bottom fell out of my world. I was very lucky that my Uncle Lamb, short for Lambert, took me under his wing and shared his life on archaeological sites with me. He was such a wonderful man. I travelled around Europe and the Middle East with him for years, learning from books and experiences that few people of my age had – of any age really. It was all quite amazing. Eventually, he thought I should get a formal education and I went to boarding school in England.

I don’t think I would have survived boarding school and being away from Lamb and his exotic life if it hadn’t been for my friend, Gillian. Gillian Edgars. Only her best friends were allowed to call her Geillis. Geillis means shiny and bright, and that’s exactly what she was. When I got the news that Lamb had died suddenly, Geillis was there for me. She was such a wonderful friend, and she was the only person I felt I had left in the world that truly loved me. She held my hand literally during the funeral and metaphorically for a long time after that.

We made a pact that we would work together to get into nursing at City, the University of London. That pact was what got me through that difficult time, mourning the loss of all my family. I suppose Geillis became my family really.

We worked hard at university, but we also partied hard. We had boyfriends who were disasters, but that was fine because we picked one another up and stuck together like glue. We were immortal, or so we thought.

“As it came close to graduation, the Defence Forces came to the university to recruit graduates. They made it sound wonderful – travel, long holidays, great pay as officers from day 1, helping communities at home and abroad – so we decided to join up together. We agreed that we’d do everything we could to stay together, even if it meant volunteering for something “a bit iffy”, as Geillis would say.

We finished our officers’ leadership course and next thing we knew we were on a plane to Mosul. I’d been to the world heritage site of Hatra with Lamb, about 100 kilometres from Mosul, so I thought I knew quite a bit about Iraq. None of us were ready for what we were about to experience.”

She looked up to see Ian shaking his head in agreement: “Aye, I know exactly what ye’re saying Claire. Reality hits ye like a truck.”

“It does”, Claire agreed, then continued. 

“I was there in the early days of Operation Telic, before Ian. At the peak of the campaign there were 46,000 British service personnel in that operation. At first, we seemed to be swamped in a sea of cases of gastro enteritis. But we soon realised that we were going to get plenty of surgical practice there too, and we were going to lose lives. Sometimes I think the people we sent home injured were worse off than those who died in those hospitals. Some of the injuries were horrific.” 

She shuddered a little as she said it and felt Jamie’s hand gripping her arm. She looked up to see his watery eyes closely focussed on her face and touched his hand. She knew Ian’s mind would be focussed on his time there too. These were memories that would never be forgotten, no matter how hard one tried.

“Geillis and I agreed that we wouldn’t get involved with any of the men there. The chance of heartbreak was high, and the emotional involvement would have been too much. We stuck to that agreement for over a year, until Geillis met Doug. I could see her falling hard for him and warned her off, but she told me ‘ _I tried so hard Claire, but I couldn’t deny what I felt.’_

“She actually met Doug at the orphanage in Mosul. He volunteered there, like us. Hundreds of orphans, mostly traumatised, had been brought into Mosul from villages that had been destroyed. Some of them had seen their parents tortured and killed by ISIS and they would sit and rock from the emotional trauma. Geillis and I would go to the orphanage outside our shifts and help with injuries, dressings, cleaning and so on. There was one little girl, Nour, who I was just drawn to. She was about the same age as Kitty is now. I would feed her with a spoon and hold her. She craved the physical contact. She’d lost her entire family and was brought into the orphanage by the troops. I began looking into adopting her and getting her back to England with me when I left. I knew it would be hard but I understood what it was to be a child who had lost her parents, indeed her entire family.

“Anyway, I was on day shift and Geillis was on nights on _that_ day. She and Doug had gone down to the orphanage with some other nurses and medics. I was just rushing down some lunch when I heard the explosion. An ISIS bomb had shattered parts of the orphanage. I just dropped everything and ran. I’ve never been a strong athlete, but I didn’t feel my feet touching the ground as I ran. It felt like I was flying – like I was Icarus, flying toward the heat of the sun. It was a scorching hot day. I ran straight to the area Geillis often went to with Nour and started scraping at the shattered walls with my bare hands. It was some minutes before I realised that others were doing the same and that their hands were torn and bleeding. So were mine. I hadn’t even felt the pain. Some of the people trying to rescue any survivors were burned too, but they just kept digging.”

She paused and blew her nose. She felt a similar exhaustion she had felt that day but wanted to finish. She took the last mouthful of her almost-hot chocolate from her mug.

“Eventually, we found Geillis with her arms wrapped around Nour. She’d been trying to protect her. They were both dead. Doug was just a few metres from them and died soon after we dug him out", she said crying.

She looked up to see everyone was quietly crying.

“And that’s why I reacted the way I did this afternoon”, she managed to splutter out before sobbing. “It was like déjà vu, because I thought I might have lost Jamie too.”

After a short period of near silence, only interrupted by the blowing of noses, Jenny said quietly: “Bombing bairns. Christ.”

Ian looked up: “They may have been bairns but to ISIS, they were still the enemy. The evil is beyond my comprehension. And if it weren’t for those people who dragged me out of the mine field and treated me in the hospital, like Claire, I wouldn’t be sitting here now. As ye know, I wasn’t sure I wanted to live for a while after I’d lost my leg, but now I think people like us have an obligation to tell people what happened there, Claire. People need to know.”

Brian asked quietly: “Did ye save any of them Claire?”

“Yes, Ian knows one of them – John Grey. He’s a Colonel now, but he wasn’t then. Another nurse I worked with had some injuries but was fortunate. There were some children who survived, but not very many”, she replied.

“Colonel Grey was at the orphanage?” Ian said, looking surprised.

“Yes, he used to help there too. That’s how I got to know him really. We’ve been friends ever since”, Claire smiled. “We operated on a few others, but their injuries were very serious. I flew back to Portsmouth with them and from then on I worked in the hospital there once my own injuries had healed.”

Ellen sighed: “I’m exhausted just thinking about it all Claire. They say what doesn’t kill ye makes ye stronger but coming back from the loss of so many people must’ve been so very hard.”

“I think it’s why I put a fence around myself. I devoted my time and energy to helping others heal and now I need to move on with my own life.” She stopped and looked at Jamie, “Thank goodness Jamie came into my life. I wasn’t expecting him or the rest of you in my new world. That’s why I wanted to tell you.”

“I’m glad ye did Claire”, Jenny assured her as she rose and gave her a hug. “But remember that ye have a gift in all those experiences. Ye understood what Ian and others were going through because ye’d been there, seen it all and lost people ye cared for yerself. That sort of empathy is both a gift and a curse I suppose.”

Jamie, keen to have Claire alone in their own bubble, rose and helped Claire stand: “I think it’s time we went to bed. Ye look exhausted Claire. It’s been a hell of a day.”

Claire hugged each of the Frasers and Ian and held Jamie’s arm as they moved towards the flat. Jamie helped her undress and nestle under the bed cover, undressed himself and fell into bed with her. As Claire curled into him, he asked quietly: “How do ye feel now Sassenach?”

“Safe. I feel safe”, she whispered.

“Ye’re a brave wee thing”, he replied kissing her.

“I love you Jamie”, she told him.

“And I, you.”


	17. The price of a vase

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Claire recuperates from her panic attack, she is stunned by a stranger.

Claire woke alone the following morning feeling stiff and sore. Her panic attack had left her feeling a bit fragile and emotionally flat. Her hands, arms and shoulders were particularly achy. She was lying in the bed reflecting on the previous day when Jamie appeared with a tray of breakfast: “I hope ye can finish this. I didna put too much on the tray as I thought ye might still feel a bit off. There’s plenty more in the kitchen if ye want it.”

He sat on the side of the bed as she picked at the porridge and toast without any enthusiasm: “I’m going to do a quick tour of the farm to make sure everything’s shipshape, then I’ll come back and we can do whatever you’d like. Maybe go for a walk or a drive, just the two of us.”

“I’d like that. Thank you”, she replied. She still looked exhausted, but Jamie didn’t want to comment on it. She was already embarrassed.

“And I’ll park the tractor well away from the house”, he added as he left the flat.

She placed the tray on the floor, grabbed Esmerelda the doll and slid back under the bedclothes. She felt like she had a hangover. When Jamie returned, she was still in bed. He encouraged her to get up and shower then they went for a short drive and a walk. She was uncharacteristically quiet and listless, so Jamie didn’t push her to do too much.

Eventually, as they walked back to the vehicle, she shed a few tears: “This reminds me of how I felt after the explosion in Mosul. It was as if the life had been sucked out of me. Everything was a huge effort and seemed a bit pointless. Just putting one foot in front of the other was exhausting. The only difference this time is that I have you.” She pushed her head into his chest and held him tight: “Just for a moment, I thought I’d lost you too. I thought my head would explode.”

“I’m here Sassenach. We’ll get through this together”, he reassured her as they dawdled back to the vehicle holding one another.

The rest of the day was quiet and slow-paced. Jenny encouraged Claire to have afternoon tea with the children, who were uncharacteristically quiet out of respect for Claire. Esmerelda joined the party. She tried to work up some enthusiasm for wee Jamie’s worm collection, which he was sure would cheer her up, and the girls decided they would dress up in their favourite clothes to cheer up Aunty Claire.

After the evening meal, Claire and Jamie watched a movie together and then went to bed early. They would venture into the village the following day to see the GP, who would check Claire over and change her dressings.

After breakfast, she and Jamie headed into Broch Mordha. First stop was the doctor’s surgery. After running through her medical history, Claire described the nature of her panic attack and the doctor checked her out and changed the dressings on her hands. He had also worked in a military hospital, so they had a little in common and an instant respect for one another. He told her that he wanted her to return in a week for a check-up.

After her appointment, Claire and Jamie headed into the centre of the village. While Jamie went to the off licence to grab some brandy and beer, Claire did a bit of window shopping. She was particularly drawn to a small gift shop, which had an old-fashioned vase in the window. She’d always made do with a glass jug for flowers and thought she’d splash out on a vase. She entered the shop, hearing a bell tinkle as she opened the door. After a matter of seconds, a woman appeared. She was the archetypal country woman in appearance – a tad rotund in build with her long grey hair swept back in a bun and a pleasant smile on her ruddy face.

“Can I help ye lass?” she asked.

“Yes. I’m rather fond of that vase in the window. How much do you want for it?” Claire asked.

The woman’s face changed a little: “Are ye the English lass living up at _Lallybroch?”_ she asked with a hint of scepticism. “The one wee Jamie Murray calls The Major?”

Claire smiled: “Yes, I am. But I do have a name, it’s Claire.” 

“Well Claire, the asking price for the vase is £36. It’s a good quality one” she added.

Claire was rifling through her wallet to see if she had the exact amount in cash when a small lad appeared from the rear of the shop: “Can I have the last banana please?” he asked.

“Aye lad. Ye can”, she replied. The little boy skipped to the back of the shop, looking pleased.

Claire handed the money to the woman, asking: “Is that your grandson? He’s a handsome lad.”

“Aye. That’s Malcolm. I’m guessing Jamie would’ve told ye about his lad by my daughter”, she said with an inquiring look.

Claire almost dropped the vase. She did her best to retain her composure, saying: “Thank you. Nice to meet you.”

She stumbled to the door. The bell tinkled as she left the store. She leaned against the outer stone wall of the shop just in time to see Jamie coming out of the off licence. When he saw her leaving the gift shop, his face fell, and he headed across the road with a worried expression on his face: “Did ye buy something in the gift shop Sassenach?”

The look on her face told him that she was ready to erupt.

“Yes, I bought a vase. I haven’t decided whether to get some flowers to put in it or smash it over your head. What would you suggest?” she asked sarcastically. Her previously pale cheeks were now a bright, furious red.

“I’d suggest we get back to the car”, Jamie said quietly.

“What a fucking brilliant idea”, Claire said seething.

Claire paced towards the SUV at speed, driven by anger, with Jamie pursuing her. “Slow down Claire, I dinna like walking behind ye.” 

“Walk faster”, was her furious response.

When they got to the SUV, Jamie was looking seriously worried: “I’m not sure ye should drive Claire”, he said putting the bottles by the car.

“What, in case, I run over your son? The one you neglected to mention?” she spat out.

“Claire, please. I can explain”, he said holding her arm.

She threw his hand off her arm: “Bit fucking late for that, isn’t it? Get in the car. We’re going to have this conversation somewhere I feel alright to shout and swear.” Jamie put the grog in the SUV and Claire sped off.

Jamie was right – Claire shouldn’t have been driving. She drove out of Broch Mordha like a mad woman, heading towards _Lallybroch._ Just 5 minutes from Broch Mordha, she took a sudden turn into a country lane, parked the car, turned off the ignition and turned to him: “You’ve got some fucking explaining to do Jamie Fraser.”

“Claire, please. Hear me out. The child is _not_ mine”, he told her.

“Well, his grandmother clearly thinks little Malcolm is the fruit of your loins. Why does she think that if it’s not the case?” she blurted out.

“Let me finish”, he said quietly, trying to calm her, his hands held up in a defensive position. “Malcolm Mackenzie is the child of Laoghaire Mackenzie, who in layman’s terms was the village bike. When she found out she was pregnant, she tried to set me up as the bairn’s father, but I’m not. She told her mother I was because she knew she wanted me to marry the lass”, he explained.

“So, you must’ve slept with her. Have you never heard of condoms?”, Claire said frustratedly.

“Yes and no”, Jamie told her.

“What kind of fucking answer is that? Either you did or you didn’t. Don’t play me for a fool Jamie Fraser!” she said accusingly.

“Half of Broch Mordha, including her mother, saw me leave the pub with Laoghaire and guessed that we’d slept together but that’s not exactly what happened. We went back to her room over the gift shop and …” he faltered.

“And you screwed her without protection?” Claire asked.

“The man downstairs didna respond”, Jamie said meekly.

“Well, who lives downstairs and what’s he got to do with it?” Claire was exasperated.

“I couldna get him up Claire. It was erectile dysfunction”. Jamie looked mortified. “Remember when I told you I thought I might not be up to scratch? That’s why. Before I met ye, I had problems in that department.”

Claire was silent. A look of shock adorned her face.

Jamie turned and looked out of the windscreen: “When ye kissed me under the mistletoe, the man downstairs rose to the occasion like never before. I only have to look at ye and I’m consumed with lust. It’s like ye flick a switch that only ye possess. That’s why the morning is my favourite time of day. Every morning I wake up with ye, I feel like a man – a man in love. Every day I wake up I swear I love ye more than the day before. Ye’ve changed my life Claire and now I’m scared I’ve blown it. But I swear the boy is not mine.”

It took a lot to render Claire Beauchamp speechless, but she sat in the vehicle open-mouthed. It was only the sound of a cattle truck behind her, the driver blaring on his horn, that shocked her back to reality. 

She flipped the bird then drove on for some distance until she saw a sign to a picnic area. She turned in, pulled up, sighed and said to Jamie: “You and I need to talk.”

“Aye, I was afraid ye’d say that”, he replied.


	18. Deal with it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie and Claire agree to face any problems head on, with the help of Ellen.

As Jamie stood by the SUV looking like he’d prefer to be anywhere but there, Claire found a picnic blanket and her emergency supplies. She walked to a sheltered spot beneath the trees, Jamie reluctantly following behind. She opened the small basket, revealing a supply of chocolate, nuts and dried fruit. She poured two glasses of water and patted the picnic blanket: “Come and sit here. I’m not going to kill you. Well, not yet anyway.”

Jamie was a large man and easily took up most of the blanket. He sat with his arms around his knees, looking like an overgrown schoolboy waiting to have his punishment meted out. He nibbled at the nuts and chocolate. He wouldn’t make eye contact with Claire, preferring to look into the distance.

Claire, having settled down during the drive, said quietly: “You should have told me. Have you told anyone?”

“Only Ma. I think she said something to Da. I didna tell Jenny, but I think she knows something’s amiss. Ye canna keep secrets in a Scottish village. Ian never did like Laoghaire, so he’d avoid her anyway”, he said. “As for telling ye, well I’m a coward. I was afraid that if I told ye, ye’d turn on yer heel and be gone and I couldna risk that. I’d do worse than lie to keep ye with me Claire.” He turned and looked at her directly as he finished his sentence. She could see he was hurting. He was biting his bottom lip and his eyes were welling with tears. “But I’m not lying. Malcolm is not my child.”

“I believe you”, she said as she placed one hand on his arm, reached over and rested her head on his shoulder.

“Ye do? Well, I’m pleased to hear it but can ye tell me why?” he asked.

“Because you’re a very fair and honest man. I don’t think you’d lie about something as serious as this, and I don’t believe you’d deny your own child. Added to that, you were honest with me about what I’ll call a bit of performance anxiety, although for the record I’ve always found you to be nothing short of perfect Jamie”, she grinned.

He smiled at that and relaxed a little: “Only with ye Claire. Only with ye.”

“Well, also for the record, it’s the same for me. I’ve never found anyone just right before. You’re not alone in that Jamie. ‘Only with ye’” she said mimicking his accent.

“That’s the worst Scottish accent I’ve heard in my life”, he finally laughed. “But I’m glad ye think I’m nothing short of perfect, because that’s exactly how I feel about ye Sassenach. Although ye’re a wee bit frightening at times.”

Claire fell back on the blanket and laughed: “The Bossy Sassenach Major lives up to her reputation yet again.” 

Jamie hovered over her: “And I love ye regardless.” He kissed her long and hard then laid next to her, holding her bandaged hand gently.

“But we need to deal with this Jamie. Malcolm must be about the same age as Kitty so he’s sure to go to school with your nieces and nephews. It wouldn’t be fair on any of them to try to keep this under wraps. Someone’s sure to say something and open a can of worms”, Claire said.

“Aye, you’re right.”

“Didn’t you insist on a DNA test?” she asked.

“Ma asked the family solicitor about that and he said a test could only be enforced if I was paying Laoghaire maintenance for the child. She wouldna allow a test, saying she’d look after the lad herself. She knew as well as I that I wasn’t the father. Maybe she doesna want to tell anyone who is. It’s possible she doesna even know who the father is.”

“Why on earth were you with her at all? Knowing her reputation?” Claire asked with a note of disgust.

“Grog”, Jamie answered.

“Who’d been drinking? You and her?” Claire asked.

“Aye, although I think she’d had a deal more than me”, Jamie sighed. “Have ye seen those wee videos of how much better someone looks after a few drinks?”

Claire snorted: “You look like **_I_** need a drink? Yep.” She paused. “How did we get from me threatening to smash a vase over your head to laughing about grog?”

“I’ve no idea but I’m glad we’re back on an even keel Sassenach. And you’re right. We do need to sort out something about wee Malcolm. I can’t put it off anymore. Poor lad has been the subject of rumours for too long and so have I. I canna believe ye found out over a vase.”

“Laoghaire’s mother must’ve been holding on to the mistaken belief that you might marry her daughter until she heard I’d come along to spoil the party. She asked me if I was the one wee Jamie called The Major. As you say, no secrets in a village”, Claire told him.

“Aye. Secrets are one thing but lies are another Claire. I did keep the rumours around Malcolm a secret and that was a mistake, but I wouldna lie to ye about it”, Jamie assured her.

“That vase was too expensive to break over your head, so that’s just as well”, she smiled. “Let’s head back to _Lallybroch_ and think about what we could do. Are you going to tell Ellen that I know?” she asked.

“I think it might be better if ye tell her and explain how ye found out. I suspect she’ll be relieved to know that ye’re aware and that she can talk openly about it to ye. Jenny is a different kettle of fish though. She’s just as likely to take an axe down to the gift shop and smash it up. I sometimes wonder how we can be from the same gene pool”, he smirked.

“I think Jenny’s reactions are priceless, I just don’t want to be on the end of them”, Claire said raising her eyebrows.

“Agreed. Mind, yer words are akin to an axe when ye’re angry Sassenach”, Jamie said squeezing her hand.

“Don’t squeeze too hard. That hand is still bloody sore”, Claire said flinching.

“Then I’m driving”, Jamie told her.

“Good idea. If you tell me any more secrets on the way home, I might crash the car”, Claire responded.

They were resolved to deal with the situation once they worked out a way to do that. Claire agreed that she would raise the issue with Ellen when the opportunity arose. Jamie expressed relief that Claire knew after the initial kerfuffle, even more so when she told him she believed that he wouldn’t lie about Malcolm not being his son. By the time they arrived back at _Lallybroch_ , no one in the house would have guessed that their relationship had been tested by such news. Everyone assumed Claire looked so tired because of her panic attack. She was exhausted.

Claire mulled over the predicament before speaking to Ellen. This was not something to be rushed.

The following day, Claire was sitting alone in the flat, resting and reflecting, when Ellen asked if she’d like some tea and cake: “I’d love that Ellen. Maybe we could have some together in here. I’d like to talk to you about something.”

The two women sat together, each enjoying a large serve of Ellen’s fresh cake, when Claire broached the subject of Malcolm and her visit to the gift shop.

“I hoped Jamie would tell ye before ye found out like that, Claire”, Ellen sighed. “Ye must have been mortified. As a former Mackenzie, I can only apologise for the rudeness of my kin, especially with everything else ye’ve been through. I’ve approached Laoghaire and her mother in an attempt to resolve this, but both of them are in denial. Ye must have been so angry with Jamie.”

“Oh, he knew how I felt about it Ellen! But once he told me his side of the story, and I calmed down a bit, I realised that the Jamie I know and love wouldn’t deny his child or lie about something that serious. We talked about it, and my concern is that it needs to be sorted before Malcolm fronts up to school with Jenny’s children. If something is said, the poor boy could be ostracised and confused.”

“That’s considerate of ye Claire. Not everyone would see it from the child’s point of view. I agree wholeheartedly. The idea of a DNA test was floated, but Laoghaire refused immediately. That girl is covering something or someone, in my opinion. I got nowhere with that and the issue has been lying dormant, but it could explode any time. I suppose it already has, given how ye found out. I think maybe I need to speak to Ned, our solicitor, again. But Claire, more than anything I think the last week or so has shown the love and trust that ye and Jamie have. I’ve seen relationships collapse over the smallest things, but I think what ye and Jamie have is very special. As his Ma, I cannot tell ye how happy that makes me.”

They were just finishing their drinks as Jamie came home, shed his boots and entered the flat. He looked at the two most important women in his life and knew instantly that they’d been talking about the issue of young Malcolm: “So, Claire has told ye about how buying a vase led to the issue of Malcolm?, he asked Ellen.

“She has. We’re agreed that it needs to be resolved for Malcolm’s sake as well as yours. I’m going to speak to Ned again”, Ellen replied.

“I’d be happy to have it off my back. Rumour is a great traveller, and stories tend to grow as they spread”, Jamie said looking hopeful. “Besides that, Claire’s been through enough without having to carry that burden when she goes into Broch Mordha.” He and Claire looked at one another and smiled. “Now, where’s the rest of that cake.”


	19. It's in the blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A slip of the tongue reveals a possible solution to The Malcolm Problem.

As luck would have it, a chance conversation with her new GP shed some light on the issue of Malcolm.

Claire went into Broch Mordha with Ellen for her checkup with the GP. After examining her hands, he had a question for her: “Claire, in your new patient questionnaire you noted that you have AB blood type, the rarest of them all. I wonder if you would consider donating platelets as it’s difficult to find donors with your blood type. In fact, young Malcolm Mackenzie at the gift shop is the same blood group as you”, he said nonchalantly. “Quite unusual to have two ABs in a village this size.”

“Yes, I always donated when asked in Portsmouth. I just hadn’t got around to it here” she replied.

“The Red Cross come out to the surgery every few months. Could you fill in these forms and I’ll add you to the list of donors”, he smiled.

“Of course”, she said taking the forms and placing them in her bag.

Claire was well aware that the doctor shouldn’t have revealed young Malcolm’s blood type to her. Of course, he couldn’t have known the significance of that disclosure.

As they walked away from the surgery, Claire asked Ellen: “Do you know what blood type Jamie is?”

“Aye, he’s an O+. Both Brian and I are Os. Why do you ask?” she said looking puzzled.

“That seals it”, Claire said clapping her hands. "It proves that Jamie can’t be Malcolm’s father. Malcolm is the same blood type as me – an AB. Depending on Laoghaire’s blood type, the father would need to be an A, B or AB blood type. We can confirm that Laoghaire’s lying”, she said as a broad smile covered her face.

“Well, I’ll be … the wee snake is finally caught out. How do you know for sure that Malcolm is AB?” Ellen asked.

“The doctor let it slip. He shouldn’t have, so we’ll have to be careful if we’re to reveal this information”, Claire cautioned. “You know some studies have shown that roughly 10% of children are not the offspring of the person they believe to be their father and it's revealed by their blood type. Their mother’s been covering up an affair. Mind you, plenty of men have been covering up their affairs too!”

“So many? That’s awful”, Ellen said looking horrified. “I’ve a mind to go and front up to the gift shop straight away to give them a piece of my mind.”

“Let’s talk to Ned first. He might have a strategy in mind”, Claire suggested.

“Aye, ye’re right. Softly, softly, Catchee Monkey”, Ellen agreed.

The two women picked up a few grocery items then headed back to _Lallybroch._ Claire was keen to tell Jamie, while Ellen couldn’t wait to have a private chat with Ned.

Jamie was showering in the flat when Claire and Ellen returned. He emerged with a towel around his waist and his hair wet and tousled: “Good timing Sassenach. I stank of cow dung. It was that bad I left my clothes in a bucket in the laundry. How was the doctor?”

“ _Extremely_ interesting. I think you’ll be very pleased”, she said whipping off the towel around his waist. “Get into bed. We have something to celebrate.”

It’d been some days since Claire and Jamie had made love, so Jamie didn’t have to be asked twice. As he jumped into bed, Claire disrobed and joined him. They lay gazing at one another as she told him about her discovery: “I think Ellen is probably ringing Ned right now. She was ready to go to the gift shop and give them a piece of her mind at first”, Claire said with a broad grin. 

“Christ, that is good news. One thing to know the truth, another to be able to prove it beyond doubt. But the most important thing was that you believed me before I could prove it Claire. We’ve had a few weeks from hell, but we survived because we love and trust one another.” He felt Claire’s hand moving down towards his groin: “And the man downstairs is delighted as well. Definitely worth celebrating.”

Ellen was about to knock on the door of the flat to tell Jamie and Claire about her conversation with Ned when she heard giggling, sighs and grunts coming from the flat. She smiled to herself and tiptoed away. She could say nothing, but Jamie had been distraught when he told her about “the man downstairs” and that he couldn’t be Malcolm’s father. He had found his cure – Claire.

Inside the flat, Jamie and Claire were enjoying the kneeling lotus position, Jamie sitting with his back resting on the bed head and Claire kneeling astride him with her hands on his shoulders. Claire loved to see Jamie’s face when he lost himself in their lovemaking. Jamie was stimulating her nipples with his tongue and holding her hips as she rose and sank on him. As she came close to orgasm Claire’s tongue attacked Jamie’s mouth, stifling her squeals and his deep sighs of satisfaction. She held him tight to steady herself: “God I love you Jamie. We should celebrate more”, she laughed.

“As much as possible”, he smiled. “I can never get enough of ye Claire. But right now, I’m starving.”

They donned enough clothing to be considered decent and headed into the main kitchen to see what was in the fridge. The remains of a large quiche caught Jamie’s eye. He warmed it in the oven as Claire threw together a salad. Hearing their movement, Ellen headed into the kitchen to tell them about her conversation with Ned.

“So, Claire told ye about her visit to the doctor and the news about blood types?” Ellen asked Jamie.

“She did. It was worthy of a celebration”, Jamie replied. 

Ellen grinned and continued. “I rang Ned. He told me that the fact that the statement had been made to Claire, almost certainly with the intent of causing damage to her relationship with ye Jamie, meant it came within the laws of defamation. He is going to phone Laoghaire’s mother and see if he can get her to drop the boy’s blood type in the conversation, given that Laoghaire won’t allow a DNA test. He’s hoping to set a wee trap for her, as a civil case could take a long time. What do ye think?”

“I think I’ll be glad to get that monkey off my back Ma”, Jamie said as he downed a large helping of quiche and salad.

Claire’s attention was diverted later in the day when Brian arrived home with the mail. Amongst the correspondence was a letter addressed to “Major Claire Beauchamp”. The envelope showed it had come from the Army Reserve in Glasgow. She opened it to find an invitation to meet with the Recruiting Manager and Chief Medical Officer in Edinburgh the following week. She showed it to Jamie: “Look, it’s part time. I’d only have to work in Edinburgh ten days a month and I can develop the training material at home. That’s ideal, don’t you think?”

Jamie ran his arms around her: “Does that mean ye’ll still be at home most days for our lunchtime trysts?”

“Good thinking Fraser. There’s nothing quite like the local farmer looking to get his leg over”, she laughed.

“All I have to do is think about ye slipping between the sheets with me and I work twice as fast. Ye’re my own personal Viagra”, he sniggered as he kissed her neck. “Early night tonight?”

“You’re insatiable!” she laughed, squeezing his buttocks. “But yes, definitely. We can organise a trip to Portsmouth once I know about this job and have a dirty weekend somewhere totally private.”

“Come sit on the couch with me Claire. I want to talk to ye about something”, Jamie said seriously. “Now that ye know about the issues I sometimes had before I met ye, I want to tell ye what it was like that first time that ye and I went to bed. I think ye took me by surprise, by taking the initiative. I didna have time to worry about what might happen. Suddenly, ye were taking control and making me feel wanted and … it was wonderful. Why do ye think that is?” he asked.

“Well, stress hormones can cause blood vessels to narrow so there wouldn’t be as much blood going to the penis. When I came on to you in my typical bossy fashion, you didn’t have time to get stressed so you performed. And once you performed, you weren’t as worried. We would see performance anxiety in a lot of the men at the hospital. After returning from war, sometimes with horrible injuries, they were terrified their partner wouldn’t want them. They worried about it so much they couldn’t perform. I think it’s called a catch-22 situation. But now you have a whole new problem, Jamie Fraser”, Claire smiled.

“I do?”, Jamie frowned.

“Yes. The only way you can be sure that it wouldn’t happen with someone else, is to have sex with other women – and if you did that I’d whip your arse so hard you’d never sit down again”, she laughed. 

Jamie pulled her close to him: “No way that’ll happen. I know when I’ve found the perfect woman for me. I won’t be taking any chances. I don’t need to. I’ve never been happier.”

“So, tonight we should try something different”, Claire said with a salacious smile. “When I first saw you, I wondered what it’d be like to seduce a man wearing a kilt with nothing underneath. Are you game?”

“Absolutely. Did you really wonder that on that very first day?” Jamie smiled.

“I did. And I still do. So, after dinner, it’s you, me and a kilt” she said flashing her boobs.

“Can we just have sandwiches for dinner and get straight to it?” he laughed.

“Oh yes”, Claire said kissing him. "You'll need sustenance to keep up with me."


	20. Change is the new constant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Much is changing in the world of the Frasers and Murrays.

Jamie had been under strict instructions to “go commando” by Claire but was surprised when she started her build-up from his toes and worked her way up. Her tongue and mouth were, he discovered, capable of more than he had imagined. By the time her head disappeared under the kilt he was heavy breathing: “Christ Claire, that mouth of yers has skills I didna know about.”

He was gasping when she suddenly emerged from beneath the kilt and lay down next to him: “Come and get me” she said enticingly as she lay there with her legs wide apart. Jamie ripped off the kilt and plunged into her like a wild man, vowing to make her pay – he was good to his word.

As they lay beside one another panting breathlessly, Jamie stroked her leg: “I thought my heart was gonna burst. I guess I should expect no quarter when I bed a vixen like ye Sassenach.” She rolled toward him: “No mercy. It’s all or nothing”, she laughed.

“When can we do it again?” Jamie grinned.

“When you least expect it”, Claire giggled.

They woke early the following morning. Wee Jamie was excited, as he was going to the Broch Mordha primary school for orientation. He would get his school uniform and meet his first teacher. He couldn’t contain his delight. Jenny had promised the girls that they could go into Broch Mordha too and have morning tea with her at Mrs Mcready’s cake shop. Wee Ian would stay with the rest of the family. He still wore more of the cake than made it into his mouth. Orientation finished at lunchtime and everyone knew that wee Jamie would be full of stories when he arrived home.

Jamie had breakfast and began work early. Brian joined him an hour later. Ian was playing with wee Ian when the phone rang. Ellen answered. It was Jenny: “I’ve no idea what’s going on, but the gift shop is having a clearance sale. Dougal just arrived and is having a row on the footpath with Laoghaire’s mother. The girls and I have got a ring seat in the window of the cake shop. Laoghaire was in tears and just got into Dougal’s car with wee Malcolm. Poor little mite looked so upset. This’ll be the talk of the town for at least a week. I’ll let you know more when I get home.”

Ellen put the phone down and looked at Claire: “I think Laoghaire’s hens have just come home to roost. There’s a commotion in Broch Mordha and Jenny is a witness to it all. We might have opened a bigger can of worms than we anticipated.”

When Jenny arrived home with the three children, wee Jamie was bursting to tell them every detail of his orientation. They couldn’t deny him his big moment, but Ellen could see that Jenny was ready to burst. Jenny sent him upstairs to put his new uniform on, told the girls to tell their Da about their visit to the cake shop and said to Ellen and Claire: “Quick word in the flat. Ye won’t believe this.”

The three women headed for the flat and closed the door: “Ma, ye always thought yer brother Dougal was a lecherous, disgusting creep didn’t ye?”

“Always has been. What are ye saying Jenny?” Ellen asked, half suspecting she knew the answer.

“Turns out Dougal is young Malcolm’s father. Talk about keeping it in the family. Agnes McSweeney said Laoghaire’s mother is so ashamed, she’s selling up and moving away”, Jenny told them.

“What about poor Malcolm?” Claire asked.

“Well, Agnes also said Dougal’s wife was divorcing him anyway, so Laoghaire and Malcolm will be living with him. Unbelievable!” Jenny said, throwing her arms in the air.

“Well, Agnes is not always the most accurate source of information. I’m sure the family will be buzzing about it soon and I’ll hear about it all in detail”, Ellen told her.

“But that’s not all Ma”, Jenny added. “Agnes said that half the village suspected Jamie was the boy’s father, including Laoghaire’s mother. Can ye believe that? I told her if I’d heard that rumour I would have been down at that gift shop raising merry hell”, Jenny told her angrily.

Ellen looked at Claire, then back to Jenny: “Yes, I’m sure ye would Jenny. Probably with an axe.”

They heard wee Jamie calling out: “I’m in my school uniform. Come and look everyone!”

The three women left the flat and ooohed and aaahed at the proud lad who stood before them. Ian and the other Murray children ran into the living room and joined them. Jamie and Brian arrived home at precisely the right moment to join the excitement.

Claire made afternoon tea while wee Jamie told his parents and grandparents every detail of his orientation, his new teacher, the other children and his classroom-to-be.

Claire beckoned Jamie into the kitchen: “Jamie, you are not going to believe what happened in Broch Mordha today. Jenny witnessed it all. To cut a long story short, it seems Malcolm’s father is your uncle Dougal and Laoghaire’s mother is so angry and ashamed she’s leaving town. I think we’ll hear a lot more about this.”

Jamie kicked the table: “That bastard would have known that I was being implicated and was happy to sit back and let me carry the can. Christ, Ma willna believe it.”

“Surprisingly, she doesn’t seem to be that surprised. Jenny said Ellen always knew that Dougal was a lecherous, disgusting creep – her words, not mine”, Claire told him.

“Well, I’m happy to be off the hook but I feel for wee Malcolm”, Jamie said shaking his head.

“Exactly what I thought”, Claire agreed. “I hope the poor child doesn’t grow up with a sense of shame.”

The phone rang again. This time it was Ned, who spoke to Jamie: “I suspect ye might have heard about the ruckus that’s been caused by my wee snare. Laoghaire’s mother walked straight into it and told me the lad’s blood type. I pretended I didn’t know yours, rang her back twenty minutes later and said you couldn’t be the father, and practically heard the fireworks going off in seconds. It seems Laoghaire caved in and told her about Dougal.”

“Aye, it seems Jenny was in Broch Mordha today and the place is abuzz with it all”, Jamie replied. “I’m glad to be off the hook Ned, but I feel for the wee lad.”

“Well, it’s a wonder Dougal hasn’t been caught out before. He’s been sowing his wild oats for years. His divorce is going to cost him dearly. Anyway, let Ellen know I rang. I’m glad to have helped ye clear yer name Jamie.” Ned rang off. 

Jamie stood in silence for a moment, then turned to Claire: “That was Ned confirming what Jenny said. I feel like a weight’s been lifted from my shoulders. Thank goodness ye liked that vase Sassenach. And ye didna smash it over my head.”

Claire moved towards him, kissed him and smiled: “Everything’s working out isn’t it? I’ve got my interview in Edinburgh in a few days. Maybe we can stay overnight and dine out to celebrate.”

“Should I pack my kilt for the occasion?” he asked with an evocative expression.

“Well, it could come in handy. You know I can’t resist you in it and you never know what can happen when you’re celebrating, do you?” she replied, pinching his bum.

They had fond memories of the apartment they had stayed at last time they were in Edinburgh, so they booked it again and a few days later were on their way to the city. Jamie had packed his kilt. Claire had considered packing her Major’s uniform but decided against it. She would just wear a dress and jacket for the interview.

Jamie walked to the Army Reserve building with her, kissed her on the cheek and told her he’d wait for her in a café across the road.

He ordered coffee and cake, sat at a table in the bay window, and was leafing through a tourist magazine when he felt someone standing over him. It was Laoghaire.

“Can I have a word Jamie?” she asked.

“I think I’d prefer it if ye didn’t. I know about Dougal and Malcolm. I also know that ye allowed the rumours about me to continue when ye knew they weren’t true. The last few years have been difficult, being judged by some for something I didna do”, he told her.

“Aye, well Dougal wanted to get his divorce sorted out before he revealed that Malcolm was his. Now everything’s blown up in our faces”, she replied.

“If it’s pity ye’re looking for, you’ve come to the wrong person. I’m sorry poor Malcolm has been caught up in yer selfish games but ye made yer own bed, now ye and Dougal can lie in it. I’m very happy with a wonderful woman I love, so I’ll ask ye to leave me in peace now.” He knew he was being blunt, almost rude, but he felt entitled given the rumours that had circulated about him.

Laoghaire’s bottom lip quivered: “I saw yer lady, the one they call The Major. She’s very beautiful. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry Jamie.”

“Well, thank you and goodbye”, Jamie replied, raising the magazine to block his view of Laoghaire’s face. She quietly left.

He could feel himself internally seething as he tore his cake apart and drank his coffee, then he looked up and saw Claire approaching with a wide smile and waving. Claire was back. All was well with his world.


	21. Where to put a medal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Claire to say a final farewell to Portsmouth.

Any negativity Jamie had felt after speaking to Laoghaire was soon dispelled, as Claire ordered her tea and cake and launched into a description of her interview. She was quietly confident that she would be offered the job and that it would allow her to maintain her career and be a contributor to the family.

“You look a bit distant Jamie. Is there something you don’t like about what I’ve told you?” she asked with a look of concern.

“It all sounds perfect Sassenach. Just before ye arrived, Laoghaire turned up out of the blue to apologise to me. I was pretty candid with her. I really couldn’t believe her nerve”, Jamie told her.

“Bloody cheek. After hanging you out to dry for years, that’s too little, too late isn’t it? Surely she didn’t think you’d just forgive and forget so soon after finding out the truth?”, Claire said in an annoyed tone.

“Well, if she did, she was disappointed. But still, let’s focus on positives. Ye sound excited, and if ye’re happy, I’m happy”, he smiled as his hand slid over the table to hold hers. “When would ye start if ye get the job?”

“In about six weeks, which is perfect. Gives us time to sort out my cottage and stuff in Portsmouth and have that decadent holiday we deserve”, she said with a lick of her lips and raised eyebrows. “I should hear fairly soon. Fingers crossed.”

They both finished their drinks and cake and went for a walk. Jamie suggested they jump on a bus to Rosslyn Chapel, brought to world attention in _The Da Vinci Code._ The 15th century chapel was just the distraction they both needed and an opportunity for Claire to learn a little more about Scottish history.

As they returned on the bus, Claire received a phone call – she would receive an offer of employment by email the following day. She squealed and hugged Jamie as others looked on and smiled. When she was happy, her inner child shone through. 

“Let’s find ourselves a restaurant and celebrate Sassenach”, Jamie said as he kissed her. “Your first job in yer adopted country.”

They lashed out on an expensive restaurant and ate like horses. That and a shared bottle of wine left them bloated. They walked the short distance back to their apartment, talking about where they might spend their ‘decadent holiday’. Back at the apartment, Claire took out her iPad and was looking at luxurious hotels when she heard a throaty cough from Jamie. 

She looked up to see him naked, except for his kilt: “Oh my. My Fraser warrior in all his glory. I’ve gone from relaxed to randy in a second”, she said licking her lips and circling Jamie. She ran her hand over his bare flesh as she circled him: “You’re looking fine Jamie, very fine.”

She kissed his chest and slowly pulled up the kilt: “Ah yes, just as I like it. Nothing beneath but your glorious natural self.”

“Well, fair’s fair. Let’s see yer glorious natural self too”, he said sexily.

Claire did a slow striptease, touching Jamie as she went and wiggling at him. Finally, he could take it no longer: “My glorious natural cock is getting mighty hot under here. I might have to mount an invasion on Sassenach territory”, he threatened with a grin.

“I might have to counterattack Scottish zones … erogenous ones”, Claire teased as her hand ran up his thigh.

“This Scot would not resist your counterattack, in fact I’d welcome it”, he said trying not to laugh as Claire disappeared beneath his kilt.

Soon, he was leaning on the wall, doing his best to remain standing, as Claire worked her mouth over those erogenous zones. He slowly unbuckled his kilt and, lifted her to the bed: “Right, ye asked for it. Prepare for invasion!” he said mock-seriously as he lifted her legs and penetrated her. By the time he came, they were both sighing and laughing so much, Claire fell off the bed.

“I do believe we just acted out the battle of Prestonpans”, Claire laughed.

“Aye, the Scot definitely prevailed”, Jamie smiled.

“That’s alright. The Sassenach loved every moment”, she giggled.

Jamie lifted her on to the bed: “I think I’ll have to wear a kilt every day Sassenach.”

They lay together on the bed touching one another as Jamie whispered in Claire’s ear: “I love ye. Yer face is my heart, Sassenach, and the love of ye is my soul.”

Claire’s hand ran down his cheek: “The war taught me to cherish the present because tomorrow might not ever come to pass. Thank God I found you.”

After a sound sleep, they woke the next morning to breakfast being delivered to their apartment. They ate, had an intimate spa, packed and prepared for their drive back to _Lallybroch._

They were home before lunch and enjoying a cuppa with the family as Ellen told them of the numerous phone calls she’d had confirming the Dougal/Laoghaire fiasco. Like Claire, Ellen thought Laoghaire had a nerve to approach Jamie, even if was to apologise.

When Jamie told Ellen and Brian of their plan to drive to Portsmouth via a holiday destination, they asked if they could travel with them as far as the Cotswolds. Ellen was keen to have a holiday at Castle Combe and Brian fancied a side trip to Bath. They hoped they could pick them up on the way back to Scotland as well. Claire was full of enthusiasm for the idea, thinking they deserved a break. Planning was soon underway.

Two weeks later, they waved farewell to Ian, Jenny and the children and headed south. Brian and Ellen had rented a beautiful cottage for their stay at Castle Combe, and Claire and Jamie would stay there with them for a night and then move on. The following day, Jamie and Claire headed for _Lainston House,_ a five star hotel in Winchester, the cathedral city. It was close enough to Portsmouth for Claire’s dealings and far enough to feel like a holiday.

John Grey had organised a lunch at the hospital to formally farewell Claire. And she had papers to sign for the sale of her cottage and a final sorting of her items in storage before shipping them to Scotland. It was a final farewell to her former lifestyle and a commitment to life in Scotland with Jamie – and she was totally comfortable with it.

When they arrived at the lunch, it was clear to Jamie that John and some other staff members at the hospital had a very close relationship with Claire. She had served with a handful of them in Iraq and others since arriving at the hospital. They had shared good times and bad. He felt a little like an outsider, particularly with her closeness to John. He had to acknowledge that there was a bit of jealousy as John held her close, kept his arm around her and fussed over her. He wondered if they’d ever had a relationship and, if so, why it had ended.

When he got a moment alone with Claire, he commented on John’s affection for her and asked if they’d ever been a couple. Claire grinned: “Hardly Jamie. John is what Geillis once described as “bent as a hairpin”.” Jamie looked none the wiser until Claire elaborated: “He’s gay Jamie. No, our closeness is related to the fact that I saved his life once. On the day Geillis died.”

Jamie was now fascinated. Claire had never mentioned this before. When he had some minutes alone with John, he asked: “I understand that you were there the day Geillis died. She was very special to Claire.”

“She was. It was a dreadful day for a number of people here today, myself included. If it weren’t for Claire, I wouldn’t be alive. Did she mention the Royal Red Cross she was awarded?” John asked.

“No, what’s that?” Jamie asked.

“It’s a medal for bravery which is given to very few military nurses. Claire was awarded it for climbing in under debris to clear my airways and help me with breathing. My legs and arms were trapped and I couldn’t see a thing, but she heard me spluttering and somehow crawled in to clear my nose and mouth. She talked to me and sheltered my face from falling dust so I didn’t suffocate. Others were slowly removing the timbers and crumbled brickwork from above me until they could safely drag me out. If it weren’t for her, I’d almost certainly be dead. You tend to have a special place in your heart for someone who would do that”, John said with emotion.

“What did she do with the medal? She’s never mentioned it”, Jamie replied in amazement.

“As I recall, she told our Commander he could shove it up his arse. She refused to go to the medal ceremony, saying she only did what any half decent human being would have done. I think he sent it to her in the post. I thought he’d be angry, but he was actually quite amused. Privately, he was inclined to agree with Claire that Operation Telic should never have happened”, John chuckled.

“Aye, she would say that”, Jamie grinned proudly. “I’m surprised she didn’t shove it up there herself. I canna wait to tell Ian.”


	22. The best is yet to come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Claire says farewell to Portsmouth, she and Jamie look to the future.

The following day, Jamie helped Claire with repacking her stored belongings and disposing of things she decided she no longer wanted. The removalists collected the boxes and furniture ready for delivery to Scotland.

As they were walking to the real estate agents so Claire could sign the sales agreement, Jamie stopped and kissed her: “Ye’re absolutely sure about this? No last-minute misgivings?”

“None. I still have to work out how I’ll investment the money once the cottage is sold but I have no doubts about being in Scotland with you. I love you, _Lallybroch,_ Scotland, your family and I suspect my next job. And did I mention that I adore you?”, she replied. “I just want one last walk along West Wittering Beach before I leave Portsmouth for good.”

Claire signed the papers; they took that walk along the beach and then they headed back to Winchester for some rest and relaxation. _Lainston House_ was luxurious, with expansive grounds and comfortable suites. They ate, walked, made love, read, swam, made love and enjoyed being a couple with no commitments. Jamie did make one concession to work – a list of things to be done when he got back. He found it difficult at times, with Claire kissing his neck and running her hands through his hair. He certainly wasn’t complaining.

By the time they left to pick up Brian and Ellen, they were well rested. As he drove, Jamie brought up the subject of the medal and where Claire had told the commander to shove it. Claire laughed: “I still maintain that everyone involved in that war should have got a medal. I didn’t like being picked out for doing what I did for another human being and friend.”

“Can I tell Ian?” Jamie asked with a grin. “I think he’d love it.”

Claire mulled on that for a minute: “I’m not sure. It concerns me that Ian lost a limb trying to save an Iraqi child and didn’t receive a medal, but I helped a fellow officer without injuring myself and I did. I think it speaks volumes for how much a human life is worth – is a British officer’s life worth more than that of an Iraqi child? That’s a loaded question. I guess that’s why I told the commander to stick the medal where the sun doesn’t shine.”

Jamie saw the issue from her perspective: “Aye, I see yer point, but I think he’d love how ye handled it.”

“I suppose he would”, she smirked. “Yes, you can tell him if you want to, but we might need to have that conversation about whose life is worth what.”

As Jamie drove, some ideas about what to do with the sale money for her cottage plus the payout from the Army were beginning to form in Claire’s head, but nothing had settled firmly in her mind. The value of her cottage had risen considerably but she didn’t plan to count her chickens until they hatched. She would wait until she knew precisely how much she had to spend or invest. 

They were delighted to get to Castle Combe and see Brian and Ellen looking happy and relaxed. They had enjoyed their time in the Cotswolds: “Much as I love the bairns, it was wonderful to have our own space and peace and quiet”, Ellen smiled. “Walking through the Cotswolds villages and seeing all the comfortable cottages was enough to convince me that a grand old home is not suited to us oldies”, Brian added.

“Ye’d never leave _Lallybroch_ ”, Jamie scoffed. “It’s in yer DNA Da.”

“That may be so Jamie, but my DNA doesna get me up and down those stairs and my legs aren’t as keen as they were either”, Brian smiled.

Claire laughed aloud when Ellen suggested they might need to invest in one of those stairlifts “like the one in _Ab Fab_ ”. “You’d never get the children off it”, she told them.

They packed Brian and Ellen’s belongings in the SUV and Claire took over driving. They took their time getting back to Scotland, stopping overnight in York en route. Claire remembered how exhausted she was when she did the Portsmouth to Edinburgh drive when bringing Ian home.

When they arrived back at _Lallybroch,_ there was great excitement amongst the Murrays. The children asked leading questions about their holiday and both Claire and Ellen were well aware they were fishing to see if they had any presents. They eventually weakened and produced some wrapped gifts for each of the children, on condition they ate their dinner and got ready for bed.

Jamie had suggested that Claire’s belongings be stored in a second barn, some distance from the house. It was a solid old stone building which had been used as storage for a long time. Jenny confirmed that everything had been delivered and stored and the furniture covered until they decided where things were to be placed permanently.

The following day, Claire walked down to the old barn with Jamie and Brian. She was seeing the barn in a different light: “I’ve seen a number of old barns converted to houses on our trip and I have to say I love the old, rustic look. Do you think this could be spruced up and maybe extended?”

“I havena considered it before”, Brian replied rubbing his chin. It’d be quite a job and probably need an architect and building approval. Let’s think about it.”

Claire had planted a seed in Brian’s mind and it quickly germinated. When they returned to the house, he searched the files for a plan of the property. He and Claire sat at the dining table, where he pointed out the various outbuildings: “The old stone barn is here”, he said pointing to the plan. “The estate is on three titles. The main house and buildings are here”, he said pointing to the largest title, “and there are two other titles. The old stone barn was close to a traditional crofter’s cottage that fell into disrepair years ago. What was left of the stone cottage was used in other buildings.”

Jamie joined them and could see Claire’s mind working overtime: “What did ye have in mind Sassenach?”

“Well, I think if the old barn could be converted and extended, it could be a good place for you and I to live. Then Brian and Ellen could have the flat for some privacy. Alternatively, Brian and Ellen might like to live somewhere that’s single storey. What do you think?” Claire asked.

“I think it’s a grand idea, but it’d cost a lot of money”, Brian replied.

“I’m about to sell my cottage in Portsmouth and I want to invest the money or use it to build up an asset”, Claire suggested.

“I think we should talk to Ned”, Jamie suggested. “He’s handled Da and Ma’s investments and knows this property well. Perhaps we could invite him for lunch and mull it over.” It was agreed that Ned’s legal and investment expertise would be valuable, and Brian arranged it.

While Ellen and Jenny prepared lunch, Claire and Brian set up the property plans on a pinboard. When they’d eaten, Brian, Ellen, Jamie, Claire and Ned sat in front of the board while Ian and Jenny kept the children out of the way.

Ned, now quite old but sharp as a tack, listened to Claire’s ideas and referred to the pinboard: “Ye see, the three titles are all in Brian and Ellen’s names. Two of the titles have access to the road to Broch Mordha, but the third doesn’t unless an easement is created. The largest title with the main house has a long drive, but the stone barn is sitting on a title that could easily have a road built to the main road. Claire, I like yer idea but ye need to be aware that if ye build on the Fraser land the building would belong to Brian and Ellen. I wouldn’t advise that. Things change and we canna predict how and what.”

Brian was rubbing his chin: “What if we signed over a title or two to Claire and Jamie? And left the remainder to Jenny and Ian in our will?”

Jamie wasn’t sure: “Would the farm be a viable enterprise if it was split like that?”

Ned nodded: “That’s a good question Jamie. We need Jenny and Ian’s opinion on that. Ian couldna work a farm on his own now but I’m sure he and Jenny would want to consider the future for their children.” He turned to look at Claire: “As would ye if ye have children with Jamie.”

All eyes were on Claire: “No pressure though” she smiled.

Ned grinned: “Oh no, the continuance of the Fraser line is of no concern”, he laughed. “But seriously, I think ye all need to address this. None of us live forever and it would be better for everyone if the future of _Lallybroch_ was carefully thought out now. Ye have six adults and four children living in the old home now, and all those children will grow older and bigger. I’ll come back in a week or two, when ye’ve had time to talk to Ian and Jenny about it. Any decision will need to take into account how much money ye have to spend anyway.”

After coffee and cake, Ned bade them farewell and headed back to Edinburgh. 

That night, as they prepared for bed, Claire asked Jamie: “Can you imagine living anywhere other than this house? It’s been your home forever.”

“True. It’s been Da and Jenny’s home forever too, and Ma for most of her life. I agree with Ned – it’s better to think this out now. Ma and Da are getting older and Ian’s physical disability will affect him for the rest of his life”, Jamie replied.

Claire laid on the bed looking around their flat: “I do love this flat though, and that you worked so hard to get it ready for us to be together. The first place we made love and so many surfaces since”, she laughed.

“Aye, it is special. I couldna wait for ye to get here and have ye in my arms. Ye’ve made me a very happy man Sassenach”, he told her as he hugged her close and kissed her forehead. “Think ye could make me happy again tonight? Ye kneeling on me and me holding yer hips as ye ride me like a Harley?”

“Oh, I think that’s very doable. Should I wear my leather jacket?’, she asked with a salacious grin.

“As long as ye’re not wearing anything else”, Jamie said with a look of eager anticipation.


	23. A can of worms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few delightful surprises for the family.

The ideas were flowing in the Fraser-Murray household. Realising there was some discussion of a change in living arrangements, wee Jamie put in his bid for a large playground, while the girls preferred a jumping castle. Surprisingly enough, neither of these ideas were taken too seriously. By the next day, the children had either forgotten or come up with a new idea.

What did surprise Brian and Ellen was Jenny’s stated preference to live in a single-storey home. Jenny had lived in _Lallybroch_ her entire life, but she had seen how difficult it was for Ian to navigate the old house. He couldn’t safely tackle the large stairs to the children’s rooms and the bathroom was an obstacle course for him. He acknowledged that he would never be able to run a farm of any size, but he did want to contribute to the property by helping Jamie. Everyone agreed that Brian and Ellen deserved their privacy and comfort as they grew older. 

New ideas began to emerge. If the Murrays weren’t living in the large house, the flat Jamie had created could be extended to give Brian and Ellen another room and self-contained privacy. There would no need for them to tackle the stairs on a daily basis. 

Jamie and Claire could take over the Laird’s bedroom and have more space for an office each. The library, which hadn’t been used for that purpose since Ian came home and the Murray family expanded, could revert back to its former glory. There would still be plenty of rooms for guests. Gradually, things were falling into place and there was no real disagreement, rather a concern about how it would all be paid for.

Claire was upstairs looking carefully at some of the rooms when Jamie appeared in the doorway: “Sassenach, come with me for a moment will ye? I want to show ye something.”

“What do you want to show me?” she asked as she walked towards him and slipped her hand into his. He pointed up the landing and led her to a heavy old door which opened with a creak.

“This wee room was the nursery when I was a lad. I spent my first year sleeping here, where Ma and Da could hear me if I woke.” He then led her towards a large tapestry and pulled it back: “Behind here is the door into the Laird’s bedroom, where they slept. They would creep in and check on me, and when I woke in the morning, I’d call out to them like a wee alarm clock.”

“The Scottish version of a Swiss cuckoo clock”, Claire smiled, looking into the Laird’s room. When she turned back to Jamie, she found him on one knee looking up at her eagerly: “Claire, I want us to be married and, God willing, have bairns of our own. Will ye marry me?”

Claire fell to her knees and kissed him: “I can’t think of a single thing I want more than to be your wife, Jamie” she said tearfully, as her arms held him close.

He pulled a ring box from his trouser pocket and opened it to reveal a silver thistle engagement ring. He removed it and slipped it on to Claire’s ring finger: “How did you know it would fit perfectly?” she asked, as she admired the ring.

“I took one of the rings ye wear from yer jewellery box and the jeweller worked out the size. It’s a traditional Scottish design. Does it feel right?” he asked.

“It feels perfect. It’s beautiful. I’m a bit surprised you didn’t wear your kilt to propose to me”, she smiled.

“If I’d shown up in the doorway in my kilt, ye’d have assumed I was as randy as a bull – which I am, of course – but we can talk about that later. Right now, come and show the ring to Ma and Da. I told them I had something to tell them and they’re waiting in the flat”, he said excitedly.

Jamie entered the flat first, ready to burst forth: “Ma and Da, please congratulate my fiancée, the future Mrs Jamie Fraser.”

Ellen squealed with excitement and embraced Claire, then Jamie. Brian slapped Jamie on the back: “About time too” he smiled, as he reached out to hug Claire. “A match made in heaven. Now let’s see this ring.”

Jamie had snuck a bottle of champagne into the flat, which they drank together, and they agreed that they’d wait for Jenny and Ian to notice the ring. “I want to see her reaction”, Ellen said with a wink: “Keep it under wraps until we’re eating dinner.”

Claire had already made dessert for the family, so Jenny and Ellen worked on the main course. When it was served, the family ate together. It was Maggie who first noticed: “Oooh, Aunty Claire. That’s very pretty. Where did ye get that?” she asked. Jenny looked over nonchalantly: “What’s so pretty Maggie?” she asked. “That nice shiny ring on Aunty Claire’s finger”, Maggie replied.

Jenny’s eyes popped and a wide smile appeared on her face: “Jamie Fraser, is that what I think it is?” she asked.

“Well, that depends on what ye think it is Janet. Ye can ask my fiancée”, he grinned.

Jenny jumped up and ran round the table to embrace Claire: “Finally! He finally asked ye. I began to wonder if it’d ever happen.” Then she stopped, looking serious: “Ye’re not in the family way are ye Claire?”

“No, I’m not Jenny”, Claire blushed.

Ian looked at his wife: “Christ Jenny, ye’re as subtle as a brick. Come here and give me a kiss Claire. I’m very happy to have a Major in the family.”

Claire moved to Ian’s side and kissed him: “We’d never have met if it hadn’t been for you Ian Murray”, she reminded him.

“Aye, Cupid’s my middle name”, he laughed. 

Wee Jamie looked up from his meal: “What’s all the fuss about?”

Jamie laughed: “Claire has promised to marry me lad. She’ll be Mrs Jamie Fraser when we get wed.”

Maggie looked up: “When ye get married, will ye get a ring Uncle Jamie? Da’s got one.”

“I suppose I might”, Jamie smiled at her.

“And will I be a bridesmaid?” Kitty asked, suddenly remembering that weddings had bridesmaids and flower girls. She and Maggie were now excited: “Both of us? Can we have pretty dresses and baskets full of petals? Can we?” Maggie asked, jumping up and down with Kitty.

Ellen threw her arms in the air: “We’ve opened a can of worms now!”

Wee Jamie, previously unimpressed, looked at her with interest: “If Uncle Jamie and Aunty Claire get married, do I get cans of worms?” he asked enthusiastically.

Jamie looked at Claire with a grin: “Maybe we should have just eloped Sassenach.”

The second bottle of champagne was revealed, and the adults drank it with their dessert.

Once the children were in bed (not a simple task given the excitement about worms and bridesmaids), the six adults sat together in the lounge talking about everything from wedding catering to bathrooms for an amputee. Jamie was all for a quiet wedding with close family and friends, while Ellen and Jenny were considering family and friends who might be invited. 

It was Brian who intervened in an attempt to prevent a wedding that was bigger than Ben Hur: “Ye canna invite so many when Claire has no family. It’s her wedding to Jamie, not her wedding to half of Scotland”, he insisted. “We need to help them have a wedding of their choice.”

“I really only have a handful of friends I know from Portsmouth to invite. I think I might ask John Grey to give me away. We’ve been friends for years and he put my name forward for the job in Edinburgh”, Claire said quietly.

Ellen felt a twinge of sadness for Claire. While the Frasers, Mackenzies and Murrays all had large families (some of whom would definitely _not_ be invited), Claire had no-one. Brian was right. It was Claire and Jamie’s day and who was invited was up to them.

More important for the moment was what to tell Ned when he returned to hear about their proposals for titles and buildings. The pinboard was centre stage again as the gang of six nutted out the possibilities. By the time Ned returned for a second lunch, there was a general consensus on how they wished to proceed: conversion of the stable and a single storey extension to house the Murrays, an extended flat for Brian and Ellen and the remainder of _Lallybroch_ for Claire, Jamie and the family business.

Ned listened to their plans and suggested some amendments in the form of road access, easements and allocation of titles. As the solicitor acting for Claire in the sale of her Portsmouth cottage, he also had good news: “Do ye expect to get the asking price for yer cottage Claire?” he asked.

“Not really. I thought the agent was just preparing for possible buyers to knock down the price”, Claire replied.

“Well, ye’ll be pleased to know that there were two prospective buyers, both outbidding the other, and there’s an offer in writing for £18,000 above the asking price. It’s subject to finance, but the agent believes that won’t be a problem. They were both taken with the views and location”, Ned told her with a smile. “It should all be settled in a few months.”


	24. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So much is happening at 'Lallybroch' in the lead-up to Christmas.
> 
> I'm unable to give credit to the person who created the gif at the head of the chapter, which is a shame as it's gorgeous. If anyone knows who the creator is, please let me know.
> 
> My best wishes for a wonderful Christmas. Please take care. Sadly, this Christmas will not be the same as others, but that is the way it is. Let's hope 2021 is an improvement.

The details of the property were nutted out: Brian and Ellen would gift one title to Jenny and Ian, with Jenny’s inheritance being granted in advance in the form of a home from the renovated barn. The investments Ned had made for Brian should cover that. Brian and Ellen would retain one title with an easement to the road – it would be their emergency fund if things went amiss. It would still be a working part of the farm.

 _Lallybroch_ itself would be transferred into Jamie and Claire’s names. This was on the understanding that Claire would fund renovations to the house from her property sale, including building work to extend the flat for Ellen and Brian. The sale of her property would cover that easily and she could invest the rest of her money.

By the end of the day, Claire was not only engaged – she was set to become a Scottish landowner with her husband-to-be.

Ned had arranged for an architect and engineer to come to the property to determine the stability of the old barn and peg out an area for an extension to house the Murrays.

While the Murrays sat with Brian and jotted down ideas, Claire disappeared into the flat to ready her uniform for her first meeting with the Army Reserve recruits she’d be training. She hadn’t worn it since she left Portsmouth to live at _Lallybroch_ and tried it on to be sure it still fitted. As she stood in front of the long mirror on the wardrobe door, Jamie walked into the flat: “Oh my Sassenach, I do think I’m falling in love all over again. I havena seen ye in that uniform since last Christmas when we met and ye kissed me under the mistletoe. The day ye changed my life forever. I think the man downstairs is about to stand to attention”, he teased.

“Well, so far we’ve had kilts and leather jackets to stir the loins, what say you to screwing a decorated Major _in uniform_?”, Claire said letting her hair out of a chignon and tossing her head as her hair fell around her shoulders.

“I say ‘yes please’”, Jamie said running his hand up her leg to find she had no underwear on.

“Sassenach, ye do intend wearing underwear when ye’re working I hope?” Jamie smiled.

“Well, I will when I’m working but all work and no play makes for a very dull Major”, Claire said as she shed her skirt, licked her lips and posed like a model in a saucy magazine.

“Now ye’re really asking for it Major. I want ye sitting on my face _now_ ”, he commanded.

“A good Major always does as she’s told”, Claire replied as she pushed him onto the bed and knelt astride his mouth, him holding her thighs as he stimulated her. She was loud and excited by the time she rose, pulled off his pants and returned the favour. Their bodies became entwined and eventually they ended up on the floor, Claire on all fours and Jamie riding her from behind. They were embracing on the floor when Claire laughed and told him: “The uniform needed dry cleaning anyway.”

As they laid on the rug, Jamie pulled her close: “Ye do realise that once all this building and renovating is done, we’ll have a host of rooms to make love in. Not quite a year since I met ye and things are changing all the time. Every time I think I canna be any happier, something else happens to bring me joy. Claire, I think maybe ye should stop taking the pill. We’ve got a lot of space to fill with bairns.”

Claire was a little surprised: “Are you sure you want to produce little Frasers so soon?”

“It could take a while for ye to get pregnant. Some people take a few years. I can’t wait to see ye carrying my child”, Jamie assured her.

“Well, we’ve been practising for a while I suppose. I’ll just finish this packet of pills then. Like you say, it could take a while”, Claire replied, kissing him.

A trip into Broch Mordha the following day to leave her uniform for dry cleaning revealed that the gift shop was now empty. All traces of Laoghaire, her mother, Malcolm and Dougal had disappeared. It was still a source of tittle tattle for those who had nothing better to do or talk about, according to Jenny. Claire was sure that Jamie being engaged to his “Sassenach Major” would be a good source of gossip when it was found out. She was confident her ears would be burning.

Claire went into Edinburgh the following week to sign papers relating to the sale of her property and meet the Army Reserve recruits. Ned barely recognised her in her uniform but stood to attention when she entered his office. After signing the papers, Ned gave her a first draft proposal for the new converted barn to take home.

Her meeting with the Army Reserves was largely a ‘meet and greet’ and an opportunity for Claire to outline the programme she had developed in agreement with her bosses. She enjoyed being back in the workplace, doing what she had been so familiar with for years. The recruits were keen and interested, which spurred her on.

On her return to Lallybroch, the draft proposal for the new converted barn was attached to the pin board. The Murrays loved it. The old barn was to be an open plan living area: kitchen, living and dining. The architect had used the high ceilings to create a mezzanine playing area, which they decided to keep a secret from the children.

In the extension were five bedrooms (one large and four smaller) and two bathrooms, one specifically designed for Ian. The whole house would have underfloor heating, generated by geothermal power. It was a major labour saver for the Murrays, but the open plan area also had a wood burning stove to add an element of homeliness. The design was ideal for Ian, who was inspecting it intently: “Look at that bathroom – a wide seat in the shower, non-slip tiles on the floor, handrails on the toilet, special shower heads and dispensers – they’ve thought of everything. And no obstacles. This’ll be a life changer.” Jenny looked delighted. Ian had adjusted well but anything that would make his life easier was a bonus.

“Look at this Ian”, Claire pointed out. “Under the sink is a pull-out seat so you can sit to clean your teeth, wash your hands and shave. And the mirror is longer so that it suits you sitting and Jenny standing. Plus, there’s a built-in laundry basket for your dirty clothes and towels so you don’t slip on them.”

Ian was keen: “When can we move in?”

“They can start on the old barn now and the extension in Spring”, Claire answered.   
“It says in these notes that the first priority is to get the old barn walls reinforced and improve the roofing, incorporating sunlights. Once that’s done, they can begin fitting out the barn, doing the flooring and so on.” She handed Ian the architect’s notes. He sat reading them like an excited child, passing each page to Jenny as he finished reading it. They were like two kids with a plan for Christmas.

When the workmen arrived to reinforce the walls, Ian and Brian were there watching them dig piers and footings, pour concrete, repoint the walls with traditional lime mortar and insert steel rods to support the structure. It gave Ian a renewed enthusiasm for life and Brian got the satisfaction of seeing Jenny prepare for a happy, secure and safe environment for her family: “Ellen and I get to see the joy Jenny’s family can get from their inheritance before we die. I’m so glad we decided to do this”, Brian smiled.

The addition of skylights in the new roofing cast plenty of light, and once the flooring was complete the old barn had taken on a new but traditional appearance.

By the time the barn was secure and watertight, the builders moved into _Lallybroch_ and went about extending the flat that Jamie had created for he and Claire. It would give Ellen and Brian a wonderful additional space when they moved in. They also worked on the special project for the Murray family.

Claire was busy in her new job, Jamie was preparing the farm for winter, Jenny and Ellen were making Christmas puddings and cakes, and the children were wondering what Santa might bring. Ian and Brian were either helping Jamie or keeping an eye on the building works. And Christmas was getting closer.

Everyone was involved in the raising of the Christmas tree. Jamie found a suitable size pine on the farm and felled it, bringing it to the house on a large trailer. Jamie, Brian and the builders carried it into the living area and set it up in a trough full of rocks and sand. Ellen and Jenny dug out the large box of Christmas tree decorations and sorted them out on the table. The children enjoyed decorating the bottom of the tree, while Jamie brought in a ladder to place the rest of the decorations on the higher branches.

The defining moment was the addition of the coloured lights which, once hung carefully, were turned on amid cries of excitement from the Murray children.

Claire put her arm around Ellen’s shoulders: “You’ll miss your grandchildren when they move to the old barn and house.”

“Claire, I can visit them, and they can visit us, but I’ll know they can go home, and Brian and I will have a bit of peace. The work being done on the flat will make it perfect for us as we grow older. You and Jamie will have yer own space, and Brian and I will have ours”, Ellen replied. “And one day, when Brian and I are both pushing up the daisies, we’ll have died knowing that our children are safe, loved and there for each other. What more could we want? I think that’s the best Christmas present I could have. What’s the best present you could have, my dear.”

“This. Being with Jamie and being part of a family. It’s been a long time since I had that”, Claire told her. “And I love it.”


	25. Traditions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Traditions - old and new.

Christmas morning began before 5am, when the Murray children woke and ran downstairs to see what was in their stockings, which had been hung each side of the large fireplace. Even wee Ian was able to enjoy this year’s Christmas morning, although he had little idea what was going on. Years of experience had prompted Ellen to place a labelled box for each child beneath their stocking, so they had somewhere to put the presents from their stockings: pens, pencils, drawing books, chocolates, hats, gloves, small toys and a multitude of other things.

The sound of squeals of excitement woke Jamie and Claire. Jamie opened one eye and kissed Claire’s neck: “Merry Christmas Sassenach.”

A sleepy Claire rolled into him: “The anniversary of the day we met. We can never forget that”, she smiled. “I hope someone remembered the mistletoe.”

“I think we’ve advanced from mistletoe Claire. We’ve progressed to kilts, leather jackets and uniforms. I’ll bring ye a cup of coffee. No chance of sleeping any longer I’m afraid”, Jamie laughed.

Claire sat up in bed, contemplating how much her life had changed, until Jamie opened the door, and a conga line of Murray children ran into the room brandishing some of the presents from their stockings. They piled on to the bed, while Jamie lifted wee Ian up so he could join them. Maggie had helped him put on his new hat and gloves, which looked at least one size too big for him. He crawled across the bed so Claire could hug him; he was a quiet but affectionate child.

About five minutes later, Claire was saved by Jenny calling out to the children to have their special Christmas breakfast – banana smoothies with ice cream.

Jamie sat beside her on the bed as she sipped her coffee: “I got ye a special present that I want to give you while we’re alone. I hope it won’t upset ye, but John sent it to me, and I had it framed”, he said handing her a wrapped rectangular parcel.

Claire was curious and opened it immediately. There was a box inside, and when she opened it there was a framed photograph of her and Geillis. She gasped and put her hand over her mouth as a few tears fell down her cheeks.

“I’ve never seen this photo before. I had no idea it even existed”, Claire whispered. “It must have been taken not long before Geillis died. Oh Christ, I miss her.”

“When I was talking to John in Portsmouth, he told me a bit about the incredible friendship ye had and I thought it was important that ye remember her with fondness, not sadness. He said he had a photograph he took in Iraq that was one of his favourites. Did I do the wrong thing?” Jamie said with concern.

“No, no. Not at all. She was an important part of my life, but I had very few photos of her, and none from our time in Iraq. I love it Jamie. Thank you. I must write to John and thank him too.” Claire ran a finger over the frame: “She was beautiful. That long red hair matched her personality – fiery but fun.”

They both showered and threw on some comfortable clothes before joining the others for breakfast. The personal gift giving wouldn’t happen until after lunch, so the children were busy with the goodies from their stockings. The adults were kept busy reading their new books to them, with wee Jamie able to read some of the words as his finger crossed the page. 

Ian sat with Jamie recalling the previous Christmas, when he and wee Jamie had arrived unexpectedly at the hospital in Portsmouth: “I thought that’d be the most miserable Christmas of my life, closely followed by the previous Christmas in Iraq. Turned out quite well didn’t it?”

“Aye, it’s hard to believe it was only twelve months ago. What a year - you meeting wee Ian for the first time, me engaged to Claire, a new house for ye being built … a busy year, but a good one”, Jamie reflected. “I wouldna change a moment.”

As they talked, Claire was giving the Murray children Christmas hairdos, with tinsel built into the girls’ braids and a cut and blow dry for wee Jamie to go with his elf ears. This time, wee Ian wanted to be included and enjoyed everything, except the spray of water on his head as Claire cut. He soon forgot it when Jenny scooped him up, popped a chocolate in his mouth and called him her “handsome wee lad”.

Much of lunch had been prepared in advance, and the aroma of stuffed turkey, vegetables and fresh bread rolls in the oven soon filled the air. The table was laid with Christmas crackers and serviettes which, with the Christmas tree and lights, made the dining room very festive. There was a large log fire burning and bowls of chestnuts had been prepared to roast on the fire after lunch.

There was only one guest for lunch, and that was Ned. He was as much a close friend as the family solicitor and the confirmed bachelor often ate with them at Christmas. The gathering was blessed with an oversupply of food and drink. It was a happy, gluttonous affair.

After lunch, there was gift giving. The children were wound up with excitement; the adults were much the same. The biggest surprise was the gift from Brian and Ellen to the Murrays – the almost complete converted barn. Everyone donned their coats for the walk to the building site, which the builders had cleared for the inspection. Ellen had placed a ribbon over the door and carried a pair of scissors for the “unveiling”. Jenny handed the scissors to Ian, who was sitting in his wheelchair: “You can do the honours” she said kissing his cheek.

Once Ian had cut the ribbon and the door was opened, everyone entered. For the first time that day, the children were rendered speechless. Maggie looked around, her eyes twice their normal size, and said in awe: “Are we really going to live in this beautiful house?”. 

Wee Jamie looked up: “What’s the upstairs for?”

Brian said proudly: “The upstairs is called a mezzanine, and it’s a special play area for all you children.”

He’d barely got the words from his mouth when the children dashed across the barn and clambered up the stairs. Ellen had placed a chest with a few toys up there with a small table and chairs. The children were enthralled. Jenny followed them, helping wee Ian. Ian sat back in his wheelchair grinning like the Cheshire Cat: “Well, I canna be asked to clean up the toys now, but that’s fine because I’ll no’ be able to see the mess.”

Claire held Jamie’s arm: “The only problem now will be getting them to come down. The barn looks amazing.”

Jamie laughed and turned to Ian and Brian: “Well Ian, what do ye think? Can ye see yerself living here?”

Ian held Brian’s arm: “I love it. _Lallybroch_ is a beautiful home, but it’s difficult for a man missing a leg. The entire living area here is flat, easily manoeuvred and manageable for me. I think it’ll make life easier for Jenny too. Once the new wing has been added, I’ll be happy as a pig in mud. I canna thank ye and Ellen enough Brian.” 

“Ye deserve it Ian. The past few years have been hard for ye and Jenny, and now ye can have yer own home and plan for yer future. It looks like the children won’t be under yer feet either”, Brian smiled.

As they were talking, Ellen had joined Jenny and the children on the mezzanine floor and urged Jamie and Claire to join her: “Come here and look at the living area from the mezzanine. It’s magnificent.”

Jamie and Claire climbed the stairs and looked down on Brian and Ian: “Jamie, this was such a great idea, but I do think there needs to be a rug at the bottom of the stairs in case anyone falls. There are plenty of rugs in _Lallybroch_ to choose from and we could get some foam to put under it.”

“Trust ye to think of injuries Major”, Jamie smiled. “We’ll sort it out before they move in. I promise.”

Claire had been so right when she said it would be hard to get the children down from the mezzanine. The only way they could be enticed was with the promise of the remaining presents and pudding. 

Back at _Lallybroch,_ Ned received a bottle of the finest whisky, Brian and Ellen had a box of handmade presents from the children, Jamie got a Fraser red dress tartan waistcoat and Claire received a matching red tartan sash and a Fraser brooch: “To welcome ye into the clan”, Ellen said kissing her cheek.

When Jamie left the room to get some more firewood, Claire crept into the flat and waited for him to return. When he looked for her, he found her standing in the bedroom doorway, a spray of mistletoe over her head: “There are some traditions we need to keep and this is one of them”, she smiled. “Happy first anniversary Jamie.”

A broad smile filled his face as he swooped her up and kissed her long and hard: “Ye werena the first lass I kissed, but I swear ye’ll be the last Sassenach.”


	26. Lineage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As tends to happen with Jamie and Claire, things are moving along apace.

The Frasers were geared up to celebrate Hogmanay with the extended Murray family in Ian’s previous home, but Claire wasn’t feeling well. She told Jamie he should go without her, but he decided to remain at _Lallybroch_ with her. Any ideas he had of a night of passion were soon dispelled when Claire was fast asleep by 9pm. While she slept soundly, he read and saw the New Year in with his own bottle of whisky and farm planning.

When there was no sign of Claire waking, he crept into their bedroom and snuck into the bed. She didn’t stir.

The following morning, Claire had some cramping. She was inclined to think this was a reaction to coming off the pill. 

As the days went by there were enough tell-tale signs to tell her that she should consider a pregnancy test. The next time she went into Edinburgh for work, she stopped at the chemist to pick up a test and disappeared into the ladies’ loos. She knew that only urine that contains a sufficient level of hCG can cause the test’s dye to stain in a way that shows a positive result. Pink for positive; blue for negative. She sat on the toilet seat for a few minutes with her eyes closed, then peeped. Pink. She thought she’d be excited, but instead she was having an inner debate about the pros and cons of becoming a mother. And she'd been convinced that this wouldn’t happen so quickly.

As a precaution, she’d bought a second test and decided to try it again the following morning, at home. The second test practically screamed at her: _accept it lady, you’re up the duff._

She emerged from the bathroom, flashing pink test in hand, and sat on the bed. Jamie was still lying in the bed, reluctant to emerge from the warm bedding: “What’s that in yer hand Sassenach?” he asked nonchalantly.

She held up the test, saying nothing. “What the hell’s that?” Jamie asked.

“That, Jamie Fraser, is my second pregnancy test. Do you want a boy or a girl?” she asked.

Jamie sat bolt upright in bed: “Already? Truly? I dinna care as long as ye and the wee one are healthy Claire! Christ, that was quick!” He looked at Claire’s face: “Are ye happy about it? Ye dinna look sure”

“I’m in shock, I think. I did the first test yesterday and that came up pink …” Claire began.

“And ye didna tell me?” Jamie said in shock.

“Well, I wanted a morning wee test to confirm it. If this were any more pink, it’d look like a red traffic light”, she smiled. “I’m happy but I don’t want to make too much fuss. I want to get through the first trimester before I get excited. One in four women can lose …”

“And ye won’t be one of them Claire. I know it. Come here”, he said as he raised his arm and she curled into his body. “Ye know what to do to keep yerself safe. I feel like I want to wrap ye in cotton wool and keep ye close, but I know ye’d go mad if I did.”

He hugged her. “Shit, my boobs are sore”, Claire laughed. “I think they’ve grown already.”

Jamie smirked: “Well, that’s good news Sassenach. I love those breasts already. The thought of them being bigger makes me happier than ye could know. Will they be sore for the entire pregnancy, or will it wear off so I can snuggle there?”, he asked as he pointed to her cleavage.

“Well, they will be sore some of the time and when they begin producing milk they’ll grow more”, Claire said looking down.

“Will I be allowed a wee drink?”, he asked with a boyish grin.

“Only if you’re very, very good”, Claire said teasing. “Just hold off telling the family until I’ve seen a gynaecologist and had the first scan. I don’t want them or us to be disappointed.”

“How long will that take?”, Jamie said looking mildly crushed.

“6 or so weeks from now”, Claire replied.

“Ye seriously think I can keep this secret for six weeks? And we’ve got the wedding to consider. Ma is already getting excited about that and itching to book everything. Do ye want the baby in the wedding photos?” Jamie exclaimed.

“Good point. Well, maybe just tell Brian and Ellen until I’ve seen the gynaecologist. I’ll get a referral as soon as I can”, Claire suggested. “I love Jenny, but you know she can’t keep a secret.”

Jamie smiled and said proudly: “Ye got pregnant as quickly as we fell in love. We dinna waste any time do we Sassenach?”

“Your sperm and my eggs must be as compatible as we are”, Claire replied with a kiss on his cheek. “Now I need to get to work and get a referral to a gynaecologist.”

She had a quick shower, donned her work clothes and headed for Edinburgh. She wasn’t sure if it was the pregnancy or her feeling that she should eat for two that forced her to eat her pre-packed lunch for morning tea. And for some reason she couldn’t face coffee and opted for tea instead.

A few days later she managed to grab an appointment with a gynaecologist, who arranged a scan and checked her over. It was all beginning to feel real.

Jamie was keen to attend the scan with her. She thought he was more nervous than her.

The sonographer introduced herself and briefly ran through the procedure, explaining that this would be a dating scan. Claire guessed she was about 10 weeks pregnant, and Jamie thought about 8 weeks. 

As she ran the scanner over Claire’s belly, she pointed out that the embryo was implanted in the womb and Jamie gasped, covering his mouth, as she pointed out the baby’s beating heart. Jamie’s hand found it’s way to Claire’s arm, which he squeezed gently. When she looked at him directly, she could see his broad smile and tears in his eyes. The umbilical cord, placenta and skull were normal at this early stage.

The sonographer measured the foetus from head to bottom: “Almost 3cms. You were both close - about 9 weeks. Soon your baby will get longer, curl and stretch.”

“And everything’s alright so far?” Jamie asked.

“No problems at this stage, Jamie. Everything is as it should be. 30 weeks to go to full term”, she replied.

“Do we get our baby’s first photo?” he asked with a smile.

“Definitely. You can start the photo album today”, she laughed. “And if you have another scan in ten weeks’ time we’ll be able to see more, including the baby’s gender. Do you want to know?”

“I think I’d like to keep that for a surprise at birth. As long as the baby’s healthy, I really don’t mind”, Claire replied. “How about you Jamie?”

“Same. It’s our little human that we made. Boy or girl doesn’t matter”, Jamie said kissing her cheek.

They bade the sonographer farewell and headed towards the car hand in hand. Jamie squeezed Claire’s hand: “Ye’ll be a wonderful mother Claire, I just know it.”

Claire squeezed his hand back: “Time to tell the grandparents there’s a little Fraser in the making?”

“I canna hold on to this any longer. Nine weeks is far enough isn’t it?” he beamed.

“Yes, Ellen and Brian need to know first. Just when they thought all their grandies were moving out of the big house too”, Claire laughed.

“They’ll be over the moon. A new generation of Frasers at _Lallybroch._ I’ll bet a bottle of the best whisky that Da will have the family tree out looking at names within hours of finding out.”

Jamie had always been protective of Claire, but she noticed that he immediately became even more so: “You’re making me feel fragile since you found out about the baby Jamie” she told him.

“Well, ye’ve got two to eat for and I’ve got two to protect now. Well, technically one and a quarter at this stage but ye know what I mean”, Jamie grinned.

“Have I told you how much I love you today?” she asked.

“Probably, but ye can tell me as often as ye like”, he said patting her belly.

They drove back to _Lallybroch_ , Claire driving and Jamie holding the photograph of their unborn child from the scan: “How can a wee child be only 3cms long? All those tiny organs and a beating heart in something smaller than my smallest finger.”

“Even full-term babies are around 50cms long Jamie. Pushing them out through the birth canal is pretty difficult when they’re that size. I’ve seen premature babies only 30cms in length – the same as an old-fashioned foot ruler. Some are even smaller and still survive”, Claire replied.

“Aye, I remember when wee Jamie was born. Being the first, he became the one we measured the others against. I was almost too frightened to pick up this precious bundle that Ian and Jenny doted on. Then one day he smiled at me and we’ve been close ever since. When Ian first went into the Army, he’d follow me everywhere. He missed his Da so much. I often wonder how it might have been if Ian had never gone”, he said looking thoughtful.

“Why did he go?” Claire asked.

“He did say once that he’d never really seen beyond our area. He and Jenny met at school and their friends were all a short drive away. I think he wanted to see a bit more of the world. And he wasn’t sure he wanted to live on a farm forever. I think this new house’ll be wonderful for him. Make him feel like he has his own place, instead of feeling like a dependant”, Jamie replied.

“He glowed when he saw that converted barn. I’m so happy for them”, Claire said with a smile.

“Aye. We’re still family but neighbours instead of all living together. And Ma and Da can have their own space too. Now I canna wait to meet our little one”, Jamie grinned.


	27. The big reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie really can't control how excited he is. (A slightly shorter chapter after a horrible week.)

When they arrived back at _Lallybroch,_ Jamie jumped out of the SUV and ran round to Claire’s side to open the door. Claire couldn’t decide if it was an act of chivalry, protectiveness or excitement. It was probably all three. He guided her out and held her hand as they walked to the door: “I hope Ma and Da are home”, he said as he squeezed Claire’s hand.

As they entered, Ellen appeared: “Ye’re home. Ye look pleased with yerselves. Where have you been?” she asked.

Jamie, unable to contain his delight, blurted out: “We’re going to have a baby!”

Claire had thought that Jenny would be the one to spread the news fast. She hadn’t reckoned on Maggie, who was in the nearby dining room with Brian. While Ellen hugged Jamie and Claire, Maggie ran through the house like a loud hailer on legs: “We’re going to have a baby! We’re going to have a baby!”, she called out repeatedly.

Ian emerged from the bathroom looking aghast as Jenny rushed out of the kitchen: “Christ Jenny, ye might have told me first. A man needs a bit of warning for Christ’s sake!”

“It’s no’ me ye numpty, it’s Claire!” Jenny called back, as she ran towards Jamie and Claire holding her arms out ready for a hug.

Wee Jamie and Kitty ran down the stairs in response to Maggie’s announcement. Kitty was looking around: “Where is it? Where’s the baby?”

Claire laughed and bobbed down to her height: “It’s in here” she replied, placing Kitty’s small hand on her belly.

“I can show ye a wee photo of the baby in Claire’s tummy”, Jamie told the children as they gathered around him for a look.

“How long before it comes out?”, wee Jamie asked.

“About another 30 weeks”, Jamie told them.

“When will that be?” Maggie asked.

“About September I suppose”, Jamie replied, looking at Claire for prompting.

“More or less”, Claire laughed. “It’s got a lot of growing to do before it can come out and meet you.”

Deciding now was a good time to play mother and baby games, Maggie and Kitty ran to their bedroom to get their toy babies. Wee Jamie gave Claire a hug: “Can we call the baby Major? That’d be a good name for a girl or a boy”, he suggested.

Jamie nudged Claire: “Da’s got the family tree out already looking at names. I knew it” he laughed. He looked at wee Jamie: “Yer grandda will soon come up with some very Scottish names for boys and girls. Maybe Major can be their nickname.”

Ellen and Jenny emerged from the kitchen with a bottle of whisky for the adults to celebrate, and a pot of tea for Claire. There was also a bottle of lemonade for the children. The homemade Dundee cake, made earlier that day, was placed in the centre of the dining table as the Fraser and Murray families gathered.

“My word, what a grand day”, Brian said glowing with happiness. “A wee Fraser to add to the family tree this year. We’d better get ye on this tree before then Claire.”

Ellen placed her hand over Claire’s: “Whatever ye want to do, we can sort it out Claire. Ye didna want a large wedding anyway so it’ll be easy to organise. Don’t feel ye have to rush, especially if ye’re not feeling the best.”

“Well, I was very tired some weeks back and I can’t face coffee. Other than that, I’ve felt fine. Let’s hope it stays that way”, Claire replied, touching wood for luck. 

She turned to see Maggie and Kitty “feeding” their toy babies. Wee Jamie was rolling his eyes: “Ye aff yer heids you two”, he scoffed.

Jenny gently tapped his shoulder: “They always did this when I was feeding wee Ian. They’re just getting some practice in for when Aunty Claire has her bairn.” Wee Ian must have heard his name. He woke from his afternoon sleep and Ellen went to collect him while Jenny ate her cake.

As the family talked about the birth of each of the Murray children, and Jamie and Jenny when they were bairns, Claire sat back quietly observing them. The child that she and Jamie had conceived would be part of an extended and loving family and she was glad of it. As an only child who lost her parents when she was just barely school age, it had been a lonely journey at times. It had made her resilient and self sufficient, but there were times when she would have welcomed some aunties and cousins to share her life.

Jamie sensed that she was lost in her thoughts: “Are ye alright Sassenach? Feeling tired?”

“A bit tired, but most of all looking around this room feeling happy that our child will be part of such a loving family”, she said with emotion. “I’ve become a bit sentimental since I got pregnant.”

“If Jenny wasna on the loo, she was eating when she was expecting wee Jamie”, Ian smiled.

“It’s true”, Jenny laughed. “No wonder I nearly burst! And my hormones ran riot.”

They spent several hours chatting, drinking, laughing and reminiscing, until it was time for Jamie to check on the livestock before darkness fell, Brian to collect some firewood and Jenny to prepare some food for the children’s evening meal. The adults would eat when they were in bed.

At Ellen’s urging, Claire lay down for a short nap. She woke just over an hour later, when Jamie came into the flat. He took delight in putting his cold hands on her warm cheeks: “Enjoy yer nap?” he asked.

“I did. Want to join me under these warm covers?” she asked.

“Aye. I like that idea. Jenny and Ma are going to serve the children their dinner and we’ll be eating later”, he told her. He removed his clothes and slipped under the covers with her, Claire rolling towards him to warm his body.

“Does ye being pregnant mean a bit less … well, sex?”, he asked.

“Actually, it’s likely to mean I have better orgasms and it’ll help to keep me fit”, Claire grinned.

“You? Have better orgasms than before? Hard to believe Sassenach. I only have to touch yer clitoris and ye’re squealing and writhing. I love it. Makes me feel good as well as ye”, he told her as he kissed her and gently ran his fingers between her legs. “Maybe we should just take it a wee bit slower”, he said drawing her closer.

“Hmm, yes. Enjoying you for longer has to be a good thing”, Claire replied.

Jamie took a moment to look serious: “But ye will tell me if it hurts at all won’t ye? I dinna want to do anything that causes ye any pain.”

“Jamie, you’re always gentle and caring. Sometimes, just a bit enthusiastic”, she laughed. “We’ll work together like we always do. I just wonder how huge I’ll get.”

“More of ye has to be a good thing Claire. I canna wait to feel the baby kicking. When will that begin?” he asked.

“It’ll be a few months yet. I’m looking forward to it – the feeling of a little person inside me letting me know they’re there. I just hope it doesn’t keep me awake for too long at night. I’ve had some patients who could see their pregnant belly move as it happens, and some who had to rush to the loo because the baby moved and put pressure on their bladder”, she told him. As she spoke, Jamie was becoming increasingly amorous. He was kissing her neck, then working his way down her body slowly, kissing and caressing as he went.

Claire laid back and let him do his magic, running her fingers through his red hair and sighing and squealing as he reached her erogenous zones. As she grew more and more turned on, she said quietly: “Jamie, it is safe for you to be inside me. I want you inside me.”

“I feel like there’ll be three of us. It’s odd”, he smiled back. “Are ye sure?”

“Absolutely. After all, that’s how our baby was made”, she grinned.

“Aye. You are my home and now I have to share that home with our child”, he whispered as he gently entered


	28. From Beauchamp to baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything seems to be going smoothly, until ...
> 
> (Apologies for the delay. In my crappy week and a bit, even my modem needed replacing.)

After much discussion, the simplest of weddings was organised for Jamie and Claire. Ned offered his services as a celebrant, the girls had their special bridesmaid dresses made by a dressmaker in Broch Mordha, and wee Jamie reluctantly went shopping for a shirt and jacket to complement his kilt. Shopping was only made bearable for him by the trip into Edinburgh with Ian, Jamie and Brian: “I get to go shopping with the men and no girls? I suppose I can do that. I dinna want Ma fussing over me like she does.” He wasn’t keen to be a ring bearer until Jamie told him he’d established a worm farm and would buy him a new fishing rod: “Will ye and Da take me fishing?” Jamie asked with a broad smile. “Aye”, Ian told him, “after the wedding.”

Claire, Jenny and Ellen shopped for their new clothes separately, with Claire having her dress expertly adjusted to accommodate her expanding girth. Claire also went on a jaunt with Jamie to buy a wedding ring that matched her engagement ring. At the insistence of his nieces, Jamie also bought a ring for himself.

John and several nursing friends of Claire’s flew up to Edinburgh for the occasion. Jamie had hired a kilt for John in his role as Claire’s benefactor.

The only other guests were Ellen’s brother, his wife and son – Collum, Letitia and Hamish Mackenzie – and some old friends of Jamie’s, Rupert and Angus. Needless to say, Dougal was not invited.

The only surprise guests on the day were Jamie’s godfather, Murtagh, and his wife, Jocasta, Ellen’s sister. They had been living in America for many years and initially said it would be too difficult for them to travel that distance as Jocasta was blind. However, they eventually decided this was likely to be the only time they would be at a family gathering again and flew into Edinburgh a day before the wedding. The reunion was a happy and emotional one.

As the wedding proceeded, Murtagh gave Jocasta a quiet commentary on the process while Ellen held hands with her. It had been years since the sisters had been together.

Claire sat with Jocasta later in the evening. Jocasta ran her hand over Claire’s face and hands: “Murtagh said there was never a fairer bride than ye, Claire. Ye’ve such delicate hands too. I notice that kind of thing. When ye canna see, ye use yer other senses to full advantage. Ye didna invite Dougal?” she asked.

“Well, that was a bit difficult Jocasta”, Claire said diplomatically.

“Nothing difficult about it, Claire. He always was a scoundrel. He may be my brother, but he’s always been the black sheep. If I’d thought he was to come, we might have had second thoughts. Murtagh was never fond of him either. My husband has taste”, she laughed.

“We brought you and Jamie a present that’s been in the family many years”, she said as she beckoned to Murtagh, who produced a beautifully wrapped box and called over Jamie. 

There were plenty of onlookers as Claire unwrapped the present and Jamie removed the lid of the box: “The apostle spoons!” Ellen cried. “I thought they were lost long ago. How old are they Jocasta?”

“Well, I had them valued and the antique expert said they were probably from the 17th century. I got these handed down to me and ye got the pearls as I recall Ellen”, Jocasta told them. “I did”, Ellen said. “They’ll go to Claire as the next Lady Broch Tuarach. It seems you and Jamie are to be the holders of the family heirlooms, Claire.”

John laughed at Claire’s title: “Just as well you married into a titled family, Claire. I can recall times in Iraq and Portsmouth where your name would never have been associated with ‘Lady’ anything.”

Claire smacked him playfully on the arm: “Just because you’re from an aristocratic family John Grey! I’ve heard you using a few choice expletives outside the officers’ mess.”

Having a small wedding meant both Claire and Jamie were able to spend ample time with all their guests, some of whom stayed overnight in the slightly crowded house. Fortunately, the Murray children were keen to sleep in the converted barn in their sleeping bags, watched over by Jenny. They needed no encouraging to sleep as it had been a long and exciting day.

The following morning saw a long and continuous breakfast-come-lunch before the Portsmouth group were chauffeured to the airport for their return trip. Murtagh and Jocasta spent five nights at a hotel in Edinburgh before returning to America, waved off by the Frasers and Murrays. They had spent some precious time together.

Now, life was almost back to normal, other than Claire now being a Fraser and adjusting her view of the future to include a child.

Over the coming months, Claire grew in size and so did the extension to the old barn.

When Claire was 30 weeks into her pregnancy, the extension was ready for the Murrays to move in. A few of Jenny’s favourite pieces of furniture were moved to the extension by Jamie and the builders. Other pieces were bought second-hand or new. Wee Jamie, Maggie and Kitty were so excited that they packed a small case each day and put it in Claire’s SUV to be driven down to the new house. Jenny packed a larger case of things of her own, Ian’s and wee Ian’s each day and joined them. It proved a good way to sort the wheat from the chaff. 

Clothes that no longer fitted the children were placed carefully in boxes by Ellen ready for the Fraser bairn, each box neatly labelled according to size. Claire thought it unlikely she’d have to buy anything, except a few special outfits.

Soon, the Murrays completed their move and spent their first days and nights living in their new home. Jamie and Claire moved their own belongings into the Laird’s Room while Brian and Ellen transferred theirs to the newly extended flat. Brian described it as a “rebirth”. Ellen reflected on how little her knees creaked since she no longer needed to climb the stairs regularly.

With so much space, Claire and Ellen fitted out a small “downstairs nursery” for the baby to sleep in while they were downstairs during the day, with the main nursery adjoining the Laird’s Room. Those hours spent together were a special bonding time for the two women. Claire knew all the clinical aspects of motherhood, but Ellen was more in tune with the everyday reality.

It was in the 34th week of Claire’s pregnancy that Ellen went to the kitchen to make morning tea while Claire remained in the downstairs nursery constructing an IKEA baby gym and mobile from impossible instructions which might as well have been in the Swedish language.

Ellen returned to the small room to find Claire collapsed on the floor. She almost dropped the tray of tea and cake she was carrying in alarm, but had the wherewithal to put the tray on the floor and kneel next to Claire: “Claire, can ye talk?”

“My vision is blurred, and I suddenly have a headache. I was dizzy and had a sudden pain in my upper abdomen. I think you’d better call for an ambulance Ellen. Please hurry back”, Claire told her tearfully.

Ellen ran to her phone, called for an ambulance and sat with Claire, who remained prostrate on the floor. Ellen had grabbed a blanket to cover Claire and held her hand. She knew Jamie and Brian had gone to the far side of the property to repair some torn fencing and tried to call them but went directly to their message banks. 

As she stroked Claire’s head, she heard the ambulance siren approaching: “I’m going to open the door for them Claire. I’ll be back in just a moment” she said rushing to the door.

The paramedics were speedy and efficient. Ellen had told the operator what Claire had said, and they were fairly confident that she was suffering from pre-eclampsia. A test of her blood pressure confirmed that it was elevated: “We’ll need to take her into the Royal Edinburgh for tests and monitoring. Do you want to travel in the ambulance with her?”, they asked.

“Yes please. I’ll ring my daughter and tell her what’s going on as you get Claire in the ambulance”, Ellen told them. As the paramedics prepared Claire on the stretcher, Ellen rang Jenny: “Tell Brian and Jamie we’re on our way to the Royal Edinburgh. They want to run tests on Claire. I’m going with her. I tried to contact them, but they must have been out of range. I have to go Jenny.”

“I’ll watch out for them Ma. Take care of Claire and tell her we love her”, Jenny said with concern.

As the ambulance drove out of _Lallybroch_ and on to the road to Edinburgh, Jamie and Brian drove over the ridge in Brian’s old Land Rover and saw it speeding along the road, lights flashing. Jamie’s face paled: “Christ, what’s going on?”

Both he and Brian heard their phones ring with messages of missed calls from Ellen. Jamie began to panic: “It’s Claire. Something’s wrong with her and the bairn. Christ Da, what’s going on?”

Brian held Jamie’s arm to settle him: “I’ll call Jenny. She’ll probably know.”

Brian put the speaker on so Jamie could hear his call with Jenny: “Ma’s gone to the Royal Edinburgh with Claire. She collapsed and they want to do some tests on her and monitor her. Come straight here and I’ll make ye both a cup of coffee before ye go.”

“I dinna want a cup of coffee. I’m going straight to Edinburgh to see my wife and bairn are alright”, Jamie said emphatically. As he spoke, his eyes flared and for a fleeting moment Brian thought his son looked like a Scottish warrior.

Brian reassured him: “We’ll put on some clean shoes, grab the car keys and go straight to Edinburgh. Yer Ma will be watching her like a hawk lad. Ellen loves Claire like one of her own Jamie. And ye know what yer Ma is like when she’s looking after family. I wouldna cross her.”


	29. Watch and Wait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wait for a wee Fraser continues.

As the ambulance carried Claire and Ellen to the Infirmary, Claire was becoming fraught: “Can you hear the baby’s heartbeat? Is the baby alright?”

Ellen held her hand as the paramedic reassured her: “Yes, I heard the baby. Now, your blood pressure is elevated, so I want you to do some slow breathing in and out to the count of 4 and relax your muscles.”

Claire complied as the paramedic calmly explained what would happen: “As soon as we get to the Infirmary, we’ll take urine and blood tests, but in the meantime keep up that slow breathing and we’ll see if we can bring your BP down.”

After 5 minutes, Claire was beginning to settle. After 10 minutes, her BP was a far more respectable 130/90. The paramedic asked her a number of questions about her symptoms, which she described like the professional she was: “I’m assuming you’ve had medical training Mrs Fraser”, he smiled.

“Yes, quite a bit actually. Being a patient doesn’t come easily to me”, she replied still sounding a little edgy. 

“I’m going to check the baby’s heartbeat again to reassure you. In the meantime, if you notice any pain or nausea, let me know”, he asked.

Claire watched him for any signs of concern on his face. There were none. “The baby sounds fine. Do your best to remain relaxed. Only 10 minutes to the hospital at most now.” Claire's hand clung to Ellen's as they drew closer to the hospital.

Ellen was impressed that the hospital seemed well prepared for Claire’s arrival. Details taken by the paramedic were already on the computer system and within minutes Claire was wheeled into a specialist gynaecology unit. Urine and blood samples were organised and whisked off to pathology and Claire was attached to several monitors, giving feedback on her vital signs.

A sonographer had just arrived and begun setting up when Jamie arrived, looking anxious. A nurse escorted him to Claire’s room, while Brian waited outside. Ellen quietly left to bring Brian up to date as Jamie sat next to Claire: “Christ Sassenach, ye now how to put the wind up someone. What happened?”

Claire described her symptoms and the checks that had been done just in time for the sonographer to begin the scan. The sonographer talked as she observed: “I’m looking to make sure the placenta is as it should be, and you’ll be pleased to know it is. The baby’s heartbeat is steady and healthy. The head isn’t engaged yet, but that’s normal considering the stage of development. Do you have any questions for me?”

“So, the placenta hasn’t detached from the uterine wall? The baby is still getting all it needs?” Claire asked.

“It all looks fine. Given what happened this morning, I think the gynaecologist will want to observe you for a while to ensure you’ve stabilised and both you and baby are progressing as expected”, she replied. “It’s important that you rest and avoid any exertion.”

When the sonographer left, Brian and Ellen joined Jamie and Claire, looking relieved at the news that all appeared to be well thus far. A few minutes later, a gynaecologist arrived and introduced himself: “I’m Dr Hunter. I’ve just come to meet you all and let you know that once we have the results of the blood and urine tests, I’ll have a firmer idea of what to expect in the coming days. At this stage, you can expect to be in the hospital for at least two days Mrs Fraser, probably more. Pre-eclampsia needs to be monitored carefully. I’ll leave you all to discuss how you’ll organise your family commitments and return as soon as I get the blood and urine test results.”

“I’m not leaving Claire alone. It’s not a long way from _Lallybroch,_ but it’s too far if something happens”, Jamie said emphatically.

“Ye can’t be with Claire 24 hours a day Jamie. I think we should find ourselves an apartment close by so we can do shifts with Claire. What do ye think Brian?” Ellen said.

“Grand idea. I can manage on my own at home and Jenny’s very close. I can do simple jobs around the farm until Jamie can be back”, Brian agreed.

“Stay with Claire and we’ll organise it all Jamie. Then we’ll pick up a few things we’ll need if we’re to be here for some days”. As they left, Claire looked up at Jamie: “Your parents are wonderful. So caring and supportive.”

“They are. Jenny and I were lucky to get the parents we have, and now they’re your family too Claire. They’d walk over hot coals for ye”, he told her as he sat and held her hand. “As would I.”

Claire dozed a little until Dr Hunter returned: “Well, we have all the data we need now. There’s protein in your urine, although it’s not currently at worrying levels. A slight affect on your kidney function compared to the levels earlier in your pregnancy and, of course, the visual disturbances and headaches. Your blood pressure looks good now. The baby looks fine and there are no indications of placental abruption. Having said all that, I believe you are aware that a sudden increase in blood pressure could result in the slowing down of oxygen and nutrients getting to the baby via the placenta. You had no bleeding, but you did have abdominal pain.”

Claire looked at Jamie’s expressive face, fear written all over it. She squeezed his hand and smiled at him. She was concerned for him; all he could think about was her and their child.

The gynaecologist continued: “You’re almost 35 weeks now Claire. I’d like to get you to 37 weeks, provided of course that we have no setbacks in those few weeks. By that time, the baby’s lungs will be more developed, and it will be ready to face the world with fewer problems. Of course, if we have to intervene in the interim you will have a pre-term baby who will need our support. How do you both feel about a two week stay in the hospital – possibly longer?”

Before Claire could utter a word, Jamie jumped in: “Whatever’s best for Claire and our child. Just tell me what I have to do.”

Dr Hunter grinned: “It’s always a joy to meet a supportive partner. Do you have support yourself Mr Fraser?”

“Please, it’s Jamie. Yes, my parents and my sister. My mother has already said she’ll stay with me in Edinburgh to support Claire. She and my father are just organising some accommodation”, Jamie smiled.

“Well Claire, I can see you’re going to have plenty of support. Your job is to rest, eat well and do as you’re told”, he grinned.

“Doing as she’s told might be a bit of a push, but she can rest and eat”, Jamie laughed as Claire gave him _The Look_.

When Brian and Ellen returned, they had arranged an apartment close to the hospital with the likelihood of an extended stay in mind and had bought some essential supplies and clothes. Claire soon brought them up to date with the test results and plans: “Ye know that ye can rely on us for anything ye need Claire. If there’s anything ye need from home, just write a list and Brian will return tomorrow with it”, Ellen told her. Claire wrote a short list and Brian tucked it into his jacket pocket.

“Jamie, how about we go to have a meal while Claire rests? Ye can return a bit later to check on her”, Ellen suggested.

Jamie looked doubtful until Claire reassured him: “Jamie, I only need to press a button, and someone will be here. You need to eat and exercise. I want you to take care of yourself.”

Jamie reached into his pocket: “Ye can have my mobile and ring me on Ma’s number if ye need us. We won’t be far away.” He kissed her on the forehead and whispered: “I love ye Sassenach. See ye soon”.

Left alone in her hospital bed, Claire was able to reflect on the happenings of the day. All the ifs – if Ellen hadn’t been there to help her, if a delay in being found could have led to serious damage to herself and her unborn baby, if the hospital hadn’t been close and responsive. A few tears slid down her face, but she brushed them away and told herself to settle down. She needed to control her emotions and blood pressure. 

She was engaged in positive self-talk when a cheery woman came bounding into her room with a vase of flowers: “They’re beautiful. Are they really for me?” Claire asked.

“You’re Claire Fraser, are ye not?” the woman asked cheerily.

“I am”, Claire replied.

“Then they’re for ye. The wee card says _Thinking of you. Much love, the Murrays_. They must think highly of ye to send such a bonny bunch. Is that Jenny and Ian Murray?”, she asked.

“It is. My sister-in-law and her husband. They have four beautiful children. I nursed Ian when he came back from Iraq and then met and married his brother-in-law”, Claire smiled.

“Ah yes, Jamie. A good man. I’m related to Murtagh, who I believe went to yer wedding. He and Jocasta had a wonderful time. I’m Matron Fitzgibbons. Any problems, ask for me Claire”, she said with a jaunty wave and a wide smile as she bounded out the door.

Claire smiled to herself: “Seems everyone knows everyone else in this part of the world.”


	30. Unto us a child is born

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Claire is full of support.

Claire was eating and drinking when Jamie returned: “Ma has gone to the apartment for a break. We’ve worked out that we can divide our roster in three hour shifts so we can both eat and exercise but there’ll be someone here with ye from 7 to 7 every day. Who sent the flowers?”

“They’re from Jenny and Ian. They were delivered to me by Matron Fitzgibbons, who’s related to Murtagh.”

“Aye, Glenna. She’s a wee gem. Very kind and no nonsense”, Jamie told her.

During Jamie’s “shift”, Claire ate, drank and was told her urine and blood would be tested again first thing every morning. Jamie had bought her some magazines and a note pad and pens. Whenever she nodded off, he would continue reading his own book. 

He and Ellen continued their shifts for another week. Claire continued to have intermittent spells of high blood pressure, her feet swelled and there were low levels of protein in her urine, but there was no apparent threat to her or the baby until she was halfway through the 36th week of her pregnancy.

Jamie was eating an early breakfast at the apartment when Matron Fitzgibbons rang Ellen: “Ye’d better get to the hospital. Claire has had an elevated blood pressure for a few hours and swelling of her hands and legs has increased. Dr Hunter has reviewed her vital signs and decided to proceed with induction of the baby this morning.” 

Jamie had a slice of toast in one hand and a coffee in the other when Ellen told him. He stood, finished his coffee, grabbed his jacket and moved towards the apartment door in what appeared to be one urgent movement: “I’ll see ye there Ma. Have yer breakfast. We could be in for a long spell at the hospital.”

Ellen didn’t have time to reply before Jamie had bounded out of the door and raced off to the hospital. As she ate her breakfast, she sent texts to Brian and Jenny: _Claire being induced this morning. Will keep you informed._

On arrival at the hospital, Glenna Fitzgibbons brought her up to date with Claire’s progress: “We’ve given Claire medication to induce labour and Dr Hunter is with her and Jamie now. Jamie is that tense ye’d think he was the one having the bairn. Make yerself comfortable in the waiting room and I’ll bring ye a cuppa soon. White tea with sugar?”

“No sugar thanks Glenna”, Ellen replied. “But I’d appreciate news of what’s happening.”

When Glenna returned, she handed the cup of tea and a biscuit to Ellen: “Claire is doing a grand job. Contractions have begun and Jamie’s being very supportive. After a while, I’ll get him a drink and something to eat and ye can join Claire if ye’d like to.”

“Of course, as long as Jamie is fine with that”, Ellen replied.

A few hours later, Jamie emerged from the room: “Christ Ma, I canna believe women go back and have more than one bairn. I’m exhausted just watching Claire. I need to go to the loo, can ye be with Claire?” Jamie asked.

“Of course”, Ellen replied.

When Ellen entered, she could see Claire sitting at an angle in a labour chair, which supported her back between contractions and allowed the power of gravity to work. She usually had porcelain skin, but now she was pink and sweating. She held a hand out to Ellen: “Hold my hand Ellen. It’s good to have you …” She stopped mid-sentence as the next contraction swept in. Ellen held her hand and used the other hand to wipe her sweaty brow with an absorbent cloth: “Breathe steadily Claire”, she suggested as Claire squeezed her hand and arched her back a little.

As the contraction faded, Claire leaned back, and Ellen brushed her hair back from her hot face: “Ye’re doing a grand job Claire. I’ll time how long it is to the next contraction. Rest while ye can. Would ye like some music on?”

“No music, thanks. Could you massage my legs a little? They’re cramping”, Claire replied. Ellen put some cream on her hands and gently massaged Claire’s legs: “Oh Ellen, that’s perfect. Thank you.”

Jamie returned with Glenna, who refilled drink bottles and brought clean cloths to wipe Claire’s face. She checked Claire: “Well, her waters have broken and she’s into active labour now. How long between contractions?” she asked as Claire was clearly entering another phase.

“3 minutes”, Ellen replied.

“What does that mean?” Jamie asked.

Glenna looked up at his anxious face: “It means the contractions will become more intense, she’s likely to have backache and she’ll need a lot of support. Ye can both stay with her if ye wish. She may want to kneel during contractions and ye can support her arms. I’ll call Dr Hunter and tell him we may need him to check her out in the next hour.”

As time passed and the contractions were longer and closer together, Claire went through a difficult phase: “Christ, I don’t think I want to do this. Can I change my mind? For fuck’s sake, if men had to go through this, they’d have invented an easier way.”

Ellen grinned: “Ye’re the strongest woman I know Claire. If anyone can do it, ye can. Women are stronger than any man”. She looked up at the surprise on Jamie’s face: “Including ye Jamie Fraser.”

As if by magic (but more likely from years of experience and prompting from Glenna), Dr Hunter appeared in time to check Claire and announce: “On the next contraction, I want you to push downward Claire.” Claire complied. Several contractions later, he announced: “I think we’ll see the baby’s head at the end of this contraction, then their shoulders and all the hard work will be worth it.”

Jamie and Ellen adjusted the pillows behind Claire in preparation for the gargantuan effort she was about to make. It seemed like an eternity until Dr Hunter said: “Almost there Claire. One more push.” Then, in a flash, there was a baby, a flurry of activity, a loud and healthy cry, and skin-to-skin contact for the baby and Claire. She was exhausted yet found the energy to hold their child as Jamie said with emotion: “We have a boy Claire. A beautiful boy. Ye were brilliant Claire. I couldna be more proud.”

Claire instinctively held him to her breast, and he struggled to make some contact before latching on weakly. She knew from her training that this would help her body expel the placenta and settle the baby. A cloth was placed over the baby to stop the loss of body heat. It was only then that both Claire and Jamie looked up to see Ellen crying profusely yet quietly.

Jamie reached across Claire to hold Ellen’s hand: “Ma, ye’ve a grandson. A wee Fraser. Are ye alright?” He handed her the box of tissues sitting by Claire’s arm. She took a handful and covered her nose and eyes.

Glenna, realising that something was amiss, held Ellen by the shoulders. “I just got a message to say Brian is outside. Come with me to tell him the good news Ellen.” Glenna led Ellen from the room, leaving Jamie and Claire to marvel at their child, and returned a few minutes later with another nurse to handle the cleaning up process and make Claire comfortable.

“Is Ellen alright?” Claire asked.

“Aye, Brian was outside waiting for news. They’re both excited and were ringing Jenny. I think Brian’s given him about twenty names already. Sounded like he was about to be named after the entire Celtic football team to me”, Glenna joked.

As the doctor checked the wee boy, who was then wrapped in warm clothing and placed in a crib, Claire was cleaned up. Jamie brushed her hair and showered her with kisses: “I always knew ye were incredible Sassenach but ye excelled yerself producing such a bonny lad. Now we have to decide on a name. Do ye have any firm ideas?”

“Well, I’m sure Brian will be able to advise us on that. Does he remind you of any of your family?” Claire asked.

“I’m pleased to say he looks nothing like Dougal. I think he favours me but there’s someone else there. I’m not sure”, Jamie said thoughtfully.

When all was ready, Glenna ushered Brian and Ellen into the room. Brian had brought fresh flowers for Claire and a baby’s bonnet, hand-knitted by Jenny. Brian cast his eyes over his grandchild and turned to Ellen: “Ye’re right Ellen. It’s uncanny” he declared.

Ellen nodded, still red around the eyes and looking emotional.

“What’s uncanny?” Claire asked as she looked from Brian to Ellen.

“The wee lad’s the spitting image of his uncle Willie when he was a bairn”, Brian replied biting his bottom lip. “I’ll bring some photos in so ye can see for yerself. The same reddish tufts of hair, the cat-like eyes, the small ears but a different nose to Jamie’s. I can see why Ellen was so taken aback.” 


	31. A born healer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be the last in this tale - an Epilogue.
> 
> I have been writing almost constantly for three years and it's time for a breather. I have no idea how long that break will be. I've found myself lacking inspiration of late, largely because of my husband's terminal illness. I make a commitment to complete my stories, and in the present circumstances that may not be possible. Now I'm going to do some reading of the work of others and recharge the batteries. I would like to let you all know that your comments on each of the chapters I've written over the years have been a source of encouragement and support. It's a strange fandom at times (for example, my stories appear to be non-existent to the Lallybroch Library), but the readers of my stories have been just wonderful.

Brian looked over at the exhausted Ellen: “Jamie, take yer Ma for a meal to celebrate. I’ll stay here with Claire and phone if we need ye. I think Claire is glowing now she’s given birth to such a perfect boy. Ye can bring her back something special.”

Jamie shared Brian’s concern about Ellen. No words were needed to convey that. He guided Ellen to the door and promised to be back soon.

Claire was also guessing that Brian wanted to reveal to her the story of Willie: “You’re so transparent, Brian. You didn’t want to upset Ellen any more than was necessary by talking about Willie in front of her, did you? He was obviously very important to you both.”

Brian grinned laconically: “I doubt anyone’s ever pulled the wool over yer eyes Claire. Ye’re absolutely right.” 

He settled into the chair next to her bed: “William was our first child. Jenny was born just over two years later and Jamie three years after her. Jamie was just a lad when Willie died after an accident. We rarely discuss him or the accident because it broke Ellen’s heart. It became taboo. All of the photographs with Willie in them are stored in the old priest’s hole, so Ellen doesna see them. I’d hoped she might be able to open up about him as time went on, but we became used to him being in the back of our minds. He’s always been in our hearts though, as ye saw today when Ellen saw yer wee bairn.”

“Brian, how would you and Ellen feel about us naming our child William? Given he is so like him, it may be a way of healing Ellen. The only names I have for a boy are Henry, after my father, and Lambert, after my uncle. They were both very special to me, but I get the feeling the mystical powers have sent our boy here to heal some Fraser wounds. And I’d love to see some of those photographs if you’re agreeable”, she said leaning forward to take his hand.

“It’s been a long time Claire. I hope having another William in our lives can help Ellen recall Willie with happiness. He was a beautiful boy and much loved. We should celebrate his life, albeit short. I’ll talk to Ellen. I don’t want to make the decision without her”, Brian replied.

“Which is why you have such a strong marriage. I see that sense of fairness and sharing in Jamie all the time. He’s a chip off the old block”, Claire laughed.

Glenna arrived with cups of tea and sandwiches for both of them and stopped for a chat. As she was about to leave, Jamie and Ellen returned with a bottle of champagne and a box of six champagne flutes: “To wet the baby’s head” Jamie declared. “Join us Glenna” he insisted.

“Well, just the one. I am on duty ye know. Wouldna do to get a bit tipsy”, she said with a giggle.

They clinked their glasses and welcomed the birth of Baby Fraser. It was Ellen who surprised Brian and Claire when she declared: “Jamie has suggested he would like to include the name William in the baby's name, if that’s alright with ye Claire. As a tribute to his brother.”

Brian and Claire looked at one another and snorted with laughter: “We were just discussing precisely that”, Claire told them. “I think it’s a wonderful idea. How does William Henry Brian Lambert sound?”

“Perfect”, Jamie agreed raising his glass.

Somehow, prompted by the arrival of William, Ellen opened up about Willie. So many of the memories she’d suppressed flooded out, maybe helped by the champagne. When baby William woke, Jamie gently lifted him from his crib and handed him to Claire, who held him to her breast. She could feel her body responding to his sucking and blushed when Jamie declared: “I’m quite jealous of the bairn.”

Brian held Ellen’s hand: “I think we should go home and leave William to get to know his parents. I’d like to get the photos of Willie out and choose a few to show Claire tomorrow.”

“Aye, it’s time and I’d like Claire to see how alike they are as bairns”, Ellen replied. She still looked emotional, but now it had developed into a happy acceptance of another William in her life. Maybe even an opportunity to see how Willie would have looked had he not died.

As the grandparents left hand in hand, Jamie reached over Claire and kissed the top of her head: “Thank ye” he said simply. “Not just for a bonny bairn but for helping Ma to remember Willie with fondness instead of sadness.”

“Well, I must admit that did work out rather well. More by luck than design really. It must have been devastating for them when Willie died”, Claire replied, as she moved William from the right breast to the left and he latched on.

“I was only a lad, but I can remember watching as Ma would begin to cry for no apparent reason. Da packing up boxes of anything to do with Willie and putting them where she wouldna see them. Jenny and I soon learned that it was better not to mention his name. Jenny did consider naming one of her boys Willie but thought the better of it. It’s fitting that his namesake is also a Fraser, I think”, Jamie said with a little emotion.

“It is.” She looked down as little William released his grip on her breast: “I think he’s a bit full.” She rested the tiny baby on her shoulder and gently rubbed his back until he let out a burp: “Definitely a Fraser”, Claire laughed.

Jamie took the baby from her and carefully placed him in the crib: “How do ye feel Sassenach?”

“So many feelings. Relief, joy, a bit overwhelmed, excited, grateful and incredibly hungry! And tired. My body feels like it’s been pushed to its limits”, Claire told him.

“Aye. Ye were amazing. I’ve no idea how ye did it all but I feel tired from just watching ye. I might head off. Is there anything ye want me to do before I go? Or bring ye tomorrow morning?”, Jamie smiled.

“Just you. As long as I’ve got you and William, I’ll be fine”, she said with a yawn.

“Aye, there’s three of us now. That’ll take some getting used to”, he said kissing her. “I’ll be back early.”

When Jamie had left, Glenna appeared: “I’ll just check the wee lad’s nappy before ye both have a rest. Is he feeding well?”

“Yes, surprisingly well. It’s a strange feeling to feed a little human but he seems to be a natural so far”, Claire told her.

“Ye did well. Knowing what to expect with yer nursing experience makes it a bit easier but it’s the hardest day’s work ye’ll ever do. We’ll keep ye monitored for a few days to ensure there are no post-partum problems with blood pressure and the like, but I hope ye’ll be able to go home in a few days Claire. Now, have a good rest. We’ll keep a watch on ye and the lad”, she said as she left.

Things went well over the next few days. Brian and Ellen brought photos of Willie as a newborn to compare with William and Claire had to agree the likeness was amazing. By day 4 of the young man’s life, he was on the way to his home at _Lallybroch_ for the first time.

They were greeted at the door by Jenny, Ian and their two youngest children. Wee Jamie and Maggie were both at school and would be picked up later in the day. Kitty was still missing Maggie, so a new cousin was a wonderful distraction. She was Claire’s shadow as she watched and commented on everything she did with the baby. She watched him as he slept, and eventually she found a good chair where she could hold wee William when he woke: “Maggie will be jealous of me when I tell her”, she said proudly.

Jenny had made a fine spread of sandwiches and small cakes for everyone, as well as presenting Claire with a few new outfits she had hand knitted. After a few hours of chatting, it was time for wee Jamie and Maggie to be collected and introduced to little William Fraser.

Claire was exhausted that night. After preparing William for bed, she disappeared under the blankets herself and fell into a deep sleep.

She was woken in the early hours of the morning by the creaking of the nursery door. Bleary eyed, she noticed Jamie wasn’t in bed and peeped into the nursery. There was Jamie, holding William with both of them wrapped in a Fraser plaid on a recliner. William was half asleep, one little hand gripped on to Jamie’s smallest finger, as Jamie spoke to him quietly. Claire thought she’d never seen anything so beautiful. 

Jamie sensed her presence and looked up with a smile: “He woke a few minutes ago griping, his legs up and a slightly swollen tummy. I remember Jenny’s bairns being like that when they were full of wind. When I lifted him, the wind came out of both ends”, he laughed.

“I’ll give him a feed, change his nappy and put him back to bed”, Claire suggested. She sat on the other recliner while Jamie watched.

“Ye know Sassenach, I was a bit worried I couldna love anyone as much as I love ye, but I canna describe my feelings for this wee boy. When I saw how much he looked like Willie it brought back all that hero worship I had for my older brother. All those feelings that have been bottled up for years came to the fore. Such a tiny baby bringing back memories and love for someone who left us years ago. He’s a born healer”, Jamie said quietly.

“Of course he’s wonderful. He was born of our love for one another”, Claire smiled as she kissed young William’s forehead.


	32. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank you all for the beautiful comments you made on the last chapter and in your personal messages. I've enjoyed sharing the last three years with you all but, as you know, personal circumstances can dictate the directions we take and the decisions we make. I have no idea if or when I'll be back but it's been an enjoyable journey. My love and best wishes to you all now and in the future.

It was a special Christmas – 10 years since Jamie and Claire had first met.

William, now commonly referred to as Will, had recently celebrated his eighth birthday. Their second child, Brianna, was 6 and their youngest, Faith, was 3. Claire had had a difficult pregnancy with their youngest and Faith had been burdened with respiratory illnesses since birth. The expression “have faith” had been used so frequently that the name Faith had stuck. She was a little small for her age but otherwise a determined and strong-willed little girl. She was, as predicted, the third child with a mop of red hair. Wee Jamie called her Major because, of all the Fraser children, Faith was the most assertive despite her tender years and diminuitive stature. Claire maintained she was assertive _because_ of her size.

Jamie, Will, wee Jamie and wee Ian had been out choosing two trees for Christmas. One was destined for _Lallybroch_ and the other for the Murray’s house, the old barn. The name “wee Jamie” was hardly fitting for Jamie Murray, who was now a teenager. Jenny maintained he grew “like a weed”, regularly growing out of his clothes. His appetite was insatiable.

Once the tree was secured in the living area of _Lallybroch_ , Briana and Faith were keen to be involved in the decorating of it. Jamie supervised them as Brian and Ellen looked on. Brian and Ellen were now happy to sit back and let the younger generations of Frasers and Murrays do the climbing and bending.

Once the tree was decorated, wrapped presents were placed beneath it and the Christmas lights lit. The children peeped at the cards to see which gifts were for them until Claire reminded them: “You know I never put your names on the gifts. I have my own code to recognise which present is for whom. And don’t shake them!”

Claire had been offered a role as a part-time district nurse, linked to the medical practice in Broch Mordha, and had gladly accepted it so she could be close to home and family. It wasn’t just the children who needed her. Brian had a dicky heart, which Ellen maintained matched her dicky knees. While Will and Brianna were at school, Faith would remain with Jamie and her grandparents or escort Claire if it was appropriate. Claire would be on call for any of her patients who had a medical problem over Christmas and the New Year.

With mistletoe in short supply, Claire had managed to get hold of an artificial hanging version online and had hung it strategically over the doorway of the Laird’s Room. No Christmas would be complete without it.

On the landing, just outside the old nursery, was a collection of double photo frames. In the left of each frame was a photograph of Jamie’s brother Willie and in the right a photograph of Will at the same age. The likeness continued through the years. Soon there would be pictures of Will alone, as his namesake had died at the age of 10. Further along the corridor were photos of Brianna and Faith.

In the old nursery were other memories of Jamie and Claire’s children – their crib, favourite stuffed toys and books and the like. It was a place to reminisce for all the family. Each birthday, Claire marked their heights on the doorway to the Laird’s Room.

The house was always busy. One or more of the Murrays dropped in every day and they gathered for special holidays and birthdays. In the lead-up to Christmas, it was busier than usual. Ellen, Claire and Jenny were joined by Maggie, Kitty and Brianna in making cakes and puddings. Faith would share time with whoever let her help – and when she could lick the bowl of cake mix.

Jenny declared: “We’re out of vanilla essence and eggs.”

Brianna held Faith’s hand: “Come with me. We’ll check the chicken coop.” The two girls put on their coats and boots and disappeared into the garden.

“I’ll go into Broch Mordha and get some vanilla essence. I have to drop into the chemist to get some dressings and things anyway. Just in case I need them over the holiday season”, Claire told them. She grabbed her car keys and coat and headed to the door. She had a list of things to get and half an hour of peace would be welcome.

When she returned, the aroma of fresh cooking was wafting through the house. With the first stage of the preparation done, they sat around drinking and chatting. The boys were hanging around in the hope that they might score some surplus cakes: “Hands off!” Jenny called out to wee Jamie, Will and Ian, despite having her back to them.

“How did ye know we were about to ..”, wee Jamie began.

“Because I know ye’ve all got hollow legs and Will has a squeaky shoe”, Jenny laughed.

In the evening before Christmas, the turkeys were stuffed, the ham glazed, and the vegetables prepared. Everything was ready for The Big Day. Claire was exhausted and headed to bed early. She’d be up to heat the ovens early the following morning. 

Jamie looked in later to see she was fast asleep. He undressed in the old nursery and crept into the bedroom to avoid waking Claire. As he slipped between the sheets, Claire mumbled: “Don’t warm your cold legs up on me Jamie Fraser” and fell back to sleep. He’d rather hoped he might be warming up The Man Downstairs, but no chance of that tonight, he thought. Maybe he and Claire could make up for that on Christmas Day.

The following morning was busy and noisy. The Murrays arrived laden with presents, the lunch was cooking, the wine was chilling, and the children were all eager to find out what they had been gifted for Christmas. They all knew that presents were opened after lunch but well, what was the harm in speculating?

As lunch approached, Ned arrived. He had brought a range of expensive drinks and chocolates to be shared by his clients and friends. The children looked lovingly at the boxes of chocolates, only to hear: “No touching!” from Ellen.

Lunch was a long, drawn out affair with plentiful food, much laughing and memories of Christmases past. 

By the time the food has been consumed it was mid-afternoon. Brian had fallen asleep in his favourite armchair while the piles of dishes were rinsed. The presentation of gifts followed the usual pattern; one present at a time so everyone could see what the others had received.

As the children played with their new toys, loaded their new games on their laptops and tried on new clothes, Claire squeezed Jamie’s hand and whispered: “One more present I want to give you, but you need to come upstairs.” Jamie grinned, thinking The Man Downstairs was about to get his Christmas wish. He eagerly followed Claire up the stairs. She grabbed him under the mistletoe, giving him a long, passionate kiss: “This is a special gift for our tenth Christmas” she said handing him a neatly wrapped box.

Jamie parked himself on the end of the bed and opened the box, watched by a smiling Claire: “Is this what I think it is? Are ye pregnant again?” he asked as he held up a positive pregnancy test.

“It is. You asked me to come to _Lallybroch_ for ten years and then we’d review the situation. Well, this is the situation”, Claire laughed.

“I can only pray that the next ten years are as happy as the first ten Sassenach. Shall we go downstairs and tell everyone?” Jamie asked.

“I thought maybe we could celebrate _in_ the bed rather than _on_ it”, Claire said undoing the buttons on her blouse. “After all, The Man Downstairs has to take a lot of the credit for a fourth little Fraser.”

They had just finished celebrating their fourth pregnancy when there was a knock on the door. Faith called in her high-pitched voice: “Ma, Da are ye coming out soon? I want to show ye my new dress that Aunty Jenny made for me.”

“Ma’s just trying on her new jumper. We’ll be down in a moment”, Jamie replied as he ran his hand over Claire’s pregnant bump. “Looks like we got caught,.Sassenach. We’d best join the gathering downstairs and break the news.”

They both dressed, Claire in her new jumper and a pair of jeans, and descended the stairs.

“A wee announcement for everyone”, Jamie smiled to the gathering. “Claire’s just told me about my new present, which is due to arrive in August.”

There were cheers from the adults and older children. Faith looked puzzled: “That’s a long way away Da. Why can’t ye have it before then?”

Jamie lifted her on his arm and told her: “Because it’ll take that long to make ye a big sister Faith. Ye’re going to have a wee brother or sister.”

“Please let it be a boy”, Will said. “I deserve to have a brother after two sisters.”

“I don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl as long as I’m a big sister”, Faith said. “I’m always the smallest.”

Brianna was more practical: “Ye’ll have to clear out the old nursery for the new bairn Ma. I can help.”

Claire approached Ellen and Brian, perching herself on the arm of the large armchair: “So much for you two leading a quieter life. I hope this one’s not a noisy baby.”

Brian put his hand on her arm and smiled: “I’m just glad ye had the idea of converting the old barn for the Murrays or we’d have been relegated to the priest’s hole in our old age. The flat will do us nicely Claire. Jamie looks happy about it.”

“I think he is. He loves his children very much”, Claire replied looking over at Jamie dancing around the living room with Faith on his arm. “And they adore him. As do I.”


End file.
